Sinus headache always works for me.

you cant find your pants!! my excuse Dog appt doctor appt migraine car trouble food poisoning

You sprained your index finger while AB'ing and don't think you'll be very productive without giving it a day of rest.

Migrain headaches? Be careful though,because usually when I make up something it really happens to me so I dont do that anymore.

just teel em your sick, end of story!!!!!!!!, if they ask why??? say well ermmmm im in bed with my sister, lol

Anything personal :-) A nasty rash :-p your boss wont ask questions and wont be able to get you out of the office quick enough :-)

laringitus

Tell them your anal warts are acting up. He'll never ask you again.

Food poisoning from last nights home-made dinner.

Tell them that you have Anal Glaucoma. You just can't see your ass coming in to work today.

You're being questioned by the FBI as a possible terrorist...

The one I hear most is..if its a man..its usually diarhea..or women are having a severe menstrual day...LOL

you've used them all up already!!!

Tell them that you have a bad head ache! It always works for me!

Tell them that you ate too many beans and it has bloated you and you know your farts are going to be really bad and it will make the entire place sick.

say to them im staying off work because quite franctly the thought of coming to work today repulses you so much that you will probably come home after vomiting over your boss so you may as well not come in at all! it will save your bosses dry cleaning bill too hehehehe!

Short-term memory loss that causes redundancy might work. :)

Anything disgustingly contagious.

I always use something that is outdated or not indingenous to the area so they know I just want to go to a ballgame or whatever. Last time I told them I had Scurvy, and the time before that I said I was bit by Tse Tse flies and had African Sleeping Sickness.

Nervous breakdown

if you confess to explosive direha(sp) usually they don't want to know any more

Acute Lazyitis

Tell them you have the bottle flu. Just kidding, tell them you have the flu and you can't come into work.

Diarrhea.

juss tell em u gota family emergency, or personal issues

Tell them you got Anthrax poisoning and that way you can stay out for a few weeks instead of just for the day.:-)

Breathe in some helium get on the phone and tell them you were kicked in the gonads.

I JUST TELL THEM I HAVE A DOCTORS APT OR MY BELLY IS QUEEZY. :)

This takes a while, but it works. Make oatmeal the night before you have to go into work. Put in it a few drops of brown or yellow food coloring. Chew up some food and spit it in. mix it all up. Before you go in, rub just a dab of vasaline under your eyes (DON"T GET IT IN "EM), dangle your head upside-down so you sound stuffy. Use the trusty 'ol sick voice for a better effect. Don't brush/comb your hair. Dress haphazardly. Example: Don't zip your fly, skip a button on a shirt, ect. *Remember to make enough fake vomit to take to work. When your supposed to go talk to someone, (like in a meeting) show up a few minutes late wearing a heavier coat. Then in the middle of it, moan a little. make movements like your about to heave (in the coat, hide your fake vomit) and BOLT to the restroom. Run to the farthest stall. Start making heaving noises and dump some fake vomit into the toilet. *NOT all at once. Smear a little coming from the corner of your mouth. Dump more in. Chances are someone will hear this. They'll most likley ask if everyone is all right. Come out and say "No." Clutch your stomach. They will see your "not feeling well". Day-off. MAybe two or three for that matter. As you are still in the bathroom, make the heaving motion again. The person will be worried for you. If you have enough, go back and dump some more in the toilet after a while. Keep making heaving motions. There you go.

Sneezed so much that ya lost half ur brain cells!