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  • Honest suggestion: Try to think how you would feel about your decision (either way) if she were to die in the next few years. (I'm only suggesting this because I was in your position not too long ago)
  • Well i have a difficult relationship with my elderly mother too, and i couldn't possibly have her to live with me because it would be too difficult to be around her 24/7. I think you need to weigh up the benefits (for her) of having her to live with you, and the costs (to you ) of having her there. If the costs outweigh the benefits then don't have her, but if you think you could cope with having her around then go with that.
  • Does your mother like to drink?
  • Hello, Please do not consider having her live with you. You are entitled to a life free of the unhappiness and agitation she would create in your home. You and your immediate family are too important. It would be wonderful if your Mom appreciated everything that is done for her but she deosn't. It would be wonderful if she could enrich your life but it doesn't sound like she would. Try to give yourself permission to have boundaries in your relationship with your Mom and an obvious one is "she doesn't live with you". There seems to be a 'rule' in our society that we take care of our parents no matter what they do or did. I have talked to many friends and the ones that are the most torn with these decisions are the ones that never felt it was "their turn". Life and the family always revolved around the parent. When a child is treasured and put first then that child seems so much more able to give when the parent really needs help in their old age. I know that is true for me. Anyway, good luck. Believe you are not being selfish because you are not...p

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