ANSWERS: 9
  • I would trade him in for a new model...you are better than that. you deserve a life remember you only live once so live life to the fullest ...why stay where there is no passion. passion is a key factor to a happy life.
  • Take him to the doctor - at his age, many bio-chemical factors can interfere with libido, including things ilke high blood pressure and diabetes.
  • couples therapy. well, i say this because when it comes to long relationships, it's history can have an associative effect. emotional reactions along with physical reaction become learned and almost instinctual. he may not cheat anymore but the effect it must have had on your relationship must have taught both of you to cope in different ways. sometime if unchecked these coping mechanisms can be destructive to the realtionship. i am just throwing this theory out there. it could be something totally different. for instance he may have personal emotional issues. perhaps it's a fear of intimacy and it's easier for him to think sexually of people who are not emotionally close to him. actually it could be for a billion reasons! getting down to the nitty-gritty and talking about it honestly with eachother is the only way to figure out whats going on. that's why i suggest a good councelor. facing the problem is the only way to make the best of it, other wise it's just ignoring the problem... and what kind of relationship is that?!!!
  • the response button is acting up again so ill post here youre totally right, sometimes its very difficult to step back and gain a different perspective since most of us get so used to the "daily grind". i'm not assuming to point fingers, i'm just saying given the case- although one person may be the "source of the problem" (i'm using this phrase very loosely)... a relationship means a dynamic of more than how one person affects things. so, it's important each person identifies what they need to do themselves. after all, ultimately, you cant control what someone else decides to do. take responsibility for yourself and let the rest work it'self out. it's all anyone can do. if you do get a councelor i advise you look around for a few different ones and pick someone who has integrity and someone you two feel confident in. there are a lot of ineffective ones despite their degrees. speaking from my experience of course. i wish you the best.
  • Viagra .... will improve his libido. Married 33 years - so I am guessing over 50. Unfortunately mens sexual drive peak is at 18, womens in between 36 and 40, so his drive will be much less as he gets older. Its difficult for some men to come to terms with - hence they run after a "bit of skirt" to get their drive back or turn to porn. Obviously you should check with a Dr before he takes any medication and many men will not want to talk about such things but hopefully it could greatly help. The alternative suggestion is you watchthe porn with him. Some women would find such a suggetion very offensive but others enjoy it. If the porn gets him excited - enjoy it. But a younger model probably wouldnt require the porn.. just depends what the trade in policies are like in your area... Trade ins are often expensive..
  • Well if he cheated on you like 29 years ago and you haven't left yet your probably not going too. Right. So maybe you should try watching some porn with him. Have some fun and play with him and watch it together. Put a spark to his spark plug. I bet if you do you might find you have a tiger on your tail. Truthfully most guys watch porn and it has nothing to do with wanting someone else its just something that most guys like. Be his friend and you will be his lover again. just try it. Let go girl and try something new. 33 years is a long time. You can save your love life trust me it will happen.
  • Do what you should have done years ago, kick him into touch and either live alone or find a real man, whichever makes you happy.
  • this isnt right for you to have to deal with i'm so sorry for you. you deserve better...i dont know what you should do but do whatever it is YOU WANT!
  • I'm truly sorry you are going through this. The fact that he uses porn indicates that he has some remnant of libido. Is he masturbating to the porn or simply just watching it? Have you tried counseling? Do Ed medications work for him? Also, is he dealing with depression? Sometimes that will totally kill a sex drive. You have every right to be hurt. You two made vows and it is up to both of you to do your best to honor them and each other. It can';t be just you working at it though. You should not have to settle on making the "best of it".

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