I'm thinking nothing. Say you're sorry, ask them if there's anything you can do for them (prepare a meal, run some errands etc) and that's it. Be there for them.

please delete

I made a documentary about this very topic. The surviving family members each said that they needed a lot of time to process the pain of having your loved one be the victim AND the murderer. Lots of anger to work through and quesitons unanswered that will never be answered. The one thing they can do is find a support group in the area who can introduce them to people who share the experience. Most felt so isolated because of the shame that when they finally talked to someone else who had been throug it, they were so releaved. Hospice has barevement groups. Also, as their friend, dont stop being their friend. My interviewees said that after a few months people stopped being their friends because it reminded them of the painful tragedy of suicide even to be around them. They just wanted to forget and not be reminded so the surviving family was very shut out of the community as a result. ALSO, surviving family members are at GREAT risk of committing suicide themselves from the grief. They actually have the highest suicide rate of anyone. Be on the look out for signs as their friend. My film was called Faces of Suicide. The Glendon Association has resources for suicide prevention. gooogle it. Good luck.

G'day Redrum, Thank you for your question. My cousin by marriage committed suicide twenty years ago. All you can do is offer words of comfort and support when they need it. It causes great pain to their loved ones and all you can do is try to comfort them. Regards

"I'm sorry for your loss, and if there is anything you need, call me at any time." But you have to mean it.

The thing is, her family lives in Japan and we're her friends (counting as 'family' I suppose), and we just don't know what to do. She never really talked about her family, except like an outsider who has watched a movie, then suddenly there was a pile of problems at home and she was on the phone to her brother all the time. Her mother had an affair and now her mother is dead. From the age of 8 she has been living in different countries. She was home between the ages of 10 and 14, then they sent her to New Zealand and she's lived here ever since (10+ years). She doesn't want to go back to Japan, and she's saying she isn't upset, but we sort of know that she is. She's also mentioned something about it being an honourable decision for her mother to commit suicide. I know the Japanese have a different view of suicide, but what can we do for her?

I feel being there is just as important as what you may say -

Not much. Just be there for them and be willing to do things for them in their time of need. Always be open and listen. Suicide is a selfish decision made by somebody who cares more about themselves than the people around them they are destined to hurt. Plus, they're probably in hell. Sorry, that's the honest truth. (Waiting for people to downrate).

I think theres nothing you can say to help them alleviate such pain like it is to loose a loved one to suicide the best thing you can do is be there for the family cause in this case words are unnecessary theres nothing you can say to help them feel better. IMO

Oops old question. I hope your friend is doing ok at the present time.