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As the cliché goes, men are notoriously reluctant to commit. Even when they love a woman and care deeply for her, the specter of marriage and children can freeze them in their tracks. Getting a man to commit means understanding that reluctance and approaching it with firm yet gentle pressure. Playing games or enacting Machiavellian power plays tend to make things worse. Instead, look for acts of faith and trust that allow commitment to appear naturally. The single biggest fear of committing is a fear of being smothered. You can assuage those fears simply by allowing your man to trust you. Listen when he talks to you and don't criticize him when he's confiding in you. Beware of trying to solve his problems. Instead, be supportive, tell him that you're behind him 100 percent, and allow him to talk to you without feeling the need to interject. As time goes on, he'll be more willing to open up to you, giving you more opportunities to tell him you care. That helps bond the two of you, making a full-bore commitment much easier for him. (Naturally, you should expect the same openness and willingness to listen from him when you have problems; this isn't a one-way street.) While you don't want to have "The Talk" with him in one fell swoop---demanding commitment is sure to drive him away---it's reasonable to expect progress as your relationship continues. When the time is right, ask for fidelity from him and offer the same in return. Get him to introduce you to his friends and ask about meeting his parents after a few months. Speak to him about moving in together after your relationship has progressed, and ask about taking vacations and other trips together. Be prepared to discuss these developments openly, but stay firm in your need for them. Think of it as eating an elephant one bite at a time rather than all at once. Even the most committed couples need time to themselves every now and again. Don't feel threatened by his occasional need for a night out with the guys or for a task that doesn't involve you. Rather than viewing such occasions as a danger, quietly encourage them---within reason, of course---and let him know that you support his need to have some downtime. It helps reassure him and lets him know that you aren't a threat to his other activities. (And again, you have a reasonable right to expect the same sorts of freedoms in return.)Openness and Trust
Signs of Progress
Allow a Certain Freedom
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by Twisted Taco on February 16th, 2010
Commit what? Suicide? Homocide? To a mental institution?
by lckr on April 3rd, 2010
First of all...you don't "get" a man to commit. If he is not willingly making a committment to you in a way that is obvious to you then perhaps another man is what you need to be pursuing. You shouldn't have to be spending time and energy worrying about how to get him to commit.
by Rayzn on January 24th, 2011
I don't really know how to get someone to commit. I am a male 27 and have never had a problem commiting to a woman if I felt attraction and loved spending plenty of time with them. If it's boring or they don't want to settle down then maybe you are meeting the wrong guys.
by coolbreeze7990 on July 24th, 2010
Well, you can't force a man to commit it has to come naturally. You have to let him come to you and let him love you in order to get him to commit.
by rperry20 on February 4th, 2010
i feel like if a man doesn't want to commit himself to your relationship willingly than you shouldn't even think about it why waste your time when he needs to prove himself to you.
by William_Z2873 on January 20th, 2011
You cannot change a person, unless they want the change within themself.
by Calsario on February 18th, 2010
himmm, i say spend less time with him. Then he will see your tru value. Absence makes the hart grow fonder
by mastercoach on February 16th, 2010
Don't give too much to soon. If you give him everything you've got early on, he doesn't have anything to look forward to or to work for. Also, after you date and it seems to be moving seriously, tell him you want exclusivity (dating only each other). What type of guys are you dating? Were they rolling stones or Male whores before you hooked up. If so, it will be very hard to change them.
by Marky Mark on February 14th, 2010
Work on you "Circle of Influence", not your "Circle of Concern". You may be concerned about the legendary "male inability to commit" but there's nothing you can do about it. You can't force someone to commit. It has to come from within. Only thing you can do is work on yourself. Ask yourself why is this person unable to commit to me. Are your demands and prima donna behaviour putting him off. Maybe you seem high-maintenance. Nobody likes to commit to something that looks like it's going to give them problems. Try to do an objective and honest self-evaluation. Make sure you're someone worth committing to.
by trudy50 on August 9th, 2011
Show him that you're independent. A man tends to feel overwhelmed and bummed when a woman is too needy. Show him that you love him, but that you would also be ok without him. And let it be his decision to commit. Don't talk about it unless he brings it up. I think if he really cares about you, he will not like the fact that you have every right to date someone else if the opportunity arises. After all, there is no commitment yet, Right?
by mrsticky005 on February 12th, 2010
Easy!
1. Be Gorgeous and Beautiful
2. Be Smart and Funny but not Smarter or Funnier than the man
3. Know how to cook and clean
4. Be able to read his mind
5. Be modest and a good nature person
...
In other words be the impossible. :?P
by rtdfrmr on July 29th, 2011
Put his finger, or other part of his anatomy in a vise and squeeze until he says yes.
Oh, wait, you're not talking about committing a sin of swearing?
by Absulote on April 29th, 2011
A man will "commit" when he feels enough attraction to feel like he is "in love" with you. Attraction is nothing more than an emotion. Some thing you can evoke out of anyone by your behavior. go here for more info : http://www.GetRomeoNow.com/indexa.html
Remember its never him.. its always you. Now fix "you"!
by giocomocasanova on February 23rd, 2010
Why not try making it in his best interest to do so??? Is it?? If a man does not think it is His best interest to commit to You, than He should not do so, and no bullying or threats will make a real man do so. http://www.ehow.com/how_5906110_casanova.html
by rebellious angel on March 19th, 2011
you shouldn't have to "get him to commit". He either wants to or doesn't. Don't press the issue. If he doesn't wanna commit and u see the relationship isn't going anywhere, break up with him and find another one who would love the idea of committing to you
by cedx on February 14th, 2010
Simple. You're not happy, let him know.
How do i get a man to commit?
by Answerbag Staff on January 15th, 2010
| 2 people like this
Why is it so easy to wedge ones foot firmly in ones mouth and so difficult to remove it?
by BaileysMom12 COAT of Motherly Love on January 3rd, 2012
| 2 people like this
HELP- NEED TO KNOW IF THIS GIRL LIKES ME?
by Tartags11 on January 13th, 2012
| 1 person likes this
Help with a girl i like, that really likes me
by Simon_M2058 on January 7th, 2012
| 1 person likes this
Friends with benefits - does he love me
by deedeeffrz on January 3rd, 2012
| 1 person likes this
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