This one can really spark a lot of debate ! Ultimately I think that it is YOUR body, and in the end YOU are the one responsible for the child, if you have it. HOWEVER, having said that, there can be so many factors involved. If I were married, it might make a difference. Marriage is a partnership, and I think in that situation it would really have to be discussed more and thought over more. If it were just with a boyfriend or something more casual, it's a different situation. One thought that occured to me is, does this man want to raise the child alone ? If he does, then it's up to you to consider if that's something you could do - have the baby, and essentially sever your rights as a parent. Just one more option. But going through a pregnancy is a tricky thing - one of the processes that occurs is a huge hormonal shift, which acts partly to create a bond between the mother and child. So even in women who fully intend to give a baby up for adoption with no doubts about it - they may still feel a great deal of emotion when the time comes, and may even change their minds. Any women whose ever had PMS knows what hormones can do - pregnancy is like PMS times 1000 - it makes you VERY emotional. Not the ideal time for decisions that can be life altering. From experience - my boyfriend (when I was 17) did not want me to go to college, because he thought I'd leave him for "someone better." So he poked holes in the condoms (unbeknownst to me), and all the while saying, "I hope you get pregnant, so you don't leave me." When I found out I was pregnant, and eventually what he'd done, I was furious. I knew with that added to many other factors, that he would not ever be cut out to be a father, and cut him out of my life. I originally told him I was going to have an abortion and never wanted to see him again - he asked if he had any say in the matter, and I said NO WAY. Eventually, I changed my mind, and had the baby, but I still felt I was in the right to exclude him from the process. But I felt his actions were partly to blame for that. But if it were to happen NOW...it would be a different story. So many factors, and such a hard decision...ugh !!

I never want to have babies. Besides, forcing myself to have his baby would make me resent him for the rest of his life.

The baby is just as much his as it is yours. If he is willing to take on financial/parental responsibility, then he should be able to keep his child. You could always give up all rights to the child if you don't want it. I believe that if I make the decision to sleep with someone and take on the risk of getting pregnant, then I need to take responsibility for my actions and care for, or set up care for the life I created.

I would certainly discuss it with him but we have been married over 23 years and he knows how I feel and I know how he feels so its a mute point in this household.

Firstly, why don't you want the baby? Secondly, i understand that it may be a bad time for you and i think that you really should listen to your husband's ideas and his view on things. Like theceebs said, ultimately it's YOUR body, but the baby's his too, and he should influence your decision. He'd influence mine if I were in your shoes. And just think, he is willing to be a great father, and you're lucky for that :)

If not, kiss that marriage goodbye.

I would consider his advice, but if I didn't think he'd be a reliable father, then I'd disregard his opinion and make my own decision.

I'm blessed that I am married to a man that thinks the way I do, but I wouldn't be able to kill a baby no matter what the father wanted. I just couldn't do it. My neighbor has a son born at 22 weeks. He has some disabilities, but he is a bright, intelligent, functional, loving and brave little boy. There is no way that he was unorganized tissue or a potential life when he was born. He was a baby. Having seen that someone born that early is still a person, I couldn't make myself kill a child. If I didn't want to raise a child, and I can't imagine why that would be, I'd find a good family to adopt it.