I've been cheating on my boyfriend but I feel like he drove me to do it by not being around. How do I tell him that I've cheated?
by 
tweety bird
ANSWERS: 26
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be honest, tell him what you did. if the relationship is valuable to you, you'll let him know that you still want to keep in contact. be aware that he may not ever want to talk to you or see you. this is what you put at risk by cheating on him. if he does take you back, and you still have more problems, don't just cheat on the guy as punishment. talk it out, tell him that you are not getting the attention you deserve. also, if he does take you back, be a trooper and accept his doubts about you. in addition, ask him if he cheated. he might have been doing the same thing. cheating will get you no where
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I did the same thing,I cheated on my boyfriend twice, although we got back together, but things are never the same,and eventually we are breaking up. Admitt it, there is something missing in your relationship, wether you are aware of it now or not. My personal advise is NOT to tell him, you will regret it for the rest of your life, he will never forgive you and even if he does, he will never forget and you will eventually break up and he'll lose respect for you for sure and might even blackmale u in the future. In all cases, you should suck it up, and just forget about it as if nothing happened because you can never know what his reaction might be. personally I think you should break up because you are not convinced by this relationship or else you wouldn't have cheated on him.
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I think the most important thing here is to take responsibility for your actions: nobody "drove you to it", you made a choice. Now you want to blame him for your choice, that's a mistake. Just face up to the fact that you did what you wanted to do, and recognize that any consequences will be the result of your own actions. Beyond that, I would suggest you maybe shouldn't tell him. You can break up with him and not tell him. The question is "what will produce the least pain for him?". If you have decided to move on, I think it's best to leave as little pain in your wake as possible.
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Firstly your actions your fault. Don't blame others for feeling guilty! tell him now, and don't lie or blame him when telling him about it! simple.
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First, you need to take responsibility for your actions. If you were that unhappy, you could have left. If you're grown up enough to be in a relationship, you should be grown enough to come clean, even though it's going to suck alot. That's what adulthood is- doing things that aren't fun, but doing it anyway because it needs to be done.
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I heard someone say last week, that they cheated on their husband because he worked too much and she needed someone there. "She didn't mind that he supported her and the kids. She didn't mind letting someone come in and reap the benefits" .. i find this just putrid .. Either way, it is your fault as I see it, no matter the situation. Think about one day being tied up with children, busy and exhausted.. your husband cheating because you didn't have enough time for him.
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what do you expect to acheive by telling him? if you are telling him 4 him 2 dump you dont bother you should end it nicely and with dignity if you want to work through your problems and you really want to tell him then be honest about how you feel dont say i cheated bacause you never... say i cheated coz i felt insecure and unloved(or whatever)accept your responsible for your actions not anybody else!
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If he really loves you he won't blow up at you when tell him and be reasonable. If he wasn't around then he obviously doesn't care about you enough in the first place. I wouldn't be surprised if he was actually cheating on you first. Go find some other guy who actually will care about you.
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It is shameful to cheat. There will always be consequences for it and you will have to tell him as you find appropriate to your personal relationship. Mistakes and the pain that follows can be severe.
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Since you cheated just to punish him, then go ahead and punish him. Tell him bluntly. But remember that you cheat because you want to and nobody makes you do it. But it's a handy excuse. Your boyfriend probably won't like it but at least be honest with him.
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Talk to him about having an open relationship. If people want each other to be healthy, happy, and loved every day of their lives, then they might consider sharing hugs, closeness, and human company no matter where they are.
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If he's never around "driving you" to cheat how will you ever have the time to tell him? Tough situation none the less - just tell him what you have done (if you have the balls) and expect him to leave you.
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'Speak' to him
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You're a grown woman capable of making your own decisions. It takes 2 to tango. Lying and decieving take alot of energy to keep track of the lies you told, make it easier on yourself. If you're not happy with this guy - leave. It's better to deal with a few days/weeks of anguish than to go for years trying to live a lie.
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grow up and stop bullshitting yourself. dont blame him for you cheating.
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You may feel like he drove you to do it, I understand how that feels, however YOU made the conscious decision to lay with another person. You first need to be honest with yourself and ask why exactly you chose to cheat ( whether it was spur of the moment or not ) before you can be honest with him. So I suggest you take a good look at yourself and your feelings for your partner, and your feelings for the person you cheated with too. Then once you have your head around that, then you need to fess up to your partner. ( just as long as he is not a violent person )this way you will be ready with answers when he asks why. ( rather than just the " you drove me to it " response. But I also suggest you do this as soon as you can, don't sit on it for too long or you will never have the courage to tell him and this will only make things worse for yourself and him too. Good luck....
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first thing you need to figure out is how to take responsibilty for your own actions. My husband is military; I sure as hell dont use his courage and honor as an excuse to stab him in the back while he isnt looking. You did what you WANTED to do; nobody drove you to anything.
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Let me get this straight. You cheated on him, and you're blaming him for it, too? Oh, that's rich.
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Don't tell me. Unless you plan on doing it again. don't say anything.
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Do you want to continue the relationship? If so and you feel the need to come clean go for it. Start by admiting you made a mistake and the reason you did it. Which doesn't make sense to me if you felt lonely and he wasn't around for you, then you should have ended the relationship. Why cheat? Now you look like the one who can't be trusted. Next time he isn't around and your lonely are you going to cheat again. Now you will have major trust issues and your relationship will go through more than you can imagine.
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Um. There's this essence called 'personal responsibility' which, unfortunately, doesn't have a section in one's local bookstore. But know for certain, Tweety, that the way NOT to tell him is to start with: --- "Sweetie, though you drove me to do it by not being around,... "
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Have Crackhead Jesus do it for you.
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You tell him and its over. You need to decide first if you want to stay in a relationship with him. If you do you need to talk to him about how you feel. If at that point he cant give you the emotional feedback you need then cut the relationship off. He wont be hurt then because you gave him a chance to change his ways and didnt. Cheating on him was just plain dumb to begin with.
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Just let him catch you in bed with the other man.
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He's most probably doing the same thing to you so just call it even and continue what you both are doing---> cheating...lol...What a relationship, I hope you two are never planing on getting married for the children's sake!...+
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Instead of cheating you should have dumped him for the fact he's neglected you.
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