Just tell her Love is a word that has no meaning anymore. People use it as if it was air. And true love means she doesn't have to keep secrets from her "true love". And this makes her a terrible person for leading people on and just playing with peoples feelings and apparently she doesn't care for each of them because she wouldn't have lead this lie.

Well, IMHO she IS a 'bad person' if she is engaged to 2 guys without either of them knowing!

You can't. She IS a bad person for lying to two men she claims to love.

She sounds a little confused. Just tell her that she is a good person, and to continue being a good person, she should break off both of the engagements.

I don't think you can explain to her in a way that she would understand. If she says she loves these two guys equally she doesn't really love either of them, she just likes them and enjoys their company. If she doesn't understand the concept of love I'm sure you'll never get through to her. She isn't necessarily a bad person, just immature and selfish.

I wouldn't say she is a bad person, but she is not ready for a marriage to either of these men. You say from a brother-in-law point of view.....Is one of these men your brother? She really needs to be told that she must break it off at this time. It is not fair to either of the men she is engaged to. She is lying to both of them and needs to stop.

It is one thing to be torn between two guys you have very strong feelings for; this can often happen and can be an agonising and stressful situation as you try and figure out what the hell to do about it. A person in this situation would have my sympathies. However it is another thing to consciously make a promise to marry someone, to spend the rest of your life with them and only them, and to make this promise to more than one person... it is deliberate lying in order to try and put off the responsibility of making a choice between them, and will greatly increase the amount of hurt caused to at least one man who you claim to love, and possibly to both if the chosen man (and there WILL have to be a choice made) finds out about this situation that has been allowed to develop. To behave in such a way would make someone not only deceitful but also uncaring, selfish and irresponsible, and a person in this position would not have any sympathy from me. So to answer your question, there is no way I can see of telling her that she isn't a bad person, because her behaviour marks her out as being a bad person with a severely stunted sense of moral responsibility.

I think a lot of people have been through something similar at some point in their lives... maybe not to the extreme this girl is taking it - but many people in relationships find themselves attracted to someone else. The difference is - most people know better than to ACT on it. Does she plan on marrying BOTH of these men? Does she realize that's against the law? I think you need to give her an ultimatum. Either she breaks it off with both guys, or tells them she's been playing them both - or YOU DO. I don't think it makes her a bad person, just immature and VERY confused.

When each male person discovers this situation of "twos company and threes a crowd". they both make group together and dump her, altogether. this is dangerous territory, to be playing with the hearts of two innocent people, at one time. She need to level with both males and tell the truth. Nothing good will ever come of this type of relationship. Love hurts and so does deceit.

I am in the same situation. I feel I love them both. I am not engaged but I am seriously going out with both of them. One of them is in a different city and I find myself lying to him all the time, while I spend 5 days a week at the other guy's house. One of them is young and fun, the other one, older, mature and stablished. Both love me very much. I don't know what to do and I feel I will lose them both. I don't think I am a bad person, I just happen to be confused, like the girl in your question. You should never interfere and tell them the truth. It's her choice, you can just advice her and make her chose the right guy for her.

When she accepted their proposals and allowed both those men to get to the point that they think they are going to marry her she crossed the line. That she loves them equally isn't saying all that much since her level of love for these men still allows her to deceive them both to an alarming degree. Frankly, I feel more concerned about the men's feelings when they find out than how she sees herself.

Yes, I think that most people would agree that this makes her a bad person. You need to tell these men what is going on so that they can both dump her sorry ass.

Acc to me its natural for a girl to LOVE two men, usually a man will be not LOVING two girls, but a women, can, and I am sure since she is more emotional , more giving, and understands love more as a emotion them Men DO. Can a women love two children, two borthers, equally YES!!! , so can she love two men equally, but she may perform with only one, since the social structure prohibits both togeather.

Honey, she doesn't love either one of them.

Well sounds like she is confused and immature...not sure it makes her "bad". But if she is planning to marry, she needs to grow up and own up to what she did. Unluckily....might scare off both of them off, but it will be a lesson she will have to learn from and know next time not to lead the guys on. She has been deceitful which that is bad, if she truly loves them, she would be honest and be truthful, for they deserve that much. How would she feel if she was dating a guy who secretly was engaged to her and another girl? Which a decision going have to be made..she can't marry both.

I think she is not doing right thing by either guy, how can you accept a marriage proposal from two guys, didnt the thought come into her head when the 2nd one asked, "hey, I am already engaged, maybe I should say NO. Why are you trying to tell her this is okay, it isnt? You make choices in life and live with your choices, this is just complete selfishness.