I was raised by "dysfunctional parents" which is a nice way to address the situation. I was abused mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually. I suppressed/denied/pretended it all didn't happen for years. I even went so far to make an alternative history where my father died when I was 2 years old in Vietnam (the real man ran to Canada), where my mother was a hard working woman (who actually stayed at home and had me do all the housework). I told this history and elaborated on it for years. I also turned to drug and alcohol abuse - this is called self medicating. I suffered from daily "flashbacks" for a long time until the drugs and alcohol lead to a numbness which pretty much made me "happy" - if you think of a drug addled mind as happy... After I stopped using (a about a decade ago) all of the unresolved issues came back, included but not limited to: flash backs, night terrors, night mares, thoughts of suicide, thoughts of vengeance, relieving the moments again. It took years and years of therapy and lots and lots of patience and self-examination to understand a lot of my feelings and emotions. It took getting proper diagnoses in order for me to deal with the side issues that came up, Post Traumatic Stress (the chronic form), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - you can say you can COUNT on me ;) and a few other things. Most of my mental/emotional problems stem from the violence of the sexual abuse - it was violent, painful rape. Of course the other forms of abuse also play key rolls in even today's day to day life - I still flinch at particular moves, I still wince at particular situations - I still over react to certain common day tasks which for me are connected to moment of abuse thus I am taken back to the day when daddy beat the crap out of me while I was doing ______(fill in the blank). Working through the events, the things, the "stuff" (I actually use a different word for "stuff") has gone a long way to taking the sting out of things. Knowing that X happened way back lead to Y reactions today has made things easier. One of the reasons why I am clean and sober this long is because I know that I was self medicating - and knowing that means I can control myself and see when I am entering dangerous waters. Abuse 'programs' people - the more abuse they have the more they are programed. We are like dogs - beat a dog once it will flinch for a while when you walk by - beat it often enough and it will flinch when anybody walks by. For us the flinching is internal, it can be the expression of emotions like anger, fear, pain, sadness, etc. As long as you have a memory you will react to that abuse - usually its connected to a trigger - a trigger can be a sight, a sound, a smell, a certain situation where part of the event is linked in your memory and a repeat of X trigger sends you back. Learning your triggers will better prepare you to deal with the emotions that will attend it. Excessive abuse needs the care of a professional therapist - A psychiatrist will give you medications a psychologist will give you therapy. My personal experience is that medications DO NOT take care of the issues - medications cover/hide or otherwise go around the issue itself. Therapy confronts and examines the situation and leads to your understanding of it allowing you to recognize it for what it is so you can begin the process of healing.

I had that happen with an ex of mine. I still remember that day so clearly. I do tend to get upset at times, but not like I did before. I guess TIME helped me deal with it.

Well, i had an abusive ex boyfriend. He went from verbal abuse to physical abuse and knocked the shit out of me. But i've goten over that, and just never wish to speak with him again. The worst 'abuse' was my uncle. Most of my family doesn't talk to my immediate family, and of my 4 uncles one of them was always close to me. His son and me were best friends and raised together all our lives. He lived with us on and off after his divorce. And when i was 16, he came in my bedroom and tried to have sex with me. He lifted my cover and started touching me, i woke up in complete terror. I didnt go home for weeks. And even now, when i think of possibly seeing him in public, my stomach turns.

My father and two brothers have all physically verbally n emotionally abused me but id have to say the physical abuse was horrific with bruises bite marks n deep cuts... It has scared me and i found that it helped to talk to my ex boyfriend about it an he said "men that beat on woman are cowards" and six months later i broke up with him because he became obsessive. A month latr after a night out with my girlfriends he followed me to wer i was staying and began to yell hysterically at 3 am !! I went inthe car with him but he locked the door and i was scared so i tryed to get out but he dragged me by my hair back into the car wheni was trying ti eacape from him and pulled my hair with both hands as he yelled in my face blaming me for ruining the relationship when in reality i broke up with him because i was afraid of him and he had threatened me alot.. He bruised me he hurt me and my hair fell out in bunches... This was the guy who once said men that hit woman are cowards!!!!!!! I couldnt believe it... Its been 3 days since he hit me and ive been having nightmatrs n weirrd flashbaks n visions that scare the hell out of me.. I keep dreaming that im choking the same way he had choked me when he pulled me towards his side of the car... I feel so humiliated and degraded.. I hate this helpless feeling.. And now he msgs n calls n says hes sorry!!! Wat the hell?? You hit me u animal i will never forgive you!! I honeatly havnt delt with my issue yet but the next day after he hit me and he stole my phone, a friend ( a rather large n cary looking guy lol) went to his house to take back the phone. The coward was so afraid n hid behind his door!! It was my turn to threaten him and i did i told him if he doesnt stop calling me or my family n friends that i will go straight to the police get a restraining order n charge him for violence n abuse.. He begged for forgiveness n promised to stay away.... The problem is he didnt.. He calls me from a private number and stays silent when i pik up the phone.. And once he called me n cryed on the phone n doint say a word.. he is A freak n a psychopath and needs serious medical and mental attention... hopefully he'll get used to not havn me around n quits his pranking cos if he doesnt then i wil hav no choice but to go to the police... Im too nice bwcos even after all that he did to me i still empathised with him n gve him a warning insted of running to the police i just hope that doesnt backfite on me!!

I was in an abusive relationship with a man and finally got the courage to leave. Even though I felt like shit for a long time I knew it was the best thing for me. I was really angry for a long time. then one day I realized I hadn't thought of him in a while and when I did I wasnt angry any more. I thought I'd dealt with all my feelings and had put it behind me. I met a new man and have been with him for a while now. He is so amazing and he treats me like gold. After about 6-7 months of being with him I started having flashbacks and nightmares. All these memories of the abuse started flooding my mind constantly. It has effected the way I act with my boyfriend. I've tried to talk to him about it and he is very understanding and supportive...but i feel like it doesnt matter how many times he says 'i love you', there are obviously feelings i didnt deal with and that are now popping up bc im in a relationship. I am getting angry and depressed all over again. I am trying to get into therapy but its hard bc i dont have insurance. My bf swears he's here to stay and its not that i dont believe he will try to stick it out, i'm just scared. They say PTSD usually happens closely following the traumatic experience, but its been over 3 years since i was abused. I have done some research and i have all the classic symptoms of PTSD. I really am at a loss for what to do or how to handle things. Doesnt it suck that not only he caused me pain while in the relationship...but now, 3 years later in a new relationship that would otherwise be wonderful, he can still cause me all this pain....stupid bastard. I'm doing the best i can. Hopefully I can recover soon but I know im never going to forget. I feel sorry for the women that never get out. So sad.