You're jealous of his own sister living with him? Why?

That's a little ridiculous. If you're that jealous, you'll never be able to function as a couple for long. It's his SISTER! You should be confindent in your man and let him have fun with his family.

It's good that you recognize your jealousy, and that you're asking for help. Jealousy can do a lot of damage, especially in a case like this where it seems to be a bit out-of-control. Jealousy is a form of insecurity... when we don't feel confident that another loves us and is committed to us, and we believe that we NEED that person a great deal, we're very sensitive to anything which might divert their attention -- it doesn't have to be a competing lover, it can be their work, their hobbies and interests, even their own sister. The first thing to know as a principle is that you have an obligation here to restrain yourself -- to not ACT on your jealousy while she's visiting... you should restrain yourself from making jealousy-based statements, or "acting out" your irritation. This is YOUR issue, not hers... and not your boyfriend's. It's OK to have your feelings and thoughts, but when you act them out or lay them on other people, you cross the line. The point here is to take responsibility for your feelings rather than dramatizing them. The second point is that your attitude and beliefs and feelings about this are rooted in your own past: there's a matrix of ideas you have about yourself and the world which are at the source of the trouble. You probably are NOT going to be able to wave a magic wand and make those feelings and thoughts go away... you're not going to be able to "positive think" yourself into non-jealousy. In order to make progress with something like this, you have to be willing to dive down into the depths of your own mind and heart, and study what's going on -- without judging it, or backing away, or trying to paint it with a sugar-coated brush. What happened? What ideas did you form about yourself? What have you done chronically, year after year, to avoid confronting what happened, to choose being comfortable rather than whole, etc. This kind of self-inquiry can take years to complete, and requires steady effort and commitment. Meditation helps, therapy can help, reading books on the topic can help. But without your sustained effort to get to the bottom of the bathtub and pull the plug on these old tapes, not much will happen. And if you do invest the necessary energy and effort, try to be responsible about it in the mean time: don't lay your jealousy on your partner, or expect him to discard all his other relationships in order to "help". He has a life to study too.

Why would that be? Have they had an extra special relationship that would interfere with yours. I doubt it, thats a lil silly or is it because she has more things then you maybe nicer things & she makes you feel like less. If so, get over it hon no body is any better then anyone else. they may act snottier then someone or brag about everything they may think they have, btw usually they don't own it when they feel the need to brag & boast alot. Or maybe you've cheated on your boyfriend & your afraid her protective sister radar will pick up on it. Or you really want to be like her maybe she has the kind of life you want, or the kind of relationships(job, kids). Maybe you 2 will have fun once you get over your insecuratites

Unless he has a THING for his sister you have nothing to be worried about. If your that jealous with his sister what are you going to do if it was just a random friend?

Maybe you are insecure or jealous of the relationship he and his sister have together. They might have a relationship that you two don't have together. I get like that with my boyfriend. He flirts with his sister and it bugs me because he doesn't play with me like that. I understand how you feel. The thought of your boyfriend and his sister living together and sharing a house for so long is gross, ew.

I totally empathise with you. I'm in the exact same situation and it's driving me crazy. My boyfriend and I live together and are completely in love. However, he has a beautiful younger sister who he pays heaps of attention to whenever she's around. I get on really well with his sister, but my stomach goes in knots whenever they play fight together, or whenever we're on the sofa and he's stroking her hair while she's lying on his lap. I'm not that close to my own family so I'm not used to this (my brother and I don't have that closeness), and I can't help but look upon it as being slightly eerie and creeepy. I've raised it with him which was a big mistake as now he thinks I have a huge issue with it (which I guess I do in fairness). I know that if i want to have a future with him (which I do) that I will have to get over this. I absolutely love what Stableboy said above - it made so much sense. It is totally our problem Ianthe that we feel this way, and we have to take responsibility for it and deal with it. But how? :(

What are you jealous of?

think of all you could accomplish if you aimed that emotion at helping all the starving children in the world instead of wasting it aimed at her

Jealous of his sister,yuk. Why, that's his sister. Has he told you anything different? No need to be jealous of a family member.

I totally understand...my boyfriend is like that with his sister. He is so much closer to her (physically and emotionally) than me even though we'v been together for three years and live together. They sleep together when we stay with them...leaving me and her husband alone. To be honest i find it disgusting but he doesn't get where i'm coming from at all. Its not biologically normal for siblings to have near sexual relationships so you should try and sort out this issue with your boyfriend now before it gets too late.

Get over it. It's just his sister.

I was in the exact same situation and I'll tell you what I did to deal with it. My boyfriend's sister is not only beautiful and intelligent, but also seems like a very nice person. She is obviously a role model in his life and he respects her a lot. He would often brag about her to me which sometimes made me feel sorry for not being more like her. Recently his job transfered him to his sister's city and he's staying with her for 3 weeks till he finds a place. The thought of him having fun with her or her cooking for him for example drove me crazy, because those are things that I wish I could do for him, and not things I want him to be doing with another female, even his sister. I was going insane from jealousy and ashamed of myself at the same time, which made me feel very depressed. So the first thing I did was force myself out of the house to take a walk, and while avoiding any thoughts of his sister, I focused on the positive things in our relationship, like what a wonderful person he is and how lucky I am to be with him, how he's made my life better in so many ways, how proud I would be the day I become his wife, etc. Then when I was finally out of negative town (it took a couple hours, but I told myself to be strong), I looked at myself from his sister's point of view, and realized that if she knew she would probably wish her brother was with a better person, a person that could respect his relationship with his family. I didn't think that was the kind of girlfriend my man deserved either. So I went home, called him and started a pleasant conversation asking him about his day, and talking about random things. I told him how much I miss him and thanked him for everthing he had done that made my life so much better. Then I asked him if he thought I would get along with his sister, and because I had discussed my feelings toward his sister with him before, he seemed surprised but told me he was sure I would. I asked if she would like me and he said there's no way she wouldn't. So I told him well then, tell her I say hi when she wakes up tomorrow...and although he was obviously surprised his reply was "oh sweetheart..." like he was so proud of me and loved me all the more, which made me very proud of myself, feeling like a better person. And somehow my feeling that way melted all my feelings of jealousy and hatred toward her, and I've never felt that way since. Just acting like a better person will actually turn you into a better person, leading you to feel secure about yourself and thus less insecure towards her. Plus it will make your boyfriend's love for you even stronger, and make you feel all the more secure about your relationship with him. I hope this helps you like it has helped me.. good luck!