ANSWERS: 1
  • Emotional intelligence is not a prerequisite for living in any given society. It helps people cope who have been traumatized by the raw side of life. But for those who have more fortitude, it's nothing more than a Politically Correct interference in his own life. If the weaker members of society expect the stronger members to alter their lifestyle and practice "emotional intelligence" just so they can show empathy for those who can't take care of themselves, then the weaker members of society become a burden on everyone else.
    • Shadow
      Are you saying I’m weak? It is very human to have an emotional connection with those close to you. Not many people understand where I am coming from with this. It takes heart to show empathy and not many people who I know of have what it takes to show empathy. I have very low expectations of people. Those who are insensitive to emotions and lacking in empathy are depressing to be around with. It takes empathy to have a proper relationship with someone because it’s a two way street. Empathy is a human strength and not a weakness like some people think. A nice and caring person has a sense of empathy. It doesn’t take muscles to be a strong person. It’s within the heart that counts
    • Army Veteran
      Let me share something with you (you can verify any of this if you wish). Between 1895 and 1939, you could pick up any newspaper and read stories like "6,000,000 Jews are being persecuted and threatened with extermination unless you donate money to help them". Now, this isn't any kind of attempt to bring Jews into a debate for any reason. I mention it because it was a sympathy campaign designed to exploit people's emotional response - "feel sorry for the Jews...send them money - sent US money so we can help them." In over 40 years of feeding on a steady diet of those claims, an awful lot of people became conditioned to support a campaign that was mostly propaganda. Yes, there were Jews that were being treated badly. But in 40 years, the only thing that changed about the claims was the location (country) the mistreatments were taking place in. The number "6,000,000" never changed, the "persecution" never changed, and the "threatened extermination" never changed. The only other thing that changed was that the political entity running the campaign kept getting richer. What I'm saying here is no reflection of any kind on the Jews - it's being said as an example of how sympathy can be used so easily to manipulate the behavior of people. History is full of examples of how Jews were hated in every country they lived in - and yet, the world was manipulated into sending them vast amounts of money for "support". Does that make any sense? It's a contradiction in logic. Yet, it is a documented fact. Now here you are expressing yourself about how emotions are so important in society. Yes, emotions are important - but they're not the priority that most of today's society claims them to be. Since the Barack/Michael Obama administration, Political Correctness seems to have shifted into high gear. Masculinity is disappearing fast in favor of "gender-neutral", "identify as whatever you want", teaching kids in school that they can undergo sexual reassignment surgery if they want (but they're too young to make decisions that affect their own well-being - such as voting in an election)...men used to throw steaks on the backyard barbecue - now they ask the waitress at their local eatery if they have rotisserie chicken. And they "vape". We're being herded into a disgusting world because people won't stand up for themselves - they can't. Everything offends them too easily. It's a good thing they have friends with emotional intelligence to comfort them.
    • Shadow
      I understand what you’re saying about the Jews and personally I have nothing against them. They have been wronged and I feel so sorry for them. I know what you are saying about manipulation but that’s not me. I like to be genuinely caring and have a heart. Some people can be manipulative which is wrong. To be honest I don’t care about what society say and their priorities. Society in some parts of the world have expectations of people so they can follow their rules. I say screw those priorities. Mental health comes first and then to be able to have proper relationships. Each person needs to be their number one priority and with personal development be able to prioritise other things. People who come in groups like society for instance don’t think about the individual. They think in groups because that’s what a psychological bully is like. If they get the chance to ruin a person’s individuality making them become “one of us” that would be evil. I like to see people stand up for themselves and not take crap from anyone but still be able to have a sense of heart and empathy if that makes sense
    • Army Veteran
      Every time you refer to someone who offends you as "the bully", you are making yourself the victim. QUOTE: "If you hold a permanent view of yourself as a victim, you become your own oppressor." - Candace Owens. I don't know how old you are, but I can pick up on how the societal shift toward Political Correctness has had a profound effect on you. Many people actually believe that the right to not be offended is in the Constitution. People are constantly being told, "it's not your fault". If you're overweight "it's not your fault"...if you have acid reflux "it's not your fault". So, at what point do people start taking responsibility for themselves? Young people have been coddled too much over the past few decades to the point that they can't handle reality without prescribed medications. Now, I don't know exactly how much of this pertains to you, but if it hits a nerve or two, maybe it's time for you to do a little reflection and decide what kind of person you want to be. I agree that emotions and empathy have their time and place - but not to the extent that they control a person's life. When you reach this point, the problem isn't "bullies" and it isn't that "not enough people have emotional intelligence". The problem sits on the other side of the table.
    • Shadow
      When I refer to someone as a bully it’s not that I am offended by them. I’m talking about people who do wrong to others around them because of their evil and cruel nature and the psychological damage they cause to others. That’s what I mean by someone being a bully and it can mean someone who physically hurts another person. They obviously have problems and contribute to the problems of the world. Of course some people are offensive but that’s not the case here as to what I’m trying to say. Everyone is someone’s victim in a way when you think about it because there will always be someone who has done wrong in someone else’s life. I will be 40 this Sunday so now you know my age. Your response has not hit a nerve in any way. The world has full of psychopaths and sociopaths with emotional issues and lacking in emotional intelligence probably because the way they were raised or the negative impact others had on them
    • Army Veteran
      Believe it or not, around the year you were born I was involved in a relationship that left me as passive as you are. I was fine with the rest of the world, but where my relationship was concerned, she took every bit of dignity I had. My solution was to run away - I sought comfort from family and friends and often had to travel as much as a thousand miles where I had distant family living. So I understand where you're coming from. Unfortunately, when you're overly passive about everything in your life, you can't run away. Your only choices are to accept everything as it is or "grow up" (I think I've used this term before - now you understand how I meant it) and defend yourself. Now you can say that you don't like the way things are all you want. But there's a saying that goes "either shit or get off the pot". Do something to change your situation or stop complaining about it. It's long been said that a person can take just so much and they'll do something about it when they've had enough. Apparently, you haven't had enough to do something about changing yourself. Sitting on the sidelines and complaining about how others treat you is more preferable - it's "safer". All you have to do is justify it. The 1970s was a great time in life - the music was awesome, the girls were second to none, and life was much simpler. But you wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes at the high school I went to. Not that it was violent in any way because it wasn't. It was a small town school that hosted a "Future Farmers of America" chapter. But kids are quick to pick up on things and they exploit other kids' weaknesses. You wouldn't have had a chance. Dude, you can say all you want that "everyone else has a problem" - and though you may be right looking at it from your perspective unless you can do something about it, you're doing nothing but blowing smoke in your own face. No one else cares what you think and your willingness to be victimized does nothing to benefit you. Stand up and be somebody - you don't want to stay a puppy your whole life.
    • Shadow
      It sounds like you have experience with some things more than me since you are older than I am. I’m sorry to hear about how you were treated and what you went through in your life. It sounds like you had it rough in life but you’ve moved on which is good. Focus on the now and don’t think about a hurtful past. I do know how to defend myself from people who will attempt to mess with my head but I don’t let anyone in my head anymore so as I don’t get stressed out. My defence mechanism is to do with my way of thinking and not get involved with people’s mind. Everyone is entitled to their own head space. Eventually I will take action to move on from certain things. My personal struggles are to do with people’s wrongdoings towards me. I think everyone’s struggles are mainly based on the same things as mine. I am aware it’s only for the good to take action and move on. With some people like myself it can take some time to change our situation with support and advice from family and friends. Some people can do things to change their situation more quickly than others while those with depression for instance may take longer. I have had enough of certain people the way I get treated with insensitivity. I don’t want to stay a puppy my whole life but I will get tough when things get too ruff. Some kids who are bullies are scared inside of themselves which they don’t realise until a certain part of their lives they will understand what they did was wrong at the time when they bullied others. Bullies are just insecure and physically release their problems on others. I hear what you’re saying about being somebody and I like to prove that to myself and not to take crap from anyone. Nobody should be victim towards those who do wrong by running away and to live their own life elsewhere away from the people they had a bad experience with.
    • Army Veteran
      The point I was making with my story was that I didn't let it run my life - I put it behind me and now you see the pleasant, easy-going person in front of you. You think I'm easy-going, don't you? And pleasant? Good! Because if I can do it so can you or anyone else. I don't mean to offend you, but you're pathetic. You've locked yourself into an emotional prison with no apparent desire to break out. Maybe it was the way you were raised - shielded from the negative aspects of life and given reassurances that "you have a right to not be offended". If this is the case, then someone lied to you. If not, then it was self-inflicted. Either way, you're an unhappy person and you're allowing it to happen to yourself. If you don't like what's going on in your life, do something to change it and leave the sympathy cards outside.
    • Shadow
      Things are doable in a person’s life when they put their mind to it and take action. It’s for the best and not be a prisoner being held back. My emotions are not imprisoned because I can release myself emotionally through expression and write poems based on the emotions I’m experiencing which is therapy in a way. I intend to break out emotionally and become like a waterfall going with the flow of thoughts and feelings but this waterfall will not be stopped by anyone who gets in my way. I am aware of the negative aspects of life such as what will happen if I lose my job and become homeless for instance or it could be people being obstacles in the way of things. See them as stepping stones in a pond. I am an unhappy person because of the way I am poorly treated by others. I want to be happy but it’s a struggle and sometimes I can be positive and other times negative. I think everyone gets like that having both positive and negative attitudes. I don’t like what is going on in my life and it’s been going on too long to the point that it’s tiresome and getting fed up with things. I believe a person’s medical setback can slow things down for them. Sympathy cards are for giving and receiving. I haven’t passed away yet so no cards for my unmade grave.
    • Army Veteran
      You're an unhappy person "because of the way you're poorly treated" - and who lets it be that way? When you carry yourself as a guy into poetry and liken yourself to "a waterfall", you might as well put a "kick me" sign on your back. Do you want to compare medical issues? I've been blind in one eye from a truck accident for 30 years - being trained as a truck driver, it has seriously hindered my employment options. I was diagnosed with emphysema more than 15 years ago and then heart failure 7 years ago. I almost died on New Year's Eve 2020 when the defibrillator they planted in my chest went off while I was driving, almost knocking me into the back seat. I've been on disability since 2015 and it's just recently been changed over to official "retirement". But the one thing I don't do is feel sorry for myself and open myself up to be victimized by "bullies" and people who "lack emotional intelligence". Life is what you make it and yours is the product of your own doing, just as mine and everyone else's is. We have to take care of ourselves.
    • Shadow
      I’ve been unhappy for a long time. I don’t let it be that way. It’s the negative impact that people have on me. I’m not responsible for their problems that they released on to me since I was young. My mother never treated me properly because she is cold in nature and she is the same with my brothers and sister. I really want to be happy in life and I’m not just saying that. I will do whatever it takes to find happiness and not let anyone put me down mentally. I understand sometimes in life we have got to be tough and move on. It can be easier said than done but still doable. I am sorry to hear about the truck accident. The main thing is you are alive and I understand where you are coming from with this. You’ve been through things more serious than me. I get it. That is true we must take care of ourselves for surviving
    • Army Veteran
      You're just turning 40. Is your mother still an integral part of your life? Is she still controlling you? If so, why do you still put up with it? If not, at what point in life do you plan to cut the apron strings and make your own way down the path to independence? You keep referring to the negative impact that people have on you - that's nothing but a cop-out. You're letting yourself be controlled by the way others think about you - you're blaming them for your failure to take control of your own life. And please don't get emotional over my accident - it happened 30 years ago and I've put it behind me. I didn't mention it to get sympathy - I mentioned it to let you see that some people really do have it worse than you, but they don't let themselves get stuck on an emotional roller coaster over it. I despise sympathy unless I show it for others on my terms and not because I was guilted into it (as is seen so many times on social media).
    • Shadow
      My mother can be controlling in nature. I still live with her and she makes my life difficult. Although she knows I am an adult she has backed away during the past few years when I have proven I can be independent in certain ways. I have somewhat control of my life but because she makes the rules of the house I am limited in certain ways making it impossible to be free in myself. I know there are people who are able to move out of their parents house because they have learned to live their life as they please. I find it difficult to learn certain things because I have an intellectual disability. It’s sad really when you think about it that I can’t have the same motivation in life that others have. I want to be living a life away from my mam and that way I will be feeling more free and happier. I don’t let anyone think for me. I am very well able to think for myself and that is part of my plan for success to living the life I want but unfortunately at the moment things for me are not great in life. It’s just depressing and although I blame people’s wrongdoings for my negativity, I have moved on from everyone except for my mam because I’m living with her. I can understand where you are coming from when you mentioned the accident as an example of having it worse than me and it makes me aware that people had it bad in life with accidents and things that happened to them caused by others like in a war or getting physically bullied for instance.
    • Army Veteran
      I don't know the extent of your intellectual disability, and I won't ask - it's none of my business. But you said you have difficulty learning certain things because of it. Wanna know a secret? I can sometimes read the instructions on how to do something a dozen times and it won't sink in. But let me get my hands on it and go through the motions and I have no problem picking up on it. I believe everyone is that way. You don't always learn by reading or watching - experience is the best teacher. And as far as "intellectual" is concerned, the one thing I've never seen fault with you is your meticulous detail in spelling and grammar on here. Half the people in here are failing in that department. So you have a lot of things going for you - you just have to use your strengths to overcome your weaknesses. And if your mom gets too controlling, simply look her in the eyes and say, SHUT UP! And go make me a bologna sandwich!" One of two things will happen: she'll either do as you say because she was shocked that you stood up for yourself, or she'll blacken both of your eyes and say, "Don't you ever talk that way to me again!". Either way, you'll have something to be proud of - you stood up for yourself.
    • Shadow
      I think you have motion intelligence. I am a visual learner which means I learn best by seeing how things are done. It might take me a while to learn something visually depending on what it is. It’s true experience is the best way to learn. I see some people as obstacles in the way that I must work my way around it by doing my own figuring out. English was my favourite subject in school and I write my own poems. That is very true with some people on here from their lack of understanding of the English language such as poor grammar or spelling. I believe we all have our own strengths and weaknesses with things. I would not have what it takes to say shut up to my mam but from my experience with her over the years I know how to work my way around her but sometimes I get bogged down by the things she says and that she comes across as insensitive and cold in nature. She is the same with my brothers and sister. I am able to stand up for myself in certain ways but because I am sensitive to emotions and have depression that can make me weak. I try to focus on the positive side of things in life which I sometimes struggle with but I am aware everyone can get like that

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