Why will you have to deal with her at all? Any communication about the child should be between your husband and the child's mother.

Let your husband take it up with a lawyer...he has rights and the lawyer will see that he gets them.

if i were you i would take a step back and let my husband deal with her. you will have a part to play in his sons life when he cmes to visit etc but you dont need to have contact with your husbands ex. i know its a difficult situaton because my best friend was in the same situation aswell. good luck with the wedding

Any disagreement regarding visitation have to be resolved by a lawyer and the family courts. You shouldn't have to handle the ex at all. If she is giving you a bad time when she drops off the boy,(or you pick him up) try to arrange to make the exchange in a public place such as a park or restaurant.

I can understand your situation. I have a step son as well. Unless your fiance/husband asks for your input, help or opinion on anything regarding his son, you shouldn't get involved. There may be an occasion where you will have to involve yourself but that should be if the situation has a direct impact upon your household or on you directly. When a situation arises, talk to you fiance about it and let him handle it. But, make it clear to him that if it is not handled that you will have to do it. I wish that I could give you more advise but it's not easy to give advice on a situation like this because not all situations are the same. Good luck and congrats on your upcoming marriage.

Tell her my story. That I acted like a bitch that my daughters father decided it was too much aggravation to see her. If I could I would tell all the ex wives to kiss their ex husbands butt & do whatever it took no matter how low they had to grovel at their ex husbands feet, to do it so he'd be part of their kids lives.

If the woman has any sense & you're good to her child, she'd welcome someone else loving that child

My solution would be to befriend her. With your fiance's knowledge, I would call her or arrange a visit/family meeting and explain that everything that has happened before is in the past, you and her ex have a future together and you will all be tied together FOREVER because of mutual children. Apologize for your own behavior or past misdeeds if needed. Tell her you want to make it as painless as possible and that as adults, all three of you should be acting in the best interests of said children. Agree to let the past be water under the proverbial bridge and ask for a fresh start. Tell her that you want her son to feel comfortable when he visits his dad and you, and hopefully the children can have some meaningful sibling relationship as well. You can catch alot more niceness from a bitchy ex with niceness than you can with threats, retribution, or attorneys!

Well, I am in nearly the exact same situation. My boyfriend has a 4 year old daughter that we only see 3 or 4 times a year since her mom is such a bitch. She always makes excuses why we can never see Madison (his daughter) she's sick, she has Sunday School, she has an ear infection, she's at her grandparents' for the weekend, blah, blah. Then she goes around telling all of our 'mutual friends' that he is a crappy father and doesn't ever see his daughter. My boyfriend got so tired of dealing with the bitch we pretty much just gave up for now. His ex is very sick all the time with diabetes. She is not allowed to drive and cannot hold a job for long...when my boyfriend and I get married we just plan to get a lawyer and go for permanent full custody. Is that an option for you guys?

Often the naturual mother feels threatened by the step mother. (and vise versa) Be aware of the post-divorce family culture that was established prior to making changes to the childrens routins, places they shop, etc. If the father wasn't involved prior to you, then the children shouldn't be forced to start coming over regularly to suit what you think is right. Even if you think the mother is a lousy parent - those children love her and will always love her no matter how rotten. You will shoot yourself in the foot if you try to compete for the kids. Most importantly the only looser is THE CHILDREN. The kids already went through the loss of thier family unit - please don't rehash it again in a custody battle. The kids should respect you and respect your house rules but make sure they aren't so different than what was already at dad's house. It's really up to the adults to suck it up and make it appear ok between all the adults. I am a step-parent to 3 girls. My 2 children have a step-mother. I STUDY family psychology at the University of Houston.

You handle her very gently. Ask for no favors at all; but when the time comes be sure to go out of your way to her her a favor. Keep a private record of each of her nutty or vicious actions. Keep the record as each incident occurs. don't think that you can write them all down next week or even tomorrow. The courts look very favorably on contemporaneous notes. Don't tell her that you are keeping these notes. Use them when the times comes. Do not ever argue with her. When your rrights are determined b the courts be sure that you get the child back on time, bathed, fed, and looking nice. (Unless Mom has plans to take child to dinner, of course) Be as perfect as you can--and NO ARGUING. Give in. Never, NEVER say anything negative about her mom to the child.Never! you must be upbeat, positive, friendly. Even though mother is an evil bitch.

Hi, Don't worry all the ex-wife's are like that they're just jelous. She's trying to ruin your relationship. Just ignore her and make sure you tell her that your are the present and she is the past. Oh don't forget to tell her "BITCH". I can't handle stand like her I Know somebody like her. Her name is Yolanda Quesada. and she's the worst. You have to be really smart with this kind of people they're so hurt that their ex is with you that they try anything to destroy your relationship.

I know Ex's are a real pain in the ass. From my experience I've found it is best for your own sanity not to get too involved. Let your other half deal with the ex. A good idea for you is to have minimal contact with the ex and when you do be polite, calm and dignified at all times. Yeah a very big call but you will be the better person for it! Try to think of win-win solutions where everyone benefits. If she is not reasonable with sorting out arrangements between you then there are always lawyers that can put visitation rights in place.

Frankly I don't see why you should have to deal with the child's mother at all. Your husband will have to talk with her and set up visitation times with her. Just let him take care of his responsibilities.Staying away from the phone calls and fighting will make it less stressful for all of you. My child's step mother is interfering way too much and I don't know why she is trying to control everything except for the fact that my child's father wouldn't know what to do without her stepping in. I have met her and talked with her a few times but it is hard to have a relationship with her when we are going through custody arrangements too.They keep making up things about us and pry into the kids lives way too much trying to dig for something that they can hit me with. I am a very caring mother who helps a lot of children in the community that don't get the support from their parents that they need. The father and stepmother run a rough life and blame everyone else for their mistakes. I know it is very hard for the step parents to step back when the arguing is going on (my husband has to) but I feel that it is between the two of us to work out issues. I am not saying you shouldn't have any part in the child's life but just stay out of the drama if possible. Don't let her bring your husband down. Be good to him and let him see that he is with you now and he can count on you for support.You may want to think twice about the life you are going to be entering also. I warned my husband and now he's been by my side dealing with the ex's crap ever since we got married.It never ends. Maybe wait until the custody issues get settled before you marry him.

This is a little late, but still useful. http://previews.tinyurl.com/StepFamilies