I love my boyfriend. I want to be with him, but I don't want to be in a relationship. I tried telling him that but he took it as I wanted to break up with him. I don't have the heart to bring it up again, I don't want to hurt him! What should I do?
by 
Corderbollie
ANSWERS: 9
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not quite sure by what you mean.. if i were him i would assume the same
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If all you want is a sex buddy, then go over there, have sex, leave.
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I'm sorry, but I would take that as a break up too. If you aren't in a relationship, you're either married (which is still really a relationship), sex buddies, or friends. And that (other than marriage) means you can date other people. It means you're single. It means you aren't together and therefore broken up. Unless you can explain better to me, I can't help I'm afraid.
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If you want to be with him, you *are* in a relationship with him. Just not a conventional relationship. If he wants a conventional relationship, it is cruel to play him along. If he and you want an unconventional relationship, carry on. But talk it out fully first - agree what it is you both are, and are not, offering each other. And research "polyamory".
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I think the word love is enormously overused. If you loved him, rather than just enjoying his company occasionally you would want to be in a relationship. I think you should analyse your feelings and also analyse his, because it sounds as though he may genuinely be in love with you. He needs to know that you are not in love with him so that he can decide what he does next.
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Are you saying you don't want to be limited to being with just him? If so, he is letting you know that that is unacceptable to him and he'd rather be without you. You have already hurt him. Leave him alone.
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If you dont want to be in a relationship you shouldnt have a boyfriend! what should you do? tell the guy, it might hurt a little bit..but better now than later when he has a bigger investment in the relationship that you are having.
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Either way............you're hurting him and I bet he's CoNfUsEd as hell. I give you kudos for being honest though. Either way, breaking up or not, your not making this relationship a priority and thats hurtful. Good luck to you.
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i dont totally get what your after. If you love him, and want to be with him... then you should be in a relationship.. It depends what your definition of "relationship" is. For me its just knowing that you love each other and respecting each other (meaning staying faithful). Nothing more. Its not like a huge commitment if you love them...
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