If I hadn't done so already, I'd make sure to let them know if they have a baby, they're going to ruin their life, and I'd provide them with condoms. You won't stop a person from having sex, if that's what they want to do, but you can help protect them. Grounding them sends the message that sex is bad. It's not, it's a normal human function. Grounding one and praising the other? Your son is going to have issues.

I'm not a parent, but I don't think that was right on his part. Have a conversation with your husband, first, and see why he decided to handle things the way he did. If you still find it unreasonable, simply unground your son. Personally, I don't think it's something to punish a kid about. From my experience, it doesn't change anything. Just make sure they know how to be responsible sexually.

You should tell your son what Zombies suggested and give him a high 5. Also don't let your husband mistreat your son.... or get rid of him.

Ground the older son, or reprieve the younger. You cannot be different to the 2 like that. Honestly 14 and 16 sexually are not that far apart. On a side note... you badly need to talk to your Husband and explain that you 2 being married that he needs to treat both kids equally, regardless of if they came from his loins or not. Him having less regard for your child is an indication of him having less regard for you. He clearly does not consider you equal to him as a parent in this relationship.

Both in the same week? Hmmm... a little strange.

castrate them. i jest ijest. but theyre not stopping anytimesoon so give them condoms.

They both did the same thing. If one is to be punished, the other should be punished as well. If one isn't being punished, the other shouldn't be punished, either. That's so complicating.

Your husband was a jerk. That was glaringly obvious favoritism. He should not have done either, in my opinion, but rather took them BOTH aside and had a fatherly chat with them about respect, responsibility and above all safety.

Eh, I wouldn't really be that interested in the sex lives of my kids... it seems kind of incestuous. I'd just tell them both the importance of condoms and how making a teenage girl pregnant can really fuck up her life.

I would rip you hubby a new arsehole ...he is being a 100% jerk and I would make sure he knows it in no uncertain circumstance... he MUST not favor one over the other ..NEVER!!

Interesting that you know about the event(s). Caught them? They told you? I have 2 sons and while they were growing up-along with the premise that there is a certain morality about sex-the risks are great---pregnancy being equal to AIDs, etc. And by the way--what about the young women in this story. Guess I am more concerned about the dynamics of your children than the reaction of your husband. Probably didn't help with your question. Sorry--but may give you more questions to think about.

er...thats tough. tbh you cant treat children that differently. i would say, he should've punished both.

I'm totally clueless (we are childless)but I can empathize with your concern. I was raised in a rather sheltered environment, graduated from university a 19 year old virgin. Lost it as a drunken 21 year old Army officer in a Munich bordello to an "offizieren mataraz"(high-class courtesan) about 30 years ago. It left me with a rather distorted view of all women (I was raised in a household where the only female present were my mother and servants) that took me many years to overcome. It seems to me that children are becoming sexually mature at lower ages than previous generations. What were the circumstances of their "initiation"? Prostitutes or some casual loveless setting? This might leave them with the same distorted view of womankind that I had; mentally dividing them into two groups: 1) sexless relatives or professional relationships or 2) mindless sex objects. It wasn't until I was almost 40 before I overcame this, with the help of a wonderful lady (we've known each other for 14 years; married for the last ten). I hope that your boys won't have that trouble. Your husbands reaction is puzzling; does he treat them differently in other ways? Perhaps he considers the 14 year old too young for such activity. His congratulatory response to the 16 year old is cause for concern. The lad is being set up for a life of treating women as sex objects unless,of course he lost his virginity in a loving and caring relationship. Sorry for the long and possibly unhelpful response. My thoughts are with you as you wrest with this problem. <hugs> :-)

That sounds like gross favoritism, since he punished his stepson and not the older one. Furthermore, unless he set clear guidelines regarding sexual behavior (i.e. "Don't have sex until age 16"), then he has no justification to punish the younger son. There is not much of a maturity difference between a fourteen year old and a sixteen year old. He should've taken them both aside and given them a talk about the responsibilities of sex and how it can be done safely.

So long as they'd both used protection, as a man, I'd have to have congratulated the both of em.

What a spectacular way to instil grandiosity, mixed messages, inferiority and resentment all in one gesture. Your idiot husband is a neanderthal and I feel sorry for the lot of you. Rewarding a 16 year old for getting laid? Punishing a 14 year old for doing the same thing? What kind of asshole is this guy? Really. No 16 year old should ever be rewarded for screwing. I don't say punish him, but at least give him some role models to follow that don't think it's cool to stick your dick in someone as a badge of honor.

Congratulate them both, buy them a big box of condoms.

he reacted like a juvenile asshole on both acounts. Id find a better role model for y sons

The 16 yr old takes after his dad. I guess the 14 year old takes after his mum. .which would be you? Well, just High 5 both of them and sneak some condoms in their rooms.

Sit them down and have a talk with them. Make sure they understand EVERYTHING there is to know about STD's and pregnancy. Make sure they know the importance of wearing a condom EVERYTIME.

What, what? The older one is his but the younger one isn't? Did you cheat on him? BTW, your husband is a moron. Just buy them both condoms and make sure they do it safely.

been furious, they are both too young to be having sex, they could ruin there lives with an std or have a baby as such a a young age!

ground them both. nothing long term, by teenaged years there is not much parenting you can do... I hope to raise my children with oldfassioned values. and no that is not impossible.... people said it was impossible of my generation but I have only been with my wife... and the stats are getting slightly better

Id be understanding to them both. Wheather it happens today yesterday or in 5 years time you cant really control when they will sex. 14 is young, but it happened, its over and done with. Just remember we were 14 and 16 one too. Good luck :P

How do you feel bout it. The father shouldn't have the only say so in it, whether it's punishment or something else. Also they should be treated equally, they both did the same act, they both should be treated the same way, no matter what age. And encourage them to at least be safe if they are going to continue.

Ground both. If I had sons who were still children, (16 and 14 year-old teens are STILL kids), I would have grounded them both----they are not responsible or mature enough to have sex that young, and potentially cause a pregnancy. They may have the plumbing, but their house ain't complete yet!

The yours and mine would have ticked me off The difference in age is not that great Did either use condoms? The lack of use would be reason for grounding.

The first thing I'd do is sit BOTH boys down for a crash course in the risks of sexually transmitted diseases... There would be pictures of infected organs, rashes, scabs and warts. They would have a week long crash course in the risks one takes when they become sexually active, and I would provide them access to dental dams and condoms. I'd also let them know that sexual desire and sexuality are perfectly normal things, and why it is important to have a mantle of maturity before you give in to your desires. There would be some frank conversations about masturbation, a man's responsibility to his partner, and the hormone response. Then I'd go kick that lug-head husband of yours to the ground, and tell him to grow a pair and act like a parent to both kids, and not cheerleader to his eldest.

Divorce him.

DAMMMM SHOULDA GAVE IT TO MEEe