ANSWERS: 26
  • If it was an accident and done unintentionally, then yes forgive. You both must be going through a hard time, I will keep you in my prayers. This is a deep question.
  • Absolutely. She must be devastated! That's awful. Certainly this was an accident. Poor woman.
  • OH! I am so sorry! I think you have to in order to get some closure about this. If you keep this grudge against her it will only fester on the inside of you, causing more pain. I can not imagine what you or she is going through. Surely this was unintentional. I too, will pray for you and your mother.
  • Please, please, please, get counseling for both you and your mom as soon as possible. Don't let the devastation, heartache and guilt go unchecked or they could overwhelm and destroy you both. Seriously. I'm so, so, sorry.
  • This is your first time on AB and it had better be a for real question! If it is true of course you forgive her!
  • I can't image the guilt your mother must be going through. It's got to be hard to forgive, but it is a key beginning step of healing...
  • If you don't forgive her, then you simply subjecting her to the same loss you are suffering, the loss of her child.
  • If it was unintentional, you may forgive her before she ever forgives herself. I agree with previous answers to get some counceling and fast. If she was drunk when it happened or intentional, that's a whole other story, but assuming it was an accident, she is regretting it every moment of every day. Her guilt has to be eating her up, just as the loss is always there before you.
  • im sure she didnt do it on purpose and she is probably hurting so much inside as you as im sure definately forgive her and remember the good times mabey even see a councillor if you think that would help i am so sorry for you loss.
  • to err is human, to forgive divine. i believe your mother would certainly not purposely run over your son, and it is tragic that such an accident has occurred to you, but i believe forgiveness would be vital, or she too will essentially lose a child
  • i am so sorry, that is very very tragic. And i can assure you, she did not do it on purpse, i don tthink anybody in their right mind could do that on purpose. You may find it hard to forigive her, but just think it wasnt on purpose, you will be terribly sad for the longest time. I would forgive her, even tho it would be very very difficult once again i am VERY sorry
  • The way i see it, assuming it was an accident. I think i would at some point forgive her. I think there would be tears and pain and thats something maybe you should be going through together. Im sure she is kicking herself, im sure she is extremley sorry and as others have said she may never forgive herself. But it would make it alot easier on both of you, if you could forgive her. Someone also said its a good idea for you both to seek counseling, i second this. It may help, but then again it may not be your thing. But really, she is your mother, she loves you and raised you and has cared for you. Its important for family to stick together.
  • My condolences to you and your family. I pray that you and your mother will find a way to overcome this terrible tragedy. I believe that forgiveness comes in time, you are going through the most dificult time in your life, i'm sure. I feel that if your mother did it un intentional then she is devestated to have caused you such pain, and in turn is probably breaking inside. just remember that your both going through something that can devestate a relashionship and if this relationship is worth saving then give it all you've got. My prayers are with you in this dificult time.
  • Find in your heart to forgive your mom she did not plan it. Forgiveness is very helpful for your well-being and your mom. I think both of you need each other more than ever. God bless you!
  • What a horrible thing. I cannot imagine how devastated you must be. But I beg you to try and reconcile with mum, as soon as possible. At least say the words of forgiveness. It is for yourself, for your son, and for her. It was an accident, and I am sure she is dying inside of guilt for something she never meant to happen. She has lost her grandson. Don't let her lose her daughter as well. Go for counselling, both individually and together. All the best. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • Unless she was driving under the influence or driving recklessly it probably wasn't her fault. I am sure that doesn't lessen your pain but think how she must feel. He was just your son he was her grandson. And she also has to live with the fact of how much pain she has caused her daughter. I agree with those who suggest counseling. If that isn't possible then maybe to can join a breavement group.
  • oh my god i am so sorry for your loss! i know you must hate your mum but you both need eachother right now im sure she didnt mean for it to happen as is devastated shes blaming herself enough for the both of you and you need to forgive her, you need her help and support over this difficult time i know every time you see her you will feel hate and anger but this is not good, please both of you get some help and learn to forgive her. again sorry for your loss, i can not imagine what you are going through x take care x
  • If she didn't mean to do it then yes i wold forgive her when people don't forgive others they hurt themselves as well as the other person it makes them bitter
  • oh my Im terribly sorry for your loss, um Im very sure she feels as low as can be, I can say yeah Id forgive her or no I couldn't, but I truly cannot say for I have not been in that position. Def try to forgive, accidents happen and this was a horrible accident but sadly what happened, happened and family needs to be together no matter what. Like I said tho I cannot say either way fully for I am not in your shoes. I do offer my deepest condolences for your loss.
  • you are in my prayers,
  • oh my im so so sorry for the both of you .i would suggest that you both get some help it has devastated both of you and togeater you can both help one another
  • I'm sorry. She did not do it on purpose. Put yourself in her shoes & how would you feel? I'll pray for you that someday you will be strong enough to forgive her.
  • If it was an accident I could forgive my mother. I would also recommend that you and your mom talk to someone professional to help deal with all the feelings and hurt. My Grandpa ran over his daughter when she was 2 years old. My grandma told me how hard it was to deal with it and my grandpa still will not talk about it. The best thing is definately to find a way to talk about it and remember the good things about your son and I am so sorry and my prayers are with you and your family.
  • my mother one day baby sat for me. she always baby sat for me. on sept 6th 2008 she was watching my 2 children mallory 2yr old and my beloved emily 18 month old. emily had woken up from a nap and my mom laid her back down in her toddler bed thst was in my room. well emily didn't go back to bed instead she climbed on my bed unsupervised and strangled her self with our mini blind cord. my mother found her. she was by herself for 20 minutes or less. I DO NOT BLAME MY MOTHER..things happen for a reason there is nothing anyone could do or have done to change the fact.. I put into peace of mind that she (her spirit) is still with me and will be to the day i die and see her beautiful smiling face in person again. do the same with your child. there was an experience here where i live....this guy was leaving for work and his wife was outside with the kids she didn't pay attention to where both her kids were and her husband backed over there 20 month old daughter....point is your mother all ready has enough guilt.... support eachother thru this terrible time . sorry about your loss...GOD BLESS
  • as a grandmother I can not imagine what your mom is going through let alone you. Yes please get counseling and though you will never ever forget (either will she) you may be able to eventually forgive. Losing a child must be the ultimate grief. I am so sorry for you and all involved. I know in my heart, your baby is in heaven with the angels. Time heals but it is very slow. There are support groups with people who are going through or have gone through what you are going through. Maybe there is one in your area. Take Care.
  • My condolences. I lost my 4 yr daughter on June 26, 2008. Its okay to listen to advice from others, but take in the positive feedback from other parents who have lost. 2 different parents still have anger and hurt over 5 yrs since and shared that with me and my husband but 2 other different parents shared their experience and present-day feelings with us. I am fortunate to have a supporting family, friends, and loving husband, but seek counseling and support groups. I pray you reach the level of forgiveness with your mother that will give you peace. My husband still holds anger towards the doctors for not helping heal my daughter's illness or trying to resuccitate her. Find your religion if you have one, it will aid in healing.

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