How to successfully integrate extra-marital sex with marriage? What is your experience? What rules do you use or follow?
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ANSWERS: 2
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Our experience has been very positive. Some of our rules are: no flirting or arranging to have sex behind each others back, no sex with anyone that is not agreed upon by both partners, we only have sex with other people with each other present (not necessarily watching each other, but we're in the same house at least), and no matter how much fun we have with others, my husband and I spend the rest of the night alone in the same bed together.
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officegirl Thank you for your answer - my question was meant for you. And of course anyone else who wants to answer but I know you are on here now! I like that about always spending the night together whatever - we do that too. We never spend the night with anyone while the other is at home. Agreed on by both of you? Hmm I would think that would be very difficult but we do agree on people we see regularly. We have played together but I think at last we are more comfortable with and can relax more being on our own. We were both pretty much used to certain approaches to intimacy when we met in our 50s and seems we are each still most comfortable with how we were so we make allowances so each of us can have that. We get along and enjoy each other's company so much and do most things together but is more lately like we are best friends than sex partners in the last year or so. -
ladyEmma We don't have much difficulty agreeing on partners. We tend to be comfortable with the same people mostly, so it hasn't been much of an issue for us. -
officegirl Meeting someone who wants me and being free to just give myself to him is still important to me. Granted doesn't happen very often at my age! Esp spending as much time with my husband. Then if it continues and develops I tell him about it. A couple of years ago I did meet a young man and kept it secret from my husband because I guess I felt that was more exciting and I wanted it to be just mine although he knows me well enough he knew exactly what was going on from the beginning so I felt badly I had not told him. I don't know - I guess I want the thrill and strokes of exciting sex and the comfort and security of a mature relationship.
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Why do extra-marital sex? I'm happy with my husband and we don't need to bring multiple partners into our marriage.
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officegirl
No reason if you don't want to. Sounds like you are having a great time! But I've always been - I could never restrict myself to just one guy. No matter how happy I was or how well things were going.
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