I would have said thanks for making me want to crawl in a hole and die lady.

How could you know?! I think the look on your face after she said that likely spoke volumes...no words necessary. Your comment wasn't apathetic.

Sounds like you had already said everything she wished for. First you asked how her day was...so she got to say it could be better. Then you said keep your head up, wine helps...so she got to say "I have cancer". Really how much more venting opportunities should she expect from you? You ended it the only dignified way you could.

She should go through *Joy's* line. (Not her real name.) She works at some Mom and Pop around here and when you ask her how she is she always says she is blessed. She is wonderful, caring, and always makes you feel better. I see her every week and if I weren't married I would be asking *Joy* out. :) Basically it's about attitude. Just be positive with your cashier and try to get her to enjoy the blessing of being alive and able to work dispite her illness.

Someone said the sign of class is someone who never says anything to make others uncomfortable. In my opinion she was wrong to have said that to you in the first place. I mean how did she think it would make anyone feel? You did exactly what you should have done and don't beat yourself up for not having a better response. Under the circumstances you did very well.

I don't believe you said anything wrong. I don't necessarily think the cashier did , either - - though it might have been nice of her to add to you, " No apology needed -- it helped me just to vent a bit. " or - " Sorry, I was just venting a bit - - it was unfair of me to throw that on you. " Maybe she is at a point in her cancer that she is completely accepting in her situation, in that, she was just stating a fact ( she shouldn't drink ) and perhaps she is sometimes unaware of how her words are taken -- just like all of us do from time to time. And I now am entering my usual LaLaLand area of all sorts of scenarios and over-analyzing! Gets myself into some unneeded anxiety sometimes for myself. :) [ That'd be another interesting question, possibly- - "Is it a person-with-a-condition's "responsibility" to always be upbeat about their condition with others and to make others feel comfortable if the condition comes up in a conversation?" But in this situation, she brought the subject up - - some extra words of 'it's OK, it's not your doing' to you might have been nice. ] Geez - just shove some pizza at me and I'll shut up! Ha! +5