Grief is a very individual thing. Therefore, there is no such thing as "normal." Sometimes, the shock of loss is so great that grief takes a while to surface. The important thing is to be kind and patient with yourself- accept whatever is happening. That is exactly what is supposed to be happening. There is no schedule. There are no timetables. Your grief is yours. You get through it in whatever way you see fit.

Absolutely. Sometimes grief doesn't hit someone for a very long time, for many different reasons. Greif is very personal, and how one person grieves is for them, and is no way meant to be how you must grieve.

some time for grief is normal,people grieve in different ways, it should be a process of healing. But careful not to let yourself be consumed in grief, it might become depression.

My cousin was killed by police two days before Hurricane Rita hit. We had to bury him the day she hit. His grave popped out of the ground; but, he remained inside, thank God. His mother's house was nearly ruined by flood water, and nearly every other person in our family either completely lost their homes or had severe damage. She was consumed with getting back into her home, taking care of her invalid husband, helping everyone else to find places to live and getting back into their homes, all while still trying to work. She is in her 70s by the way. She wasn't able to grieve for her son until almost a year later. Then it was like he had just died yesterday. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is no time frame for grief to begin or end.

Of course - and it can be a long time before it does and then one day, there it is. Have you lost somebody?

It can be. It all depends on the loss and the circumstances around the death. I know some people who years later are still dealing with the grief of losing a loved one. And some that barely grieved at all. In my case it hit like a ton of bricks and now it comes in waves like the ocean tides. Mostly it just laps at my feet. And other times it hits me like a tsinami. Aniversaries will be the worst. My condolences on your loss.

well, my father died 2 years ago. it hasn't hit me yet.

Yes - People deal with grief in so many different way's and times - It could be next week or a few years later

Yes, my husband died 3 years ago and it took me over a year to realize he wasn't coming back home. The first year I seemed to be in a daze. The next year things seemed more real. It took my son, who was 5 at the time about 2 years and it has not hit my daughter yet, she was 4 when he passed away. I think everyone is different. I don't think there is a set time or any "rules". It all depends on the person. They say time heals all wounds, but the amount of time isn't stated in that quote, so the best thing to do is move foward and don't live in the past. Look ahead and be thankful for what you have now.

Grief can take a long time before it hits you. Sometimes, a person dies and despite the fact you were close you just don't really feel anything much - at least not what you think you should. For some, it can be 2 years later when it hits them, others longer or shorter. There is no fixed calender of events. When my Dad died (years ago now) it took a long, long time before the feeling of loss began to fade and the sting was gone. Sometimes, you will be quite happily doing whatever years later and something small will happen (like a TV advert) and before you know it, you'll be crying. It takes much time but eventually the pain will lessen.

Yeah, I think it hits you in parts... or sometimes you make yourself so busy that you don't realize it until that day that your not busy...

Yes, it is normal to grieve at a given time, even a long time, after you experience loss. When your body and heart are ready to give up all that stored grief, something will trigger a memory or be another loss, even totally unrelated, the grief will be released as if it just happened. Example: many years ago I understood this when I read about a woman whose child suddenly died. Whether because she felt that she had to be 'strong' for another child or what, she was stoic after the tragic loss, or in shock for a long time. Regardless of the reason, much later the cow died...and she went into tears for many days and her heartfilled thoughts turned to her child and the depth of grief she felt for him was soon gone. However, she like others went through the regular known (per the earliest research on grien in 1979 by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler) steps of grief and came out healthy on the other side. Unfortunately, it is possible to get 'stuck' in one stage of grief and stay there a long time. sometimes a person gets stuck in the anger stage and takes on a different personality for a long time until the true grief is triggered by a situation, a sight seen, a thought, another person, a smell, or other and the angry personality disappears and the person can feel 'normal' again. My aunt became stuck in the sadness, depression step of grief when her youngest son was killed on his 16th birthday in the red sports car she and his father gave him for that birthday. She had never experienced such sadness before. She just couldn't let him go. She just couldn't let herself go...give in to the painful feelings. She even left his room the same way as he did but dusted and kept it nice for 15 years. Finally, her older son died of conditions related to arthritis medications and she grieved for him normally enough to let go of the younger son's bedroom's state. However, she never actually grieved through the first deceased son's death until her husband died another 5 years later. After coming through the grief, she found her way to a healthy heart, smiles and life again. Today she is 93 and survived breast cancer 3 years ago.

What is normal? If you have learnt to let go then you may never experience it.

Nothing in this life is normal only you. Whatever you do is normal for you so accept it and move on when you are ready.

my best friend killed herself 2 years ago on the 27th of this month, and i still think she's just gone away on a short trip or something, i know it will set in at some stage. i can be difficult to phadom life without a loved one ,so denial sets in indefinitly untill we are strong enough to let go and really accept it. sorry for your loss.

I lost my best friend 10+ years ago, and I still grieve just as much, if not more now than I did at the time. I can't put it into words really, but it is more of a remember in a happy way grief now, but it still hurts all the same. That sounds a bit silly reading it back, but the point is that even after ten years it can hurt sometimes

My dad died in 1987. It hit me strong at the time, now....Sometimes it like it just happen, sometime it like it happen in 1987.

My mom died in 1995 and it was a year before I shed the first tear. I was angry and in denial all that time. Even though I have 4 siblings, I handled all the arrangements by myself, so I didn't have time to grieve. I still get very depressed(however, I am functional)during the winter months every year around holidays and her birthday(November 30).

It's totally normal. When you go through hard times, your mind will often protect itself by only giving you small pieces at a time. This can take days, weeks, or in some cases years. It is completely specific to the person and the situation, but be glad when it comes because grieving means you are working through it instead of burying it.

Oh yes. I lost my dad in 1993 and my mum in 2000. I still have days when I cry. It's normal.

Of all the human emotions, grief (berievement) is one of the most powerful. It, at times, takes control over us. Some people will tell you that they can't stop crying for a period of time after having lost loved ones. This is why it is one of those emotions that others in our environment find hard to deal with. Our western society continously tells us that we have to control our emotions and be rational at all times. It is not socially acceptable to display our feelings when they are not happy-happy-joy-joy. Because when we are bouncing of the walls with positivety, everybody wants to see us. With a lot of external pressure and good practice, we have become so good in hiding our feelings and not letting them go that sometimes it appears as if they are not present at all. But that is a mistake, your emotions are defenitely there because as human beings we are programmed to have emotions. It is in our genes. If an emotion is not dealt with, it will show itself sooner or later but show it self, it will. And this is part of the normal, human program. However, the purpose of emotions is not to guide us or let it live us but instead help us to understand, reflect upon and process an experience to the point that we have no emotion attachment to the experience anymore (not the same as forgetting about it). In the case of grief over a loved one, the emotional detachment can take decades and sometimes a live time to take place. In the case of losing a child, the emotional attachment is so unimaginably great, no detachment may ever happen. So why is it important to (eventually) detach emotionally? Because if we don't detach, the emotion (grief, berievement) will run our lives and prohibit us to continue living a proper life. It takes us over. If you allow that to happen, what actually takes place is that every day you live, you are re-living the same emotion. That is not progress! Instead, it is emotional addiction. So to conclude: We all need to go through our emotional cycles but you cannot do that if you don't allow your emotions to display them (to you). Once you have gone through the emotional cycle, put things in perspective and given it a place, you can move on and continue building a great life!

Grief is an individual experience. There are no "normals" really. Everyone is different and I believe each death you grief differently as well.

I think it is totally normal! Most of the time its so unreal that until you realize how tur it is, it doesnt hit you.