Do you think its right to put your partially paralyzed mother in an assisted living facility, after taking care of her for over a year. and now starting a new first time marriage?...
by 
EinsteinsKid
ANSWERS: 8
-
I'm not sure if there is a "right" or "wrong" in this situation, but what is best for everyone involved. She may get better help in a facility, and you may not feel resentful. If you do put your mother in a facility, make sure to visit her often to let her know you haven't forgotten her and to make the transition easier.
-
Yes we looked after my Mother in law for 5 years as her senility and dependence got worse she used to scream and cry have hallucinations from the drugs. In the end last July we just could not manage any more . She is now in a facility that costs an absolute fortune but she is no longer taking drugs and although her mind is very confused she is much calmer and better than she was at home. If you have done your best there is nothing to beat yourself with, do not feel guilty and Good Luck
-
I don't see anything wrong with it, personally. She will get all the treatment she needs there. You have a life too, and you have to start living it without feeling guilty. Just make sure you visit OFTEN.
-
there is nothing wrong with it. just don't forget her.
-
Unless she voiced a strong desire not to go into a facility, I would say it is fine. I cared for my mother for several months after heart surgery. Due to complications, I had to help her with everything, including showering, commuting to countless doctors' appointments, physical therapy sessions, and keeping track of medications that could kill her if taken inappropriately (all while juggling my own family). The stress involved in being a 24/7 caregiver is often overlooked or downplayed by those not actively involved. Make the decision that doesn't overly stress your new marriage and works for your family. If your mother opposes the facility, investigate other options, (like an apartment with full time nurse or caregiver). Try to make her happy, but not at the expense of your happiness.
-
Its a matter of the heart. I hope it's not being considered for selfish reasons, just to get her out of the way. If its going to be a win-win sitiuation, then I would agree to place her in the facility. but think about it and dicuss the issue. Too many times people are placed in facilities who have no business there. Visit some first and see how they operate before a final decision is made to place her in one.
-
You should be able to move on with your life. Make sure you find the right home, do your research. Visit as if she was well and living on her own. That should be often, she will need that, plus you can make sure she's being taken care of. I go see my mom 3 or 4 times a week. Good Luck!
-
I WAS GOING TO ANSWER THIS, BUT MY EXPERIENCE IN DEALING WITH EXTENDED CARE FACILITIES MIGHT FRIGHTEN YOU. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE A LIFE OF YOUR OWN, AND IF WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR MOM IS THIS NEW DEVELOPMENT, THEN THAT IS RIGHT. JUST VISIT OFTEN, AND IF YOU CAN, SEND HER DOCTOR IN TO GIVE A ROUTINE PHYSICAL EVERY NOW AND THEN, LIKE A SECOND OPINION TO THE FACILITY'S DOC. ME BEING AN EMT, THE FACILITY WOULD EITHER HAVE TO BE EXTREMELY HIGH CLASS, OR THEY ARE GONNA STAY WITH ME AND I WILL HAVE A NURSE THERE WHILE I WORK. BUT THAT IS WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC