My husband has grounded my step daughter...she is wanting me to go against what he says and allow her to use the phone to call her boyfriend after her dad goes to bed. I told her no and now she says I am untrustworthy, how do I make her understand?
by 
MIA
ANSWERS: 12
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You did the right thing and she knows that and will respect you more for it even if she doesn't like you for it. I'm proud of you for standing your ground on this.
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Kids are unreasonable, they see thru their eyes only. You need to tell her that letting her use the phone would make you untrustworthy. Tell her you must uphold her dads choices!
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Good luck with that, just got out of the step daughter thing last year after 4 years. Tell her shes got to mind her dad & it would cause you & him trouble. You have to stick to your guns on this hon cause what ever you let her get by with now she'll learn to play both sides to her advantage & you will be the one screwed. If she gets caught then your hubby will get mad at you, if she gets by with it after you let her she will expect you to get her out of trouble everytime & if you don't she'll try to use that against you with your hubby. kind a like a black mail kind a situation. Good luck
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You don't. She's a kid and to her the whole world's unfair right now. But I would still sit her down with him and explain that you are not going to be playing her game. You are a united front and what one says the other will agree with. No matter what.
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ignore here, you know what is right from wrong and that kiddo will never learn if you let her do what she wants all the time, tell her that between the 3 of you in the house the father has the upper hand and if she doesnt want to get grounded again she should do things according to house and family rules and be a good girl..
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That really puts you in the middle, however you are a parent, she is a child. Kids need rules and boundaries with both parents on the same page. You cannot be her friend, if you do, she will start getting away with more things and your marriage will suffer. If Dad says NO you say NO..Been there done that. Good Luck
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It's emotional blackmail, plain and simple. "You're bad 'cause you don't do what I want" You have a choice: either stand by your decision, or give in and let her have her way. I personally would not undermine my spouse by going against their decision - it degrades them in the child's eyes (daddy doesn't have any authority over me... I can just go to mummy), and it sets up that exact pattern: "I can't get what I want with dad, I'll go to mum." They will play you against each other, plain and simple. Kids are selfish. Supremely selfish. The world revolves around them, and this is an example. Has she even stopped to consider why she's been grounded, or just straight away begun to look for ways to get around it? It's not my place to tell you what to do, but as a parent myself I would caution against undermining your spouse - it can lead to trouble of all sorts, both with you and your spouse, and with the kids.
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This sounds like a child that needs strong, unwavering discipline. She needs to know that the law has been laid down and there's no appealing it! She needs hard and fast rules in black and white and you and your spouse are not to go back on them. With that said, you also want to get on her good side so you can form a bond and a good relationship with her and you aren't quite sure how to do that, right? You aren't going to really win her by bending your husband's rules. Do it with quality one on one time.(Dinner, shopping, etc) Ask her opinion about things, whether youre out shopping, deciding whats for dinner, or putting out home decor... Make her feel like her opinion matters. The important thing is to build a good, solid relationship with her without blurring the parental lines. It's a tough road... hang in there!
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Stand your ground. Make sure your hubby knows. At the same time try to be firm without getting angry or nasty. You're her steop-mom, not her friend. And yet you aren't her mom either. A tightrope. Friendly firmness is what is required. Firmness with a smile packed with love.
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The very fact that you say she's a step daughter indicates to me that it isn't your place to discipline her or to revoke discipline instituted by her father. And if she doesn't understand, she doesn't have to. And besides, if she is in her teens why does she have a boyfriend to begin with? Teens shouldn't be dating. If she says you're untrustworthy, that's what she thinks but don't let that make you give in.
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I am currently living the in the step daughter hel and it is costing me the women I love. This selfish 20 that refuses to grow up has been nothing less than a thorn since day 1. I tried everything I possible could to, to be a person that she could count on and been repeatedly slapped in the face with poor conduct, rude mouth lazyness, minulipation, and down right lies. I have reach the point that I have as my wife to leave and would rather lose her than deal with the constant stress and lack of harmony in the house. My heart goes out to anyone that is having to deal with this type of young adult, I know its a sad atate of mind to give up but my metal health and disire for peace is to strong to stay with the women I love because she simply refuses to put this child out so her only choice is her child over our marriage
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Send her to a bording school!! Just playing. Maybe tlk to your husband. Dnt ground her this time. But nxt time make sure that he tlks to you before he goes and trys to ground her again. It should be both of the parents talking to the daughter n letting her know y she is being grounded. You cant really blame her for not listening to him.
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