Why is turning this back on you? All of a sudden you are the one apologizing? Don't sound right to me.

I want to know what made you so sure he was cheating? If you went as far as to call some girl you must have been pretty sure! Are you always this compulsive? See I'm thinking this could be his out! Just because she told you they weren't seeing each other doesn't make it TRUTH. So before you go begging him back, make sure you know all the facts. So get back to me and let me know the low.

I'm the one who posted the question...It wont let me comment on the page! Lets say my name is Sally and my boyfriends name is Bill. And his female room mate...lets call her Lucy. Bill and Lucy were living together in Alabama, as room mates Bill says...I met Bill off the internet. He flew 3,000 miles to be with me. Everything was perfect until he started getting love letters in the mail from Lucy. I shouldnt have read the first one but I was curious and I dont think before I act...I read it...Lucy was confessing her love and how she missed him. It didnt sound like they were just room mates to me! I asked him about it and he said again that they were only room mates and NOTHING happened between them. And then he got pissed at me for going through his stuff. He threatened to leave but decided to stay cuz "he loved me". Well since I didnt believe his story...I started checking the browser history on the internet. He had been checking out have naked chicks and commenting on them with things like "wow! smokin hot! I love what I see!" That would bother ANY girl! I confronted him about that too. He said he was only doing it to make them feel better about themselves. Stupid answer...So I emailed Lucy and had her call me so we could talk...Some of the things she said made sense...But others didnt. It was kinda half and half. It wasnt enough to decide who was telling the truth. Bill kept telling me that Lucy was psycho. I thought it was a cover up...But then she wouldnt stop emailing, texting and calling me to make sure I was ok...Ok about what? She even called a sheriff to my door front and said that Bill had threatened to kill me...Which he did not! Sometimes I believe him and other times I dont...I dont really know what to believe anymore. I'm so confused...Theres still more to the story...But I lost my train of thought....

I'm going to be honest with you Bill and Lucy are both liars. And you are now caught up in a sick love triagle with two psychos. I'll lay money that their relationship was way more then just roommates. I'll bet they have done this to other girls as well. They are scamming you. You that you did the right thing looking into him because now you know the truth about what kind of man he is. And that's nothing more then a liar and a cheat who uses women for his own ego boost. I'm also going to bet that in time he will not only cheat on you with someone over the net, but he will start to abuse you too because he sounds like a sociopath with a pornaddiction. Guys who love their partners do not go onto porn sights and leave messages for other women. He's looking for his next victem since once he leaves a post they can now contact him if they want to. As for him telling you that now he can't trust you. That's a gimmick to put the blame for his bad acts on you. That is also the sign of soemone with a sexual pshycosis since he will blame everyone, but himself. As for Lucy she's more then likely a scorned lover who is now using you to get back at him or make you leave him so they can go back to thier sick relationship. Most of the stuff she told you was more then likely true, but elaborated to make it worse. But honestly, it was all bad to begin with. I can lay money he did to her what he's doing to you now. Take her "concerns" as a warning and get out. I'm going to tell you straight up you have no reason to feel guilty or sorry for what you did becasue I'll bet that before you looked at the letter you had some warning signs already or you wouldn't have looked. This is not a man deserving of your love an dyou need to get out while th egettings good. I would also advise you to have a full STD screening done because I'll lay money he brought more then himself to your bed.

That's what i thought! You were right! Always trust your instinct!, Always! Honey, go home! Just go home. Leave as fast as you can, the guy is no good! I know it's hard now, but it will get better. NOW for your safety get the hell away from him!! I wish i could help you more, there no time to talk, leave!!! If you were my daughter i would walk to get you! Is there anyone who can help you? Call someone in your family!! Be safe!! Get--------Go---------------Don't look back! I'll be praying for you. (((((((((HUG))))))))))))

I think your boyfriend is up to something, you told him you are sorry for accusing him of something you think did not happen and he wants to leave. I think you should leave him because it seems to me that if he wants to leave you for a mistake you made, that obviously means he wanted to leave you long ago.

These two are both liars, i think something did happen between them or else she wouldn't be behaving in that sort of manner. You should leave his sorry ass or he is going to leave.

Why are you apologising and begging a person that is very obviously a liar and a cheat to forgive you. Take a hold of your self respect and throw the lieing scammer out on his keister.

I don't think he was telling the truth. They are both going to cover their a$$es when it comes to being confronted. Denial is always the first thing out of people's mouths when it comes to infidelity. Also, check out the body language. If he blinks a lot or avoids eye contact, he's lying. http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies.php

Well, answering your Q as it reads, here's my response: Time. Time is the only thing that heals lost trust in a relationship. That being said, here's my advice; chances are you are not far off in your suspicions that he is cheating. Female instincts, I have found, are usually pretty accurate. If he truly loves and respects you he should be able to understand that you were feeling things were a bit "off". Stating that he no longer trusts you is a BIG red flag to me. Flipping things around to appear that they are your fault is classic behavior for someone who is looking for an out. Forget that you love him (I know that sounds difficult) and take a step back and take a long, hard look at your situation. If a girlfriend came to you with this same information, what would you tell her? There are A LOT of great guys out there who do not cheat nor manipulate...perhaps it's time for you to let this one go so that your heart is available when you find him. Good luck...

I was guilty of the same exact thing about three years ago. Friends and foes would all make comments (in great detail) about my boyfriend sleeping around on me. He could never keep his story straight, but he always insisted that he did not cheat. I also never had any hard evidence that he did. Instead of breaking up because it was becoming unhealthy, I kept a tight leash on him and became overbearing. The more I did that though, the more he wanted his space. It took me a while to realize that when you do not behave possessively, your spouse does not have the desire to cheat. Cheating normally comes from someone wanting to leave, but not having the guts to do it. In sum, you do not need to prove anything. You need to let your leash loose and explain to him that you no longer want to stress the both of you out by worrying about these things. Relationships are NOT meant to be miserable. (End of my story: I loosened the leash and he proposed to me ... and never heard a bad rumor again.)

In general terms, you can gain his trust back by proving to him that you trust him. If you don't trust him, you can't gain his trust back and you shouldn't bother trying until you come to trust him. If you think he's undeserving of your trust, you'll have to have a heart-to-heart with him. As for proving to him that you trust him--if you do--that will be according to him as a person. I mean, I don't know how you can prove that to him, because it depends on his individuality.

as a 38 yr old male who has had a ton of relationships.......if you have something in the back of your mind that your partner is cheating, they may be......but, not all guy's are cheaters....i have never lied to or cheated on a gal in my life......if your guy is still in the picture, you need to talk to him......

What's a believing lie?

uh, HE can't trust YOU? what have you done to break the trust? Sounds to me like he's playing with your mind.