My 13 year old stepdaughter tells me her that her mother is physically and verbally abusive, should I say anything to her father (my husband)? I can be honest and say that I do not want her to live with us, because of her mental and emotional status.
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 9
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When you married her father, she comes along with the deal. It would be quite selfish to not allow her to live with you and allow her to remain in an abusive home.
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you should definitely say something to her father and probably to CPS as well. she is 13, if someone doesn't help her and protect her NOW her mental and emotional status will only get worse. not wanting her to live with you is selfish and borderline abuse, neglect is a form of abuse.
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You have an obligation to tell her father - any child who reports being abused should be listened to and the allegations should be officially investigated. Unlike other members who have answered, I don't believe that you are doing anything wrong in not wanting her to live with you. If she has medical problems (and mental/emotional problems are medical problems), she needs medical care and your home might noit provide the best refuge for her. Good luck and I hope everything works out well for everyone.
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This really a problem. You say she has emotional and mental problems and that makes me wonder if she is making this up in hopes of living with you, or is the mother really abusive. I strongly recommend not taking a 13 yr old on her word. Sit down with her father and explain what she has said and discuss your concerns about her.
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Talk with your husband. And then as best as you can, love this child. Any kid that suffers from a divorce is probably not going to have it all together, and needs the adults to be a rock even though it may be very difficult for the time being. Dad should be very much there for her when he's not working. A natural setting like the woods can do wonders to help with the drama if there's a willingness to change the environment. Try to get to the point where she'll open up for her to express her feelings in order to exhaust her mental and emotional status. In a word, care.
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You should have a discussion with her father. And perhaps all she needs is a healthy living enviroment for her health status to improve.
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you are in a tough situation. You Must have a discussion with your husband for the benefit of this teen. She is coming to you because she trusts you and she may very well be being abused. If you are afraid that she will want to live with you than that is a bridge you will have to cross when it comes time. You can set rules and boundries before she comes to live with you that she must obey or be placed somewhere else. She if not is already receiving help can locate a mental health professional in your area. Good luck and remember, time will pass, she will be on her own before you know it.
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In some jurisdictions you are legally required to report what you know to the authorities, and can be prosecuted if you don't. You may want to check this out with a lawyer, but only as a hypothetical situation because telling the lawyer may create in him an obligation to report (yes, yes, I am aware of client privilege).
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You have to talk to your husband. Not only to help the child but if it is true and it all blows up. Dad may not be so happy with you for not allowing him to help and protect his child.
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