Please Help me. I'm in love w/ my bestfriend who is a female, but there is something complicating our situation: distance. I dont know what to do regarding this incredibly hard situation. More details in My answer below

Welllllll....

In all honesty, it sounds more like a rebound to me.

I once went through some VERY traumatic experiences with my ex-wife and there were a few people, close friends and family, who helped me get through it all.

One of them was a VERY attractive and sweet lady, whom I could VERY well have fallen for. We talked about everything and did a LOT together. But I had to question the reasons behind any feelings I had for her, based on what I was going through. And she did not want to go past the friendship stage, either.

Ever since then, she has been as close as a sister to me...and that's just fine with me. I certainly do NOT want more, as we have both since married to people we very much love.

And did I mention she's like a sister to me? I mean EEEEEEWWWW!

:):):)

Did I ever want it to be more? I'd be lying if I said no. What would I have wanted between us? Again, I'd be lying if I denied wanting a physical relatinship. And more.

But I'm EVER so glad we never did that. Crossing that line make it EXTREMELY difficult, if not virtually impossible, to ever go back to being "friends" afterwards.

She's your best friend...and, at least for now, that's ALL she wants to be. She's TOLD you that.

So let it be. And move on with your life with that understanding.

Someday, MAYBE, things MIGHT change. But you CAN'T plan on that. Nor can you press the issue, if it's not what she wants.

She's your best friend. It's enough for now. Continue the healing, continue with life, and continue having FUN while you do it.

And DON'T allow yourself to be caught in a circular rut thinking about her to the exclusion of all else...especially happiness. That, in itself, is a sign that something isn't healthy about your desires in the long term.

she is your best friend. you should know if you two may live happily and have compatibility. and friendship is indeed a great start for a loving relation. indeed if the girl also loves you and you love her ( but not for her support only and for your selfish reasons ofcourse ), well,
go for it!!
you r lucky if she agrees

You have to decide if it is worth the risk. You said that according to her you are just friends. If this is truly how she feels you can to little to change things and such an emotional raw outpouring of your feelings may prove too much for her to deal with. If you think these feelings may be reciprocated and you face unending turmoil until you at least try for something more, you may want to consider putting your feelings out there. If I could offer one bit of advice - even if what you wrote is a true reflection of how you feel and what you fear, it is pretty intense and could likey be overwhelming and even a little scary for her. If you choose to pursue her, I would tone it down some. Not saying anything is wrong with what you wrote, but it sounds as though your well being is based soley on her feelings toward you. That is a hell of a lot of pressure to put on someone and it may send her running.
Good luck

I'm in a real tough situation. I’m in love with my best friend (I'm a male she is a female), and I really want to be with her but there is one really big problem in between us. We have about 8 driving hours and a lake in between us. It’s been a couple of months and I never planned on having such strong feelings for her and it all started when she was always there when I needed someone to talk to. This year was a very difficult year for me at work, with my friends, at school, basically everywhere I was; it was the single most difficult year I’ve ever had. I could always talk to her about anything anytime for hours and have fun doing it. The last couple of months though I have fallen deeply in love with her. I've been in love before but nothing like this, every where I am, everywhere I go, I think of her. I even often get lost just from standing still. I love her to pieces and I know she loves me too cause we tell each other all the time and she knows I want to be with her but the distance is a huge obstacle. At the moment I don’t have a great deal of capital where I can travel frequently. Just hearing her voice puts me in a state of bliss as if I was on cloud nine, she doesn’t know but she makes me real nervous all the time. I've never been so physically attracted to someone and she is so smart but even those are not the reasons why I love her because even though she is as exquisite as a goddess or as gorgeous as a supermodel, I love her for much more then that-- she has the kindest heart and is a real terrific person and the funniest person in the world, her sense of humor is out of this world, she is overall in one word: wonderful; and leaves me breathless. I find my heart racing frequently every time I think of her.
We often talk about what our current relationship is defined as when I tell her it’s up to her to decide that because I don’t want to force her to be with me if it’s going to be a heartache for her and I tell her no matter what she says I will always be there for her; she said we're just friends. I wouldn't be mad if she see's other people but just the thought breaks me down, and I would help her through any problems she may have if she were with anyone because we really are close and I just want her to be happy and I’m there for whatever she needs me to be but truth is I don’t see her as just friends. I can’t picture my life without her anymore and I could see myself in the future with her for a long time, we even told each other it would be great if it happened one day, and she even said it’s her dream to be in the city I live in. We even told each other we would have puppies together if she were here.
She also doesn’t know I cry over this situation every night wishing things could be easier, wishing we could be closer in distance. Sometimes even I might seem too her I think as anxious about this situation but it’s only because of the distance dilemma. I’m much mellower and would be if she wasn’t so far. Over the last year my confidence has diminished because of the rough year I had and I get so worried because she can be swept away by somebody at anytime. Normally she would be the one I would talk to about this but I can’t keep telling her how much I’m in love with her if were just friends, that would complicate things so much and I know that’s not what she wants if she just wants to be friends but now I have nowhere else to turn. We both told each other that at one point or another we thought about just walking away from each other to avoid potential heartache but keep gravitating back towards each other, I know I do it because I can’t be without her; I need her in my life.
I feel that men have been foolish to have left her but I don’t want to lose the chance by not even taking the opportunity. I don’t want to sit and look back one day what could have happened; I want to know I took the chance to at least find out before somebody else seizes the opportunity. I know they say if it’s meant to happen it will happen but then also you have the ability to make your own luck. It could be one step at a time but if I take too long to take a step, I can lose her to someone that takes a quicker step. I don’t want to regret not giving it my best chance to be with her because tomorrow can always be too late because life is too short.

I can't sleep normally anymore, I just don't know what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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