Why do psychologists and their associated professions typically say ''I hear you'' a lot? Isn't this a bit patronising and infuriating for the person they're talking to?
by 
Carmella
ANSWERS: 8
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Not if they REALLY mean it. Unfortunately, those three little words have gotten cliche, and don't mean a whole lot anymore by most people.
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Yes. I hear you. I really, really hear you. Sally
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They do this in an effort to draw you out. They are trained to ask open ended questions and not interject personal beliefs. It's all about getting you to talk. And professionally they're not supposed to give you answers to anything. They want you to come to conclusions about the course of action you should take. They do offer self examination exercises. Again, it's designed to help you "find" yourself. This is only my opinion.
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Well, not if someone is actually centered and listening. If it's just some technique that they're running on autopilot, yes I think that would become tedious. An important part of a therapist's role is to "just be present" with whatever is going on with the client. Obviously that includes listening attentively, and if they're listening attentively that will usually manifest as occasional acknowledgments of what was said. But if they're not listening attentively, if they're actually wandering off and thinking about how to improve their golf swing or whether to raise hourly rates, they may try to simulate presence with some sort of automated behavior. THAT deserves a good smack from the client! :)
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Carmella- Honestly, I don't believe they mean it when they say that.... Sounds somewhat like jargon to me with no true investment. In my own former clinical work, I offered solution oriented therapy and at others times simply "bore witness" to client issues, with total attention, focus and "being-ness". I also taught mediation (to adolescents) with a high degree of effectivness.
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I've never been to a psychologist but I do know that I've had it said to me and I have said it to others and in neither circumstances did I feel as though I were being patronized nor was it my intention to be patronizing. What I have meant by it is..."your concerns are valid and I understand where you are coming from"..as simple as that. But what my intention is and how you perceive the meaning of the words I choose to use is oftentimes the basis for disagreements and misunderstandings..words mean different things to different people based on the baggage we all carry, the experiences we have had. That's why we need to try to work things out and keep trying to get beyond the superficial barriers that words sometimes put in front of us.
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Yes I think so. They are just saying what they have been trained is the appropriate thing to say at uni or whereever they 'trained'. To me on some levels it is very unreal and unemotional. However I think it is important to be heard.
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I suppose its better than saying nothing!
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