(Adding to my question) I've asked him why he doesn't stop even when the law steps in, he tells me it's because he has an authority problem and no one's going to tell him he can't drink, and he’ll make that decision for himself. He says he really wants to stop drinking, but obviously hasn't decided to do it. I am at the end of my rope. I love this man, at least the sober man. He is a wonderful guy. But the side of him that's influenced/driven by alcohol I have really grown to hate. It's so hard, I wish I could take him in my arms, hold him tightly, and release him of this demon (so to speak). But I can't. So now, we are separated w/in our household... but it doesn't help the pain I feel. I still hear him getting drunk, and last night he even came around me being all lovey and apologetic. My heart can't take this anymore. I know that I can't be w/him, not under the same roof. His addiction to alcohol is tearing me apart and slowly destroying my... I am merely a shell of the woman I used to be. I'm fighting so hard to find the strength to turn my back on the man I love. I know I cannot help him. And at this point he doesn't even want to help himself. These 2 1/2 years have been a rollercoaster ride. It's just not fair! (I know that's ridiculous) Why won't he choose me over the booze! He wants to, I can see it in his eyes... but he is so lost w/in his tormented soul, I tried to be the one to encourage him to follow the light, but, I don't know... maybe he's too afraid to be w/out it. He's slowly killing himself and ruining his life. I feel so badly. I feel like I am abandoning him in his great time of need. But he won't listen to me; he won't even listen when the law involves itself. I feel so helpless. I know none of this is my fault, and I know there was never any way I could truly help him... it's all something he has to do for himself. But that didn't stop me for trying and supporting his fight against alcohol addiction. I feel so defeated. And now, now I find I must accept that I have to walk away from the man I love (the sober man -- I still see him [about 40% of the time]... and that's what makes this so hard -- I don't to lose him, I only want to lose the alcohol influenced part). What will it take to get through to this man? He is so far in denial that he CAN admit he has a drinking problem (even educate you and direct you to the literature), but denies certain details surrounding it and does little to fix it. Have you even known anyone like this? Tell me your story please. I need the support (and yes, I'm looking into al-anon).