ANSWERS: 10
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This is a very dangerous situation for you. You're damned if you do. you're damned if you don't. My advice is - be welcoming, do your best to make it work. But privately resign yourself to the fact that this relationship is probably going to be killed by it. Hope and work for the best. But be prepared for the worst. Above all, do not get yourself into a situation where you are emotionally or financially unable to leave if things deteriorate.
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Can't you move to a bigger house? Otherwise, perhaps you could suggest a trial period of say, 3 months. Agree that if this doesn't work or causes tension, you will have to make other arrangements for the daughter (where does she live now, with her Mum or is she old enough and lives on her own?) or move to a bigger house. Also try to talk about the tension it may cause and anticipate what you are going to do as a family when this happens.
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I don't think that it's the house is small you just don't want her there... I've seen lot's of excuses on your comments be real you just don't want her there... Thats selfish and it will ruin your relationship if you shun his daughter...
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I don't think that it's the house is small you just don't want her there... I've seen lot's of excuses on your comments be real you just don't want her there... Thats selfish and it will ruin your relationship if you shun his daughter...
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You can tell him "no...that wasn't part of our deal" It is hard to give a second part to this response as I don't know the age of the daughter...and why she wants to suddenly live with her father. If she is a teenager, I would say stick to your guns...possibly she is laying claim to her dad...or thinks the grass is greener in your field, as opposed to her mother's field....need to find out her agenda. If she is a small child...easy to compromise with a timeshare of the child which doesn't compromise your relationship. If she is an adult...no way! On your own, sister.
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You moved into a house with a man who is a father. How can you be ready for the next step if you don't want to get stuck giving your boyfriend's daughter a ride? You need to think about what you want out of this relationship. You're the girlfriend; she's his child. The two of them are a package deal, whether or not she's living in the house with you.
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If you love him you need to accept his daughter. His family should be allowed wherever he is, always. It's HIS house. Good for HER for wanting to try and get along with you. Most kids at first, hate their parent's love interests. You let her move in, and you just get over it- she was there first and she's his daughter. You're just the girlfriend.
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Now come on you knew he had a daughter do you really love this man and all that he has to offer.. well that offer comes with a daughter and that may mean your a step mom one day.. I say deal with it.. tough I know. If shes over age... and not young.. then have a talk with him about why shes moving in is it financial reasons or what is it.. if hes just helping her out then give her a year to get things in order.. if its something else not reasonable then its time for a talk with your guy.
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tell him how you feel.. about it. see what he says. maybe you guys can work some thing out.
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The least you should do is let him know how you feel. Relationships have to be a compromise because you're both involved and both of your feelings are at stake. Not to mention you live together, which means your general well being is at stake, your privacy you stress etc I think it's important that you talk to him.
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