You need to explore to find what excites your libido. This is very normal. Many people have ways of getting excited to the point of orgasm that are found "odd" by majorities. However, all bodies are different, and there is no one thing that turns us all on the same, nor a concensus on what men/women should be turned on with according to education, beliefs, manners, habits, etc. This "quest" manifests itself in the form of masturbation, which is a very natural thing to do (it is even observed in other species). Sadly, conservative ways and thoughts have often inhibited children's natural aproach to exploring their own bodies by pointing masturbation as "wrong". Follow your instinct, try new things that you feel you could enjoy. Clearly identify what elements provoke you to reach an even higher sexual stimulation and account them as the things that you like the most and that would appreciate to incorporate while you are having intercourse. Also, no matter how "odd" your likes may be. Be honest to your partner, there is no shame in sharing what makes you achieve orgasm and must be the interest of your partner if he/she desires your satisfaction along with his/hers

In your question, you didn't mention if you are attempting to reach orgasm through masturbation or with a partner. In any event, try "Kegel Exercises." Dr Arnold Kegel originally designed this exercise, which strengthens the pubococcygeal muscles. This helps women with bladder control issues and also prevents or reduces pelvic floor muscle problems such as prolapse of the uterus. Later it was found that in toning these muscles, many women (and men) were able to achieve easier and more intense orgasms. The pelvic floor muscles can weaken because of pregnancy and childbirth, being overweight, inactivity, general weakness, and aging. So how do you locate and do the Kegel exercise to strengthen these pubococcygeal muscles? It's rather simple. Since these muscles are associated with urine flow, the next time you sit on the can to urinate (or stand up to urinate if you're a man), "tighten your anal muscles and "clamp down" to stop the flow of urine. In a woman this move will automatically tighten the vagina, as well. (In a man, the penis will lift upward if erect and inward if relaxed.) If you use a tampon or if you feel comfortable, you can stick a finger up into your vagina, clamp down, and if you are doing the exercise correctly, you should feel increased pressure (a tightening feeling around the tampon or your finger. The next and equally important component of this exercise is the "relaxation element." You tighten (clamp down" for six seconds, which restricts blood flow in the pelvic blood vessels and then RELAX for six seconds, which will reflexly increase blood flow to the area. By repeating this six second interval of contract and relax for ten to fifteen minutes, two to three times a day--this exercise can facilitate and enhance your orgasms. If you find it impossible to do these exercises correctly for whatever reason and orgasms are still a "challenge" to achieve easily, you may wish to visit your urologist or gynecologist. There may be other physiological, physical, or psychological issues to explore. (Or perhaps your lover needs to be "educated" about the art of making love as it applies to your needs. In this case a sex therapist may be of service.) But don't give up too soon, be patient, and in most instances improvement will be forthcoming. Added bonus: When you become proficient at doing the Kegel exercises, when making love to your man, once in a while have some fun by slightly tightening your vagina around his member and/or rhythmically contract your vagina at about one second intervals, giving him an added thrill. And as the man, you can occasionally do quick Kegel contractions, which lifts and moves the penis in ways your lady will find wonderfully enjoyable and fun.) In the end laughter and joy associated with lovemaking may be the ultimate key to pleasure. Making it a job or work out of lovemaking increases anxiety, and robs us of the pleasure of sharing. Remember, sex is supposed to be loving and fun. May a good time be had by all. And let me know if this advice has assisted you in achieving your goals. Edward