If i decide to leave for a while(not divorce) just get away to clear my head and see what i really want out of life how do i go about it? i don't want her to hate me for it but i want her to take time to consider what shes done(2 Affairs). please help.
by 
hunter18
ANSWERS: 8
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You can separate (live somewhere else - by yourself or with a family member), without being divorced. If she's had two affairs, it seems like the smart thing to do. While you're at it, make sure you get a separation agreement drawn up by a lawyer. No offense, but if she's had two affairs, I wouldn't be too concerned about her starting to hate you... she's already shown that she has no respect for you or your marriage.
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I would decide to divorce her. I'm sorry 1 affair isn't tolerable :) But if you want to give it some thought before you decide anything just tell her you need to get away for a while to think about things.
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I hate to say this but I would divorce her....she has disrespected you and caused you pain. People in love don't do that. You are deserving of so much more....
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ok if i leave whats the best way to explain that to our 4yr old? i meam this shouldn't be so hard because the only thing we have in common at this point is the love for our son. when were home we just sit there and not say a word to one another. i know this is partially my fault but thats just how it is right now. i just need to figure out what and how to do this because it is killing me mentally and physically. i did tell her i needed space but she says that means divorce because she couldn't trust me if we were apart(wierd huh since she is the onw who cheated). thanks everyone,
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Don't let her control you. Be empathetic to her feelings but be firm... not only does she need to consider her actions but you need to make sure how you feel and let the pain heal a little. If you can do this you can be a better parent to your child no matter what the outcome. What to say to your child? That Mommie and Daddy love him very much but need to think about some things. That's all. None of this is a great situation but you need to make your peace with yourself and your decisions with or without your wife. Some people can forgive and not harbor anger however it would be perfectly understandable if this was not the case. Hopefully you will both come to the same conclusion and work together whether it's going to counseling and working things out or divorce. Either way it's going to be hard and it will get worse before it gets better, many times when you least expect it. Make sure you open up to the ones you love and have a support system in place. Best wishes for a good outcome.
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I think it's time to leave permanently. One affair, you can try to work out. I think the second tells you pretty much all you need to know. Just sitting there every night and not talking, is not good for your child. Get out, and put all your focus on your child.
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sorry dude she has had her second chance If I was you I would walk permenantly. She has already proven herself on 2 seperate occasions not to be trustworthy. How many time is enough for you. You know there's a saying about cheaters. Cheat on me once shame on you cheat on me twice shame on me. It is time to find someone worthy of your love and affection who knows how to keep her legs closed for everyone else other than her man.
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let me explain alittle more about the affairs so you guys can understand my situation better. the 1st affair was 7yrs ago but i just found out about it 7 months ago. it was physical with my ex-best friend now and lasted 7 or 8 months. the 2nd one was an emotional affair(so she says). it lasted well over a year and just ended in jan 07(only because i caught her). does the kind of or length of time since make any difference because she thinks so. she is mad at me right now because she says i flirted with her friend last week. just some more insight on my situation. thanks,
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