I can't speak for you situation but I think there are many religious and cultural reasons. My husband's grandfather who was Puerto Rican was a run around who let his wife raise the five children and he still enjoyed having his women on the side and no plans of leaving or divorcing his wife. He carried on when his wife passed away in 1982. Until the day he died, all he talked about is going to heaven to be with Carmen. In my mind, this was kind of fucked up, pardon my French. He didn't want to be around her much in life but wanted to be with her in death. Go figure. When his ashes sat in a funeral home for 3 years, I clamined them and then sprinkled them upon her cemetery plot so he could "be with her". I don't believe either are in heaven, but he is close to her for the past five years. My own grandfather a non-practing Jew cheated on his wife. He was having fun screwing around with his secretary on the job. They should have divorced but never did. My grandmother took a trip to California in 1967 and died of a heart attack. After that he married he secretary and then she made the rest of his life misearable. He deserved it.

Some men seem to have the desire for a double life and to fool people. It's some sort of sickness.

I could not agree with you more Marisol. I think men who mess around on their wives or partners are the biggest scum of the earth and the other woman is almost as big of a piece of scum as the guy doing the cheating. Unless of course she had no way of knowing. but that is no excuse because you would have to be real stupid not to put all the clues together and figure out a guy weas married or had someone else he was involved with. I feel if a man or a woman for that matter is that miserable in a relationship and feels that there is nothing to work out then he should have the balls to be a man and leave. Cheating is the worst thing anyone can do to someone they are supposed to love and care about. I didn' t fully answer the question so here it goes now. Men who cheat stay in their marriage many times for very selfish reasons. Some like having the best of both worlds. Thery like having a wife to cook and clean and do their laundry and ironing for them while they get their rocks off with the side bimbo. There are some who do it for financial reasons. They know if they divorce her she will take them to the cleaners financially and it is cheaper to stay with wifey and play with the little sliut on the side than it is to be a man and leave even if it does cost you a fortune to get divorced. Then there are the assholes who feel that they have every right to move on with their lives but can't stand the thought of their wife getting a new man and the possibility of their kids calling someone else daddy so they stay and make wifey's life miserable until the kids are all grown and off on their own.

Such a man is in, “want of heart” .He has shown to be “inexperienced,” “foolish,” lacking in wisdom. By behaving is such a way, he shows that positive qualities of his whole inner person are deficient. He has certain “issues”. It does not say anything necessarily about the woman that he once loved and promised to be loyal to when he married her. He needs to examine his own heart and reflect upon what made him love his wife in the first place? What do his children mean to him? Once he has found those answers, then perhaps he can stop his selfish, self destructive course and apply himself in rebuilding his family relationships.

My thoughts are they are simply cowards who want their cake and eat it too. I agree with "killdrphil" they get a rush off living a double life that they feel no one is aware of. It reminds me of a person on crack. If you have ever seen them walking down the street so confident as if no one can tell their on crack when in actuality the whole world sees and the whole world is acting as judge and jury and has condemned them on sight. like I said I'm no philosopher this is just my take - i'm just a woman on the outside looking in. Hang in there ladies...

My high school sweetheart emailed me to tell me he has always loved me. The feeling is mutual. I am divorced and he is 1000 miles aways...This is an affair of the heart with a deep freindship. He told his wife about me a year ago and she had a terrible reaction to the news emotionally and physcially. This surprised my sweetheart cuz when he told her many years ago that he wanted to go back home when he retired, she told him to go ahead, she hated it there and if he wanted a divorce that would be fine with her...So he expected her to let him go...Of course she does not remember saying that...Sad how we say things to others that hurt them so and we don't remember...Anyway he keeps promising he will leave as soon as she gets stronger. He is convinced she will. I am not, However there will never be anyone else for me, so I will wait... I would never believe any other man, but I have known him since I was 15 and he is a good man and I hope he is right...It isn't always about cheating..Sometimes people just marry the wrong person. Any Comments? Lady in Waiting..

I think they stay cause they have no self esteem and fear of another relationship goes downhill...So its cheaper to keep her and fool around on the side

First of all, I believe that when a man cheats on his girlfriend/spouse; the spark is no longer there and the chances are that they are no longer in love with their wife or is not in love with their partner. In the case of partner; a man may meet a woman at the time most needed; when another relationship did not work out. He may not have been or in love with her, but she was there at the right time. He may like her and feel obligated to her; and he does not want to be the bad guy here and thinks that doing the right thing is to marry eventually so that he looks good. This sort of action can stem from a low self esteem or as one put's it 'weak person' that cannot say no or 'hurt' the woman. So he marries her, not in love to her and then continues looking elsewhere. It is unfortunate that some women have to deal with a man using her on a rebound basis. I think that not just men, but women need some form of counseling after a 'bad relationship' before looking to start a new one. This would help alot of relationships today.

I don't know if any of addressed my comment but if you did, you did not undertand the question. Its always that men are jerks..Never does anyone think that maybe they can love and feel too. They can't be all bad. Some people just marry and then later meet their soul mate. I don't think anyone should stay in a marriage when they love someone else. Its not fair to anyone. Thats my thoughts..

There have lots of answers as to why they're not happy. Do they feel bad coming home to their wives? Some probably do, but there are just as many who have felt bad about coming home long before they decided to seek affection elsewhere. Why do they stay? M-O-N-E-Y There are lots of guys who are paying dearly to a woman they never cheated on, who never gave them anything but grief. Before you jump on with claws extended: I realize that not every divorced woman precipitated the hostlities by witholding affection/sex, but there are plenty who have. No matter what legal,above board thing a jilted husband does in that situation, he's going to pay. There's no reason, other than a moral one, for him not to see how much he can get away with.

Because they're wishy washy wimps, or they wank to "have their cake and eat it, too" as the expression goes. I think if you fall in love with someone else when you're married, no matter how hard it is, it's best to tell your wife/husband about it and divorce. Alternately, if you just want to have sex with other people -- propose an open relationship. Sometimes it may turn out that your partner wants to pursue one too. If they are against it, however, it's better either to divorce or not have sex with other people...

I don't think that they are unhappy in their marriage...I think that they are just much happier with a girl on the side along with their marriage, and they believe they can get away with it. I think they have moments where they feel bad about it, like when they have a really loving moment with either girl, but in the end, they love themselves the most. I have experience with this.