ANSWERS: 24
  • well tell him you only lied because you were embarresed or you wanted to be a different person for him, tell him you wanted to come clean after all these years because you felt guilt at the lie but fdidnt know how to break it to him, tell him that it doesnt make you a different persona t all, obviously you didnt give him HIV so he shouldnt see you as any different the only reason he can be mad is the lie wich you should understand its a long time to hold that back
  • Other than sincerely apologizing and making no excuses for the initial lie there is nothing you can do. He is the one that has to decide if the lie and 5 additional, non-important, faceless sexual partners is more important to him than his 8 year marriage. If his has any maturity at all he will quickly grasp that it is in the past and he should leave it there.
  • Honesty and trust are what a relationship is based on and once it's gone you usually can't get it back. Try to explain to him that you were only a teenager and were embarassed. Those are the kind of questions I have learned not to ask cuz I don't want to know the answer.
  • That seems like a silly reason to split up over when you've been faithful to each other for eight years. He might reconsider his position if he has time to cool down. ... However, I can understand how someone who thinks they've found their soulmate does not want to envision the love of their life sharing intamacy with other partners. But, as akward as that is, it shouldn't destroy a good relationship that has lasted eight years.
  • I honestly don't see why he would act like that after having a long marriage with you where he was otherwise happy.
  • Well that's why you wait so you don't have to worry that a future spouse thinks your a tramp. Ask his forgiveness and try to be a good wife to him.
  • 3 or 8. What's the freakin' difference? I think he's got other issues. That's no reason to split with someone.
  • I can certainly understand his feeling hurt because you lied to him. But after eight years of being together wanting nothing to do with you? What I would do is acknowledge that you were wrong and try to communicate with him. If he is so unforgiving and closed off that he won't even try? Good riddance because that's certainly not the kind of man I'd want to be with for the rest of my life. Has he never made a mistake himself? Especially as a teenager? Is his love for you so easy to walk away from? Then maybe it's not a love worth keeping for you either.
  • 1) There are obvious reasons why in some situations we prefer to lie. And there are not so obvious reasons why we sometimes are not able to live forever with a lie. You wanted to stop the lie, but it cannot be absolutely suppressed. So you can only ask for forgiveness, but there is not much more you can do. You could also try to understand his point of view, and why it could be very difficult, and in some cases impossible, to forgive this. Maybe some lies better stay untold. 2) Let' look at it from the other perspective: "MY girlfriend told me she had only slept with two other men before she met me and had never had an orgasm before. But I have since found out that she has had many lovers-in fact, someone told me she used to have a reputation for putting it about. Can I trust her after she lied to me about her past? I am inexperienced so I was happy when she told me she'd only been to bed with two men and that the sex had been nothing special. I haven't said anything to her but I feel shattered-not because of who she slept with, but because she wasn't honest. If she can lie about that, what else could she lie about? - Jane says: MAYBE she was ashamed of her sexual history and thought you might think less of her if you knew the truth. It may well be true that before you, her sexual experience was nothing special even though she had more lovers than she let on. Give her a chance to explain." Source and further information: http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/lifestyle/dear_jane/38936/Irsquom-scared-my-former-sex-buddy-will-tell-my-partner.html
  • Since it has been so long and over something small, it sounds like he is angry about something else and using that as a smokescreen...
  • I say move on girl ... If he loved you enough he would understand you did it for fear of rejection at start ... What man would care so much about womans sexual past providing she loves only him since ... Perhaps he has used this as an excuse and he really wanted a way out either way? How honest do you think he has been with you? ... We all have our little secrets and I for one would not give up a great love because of a pathetic little secret of 5 or 6 ex lovers from her past ... A love had and lost is better than no love at all ... and each love gone helps us find a more desirable love to come. You will be fine ... Goodluck!
  • Boy, that's a really harsh judgement he made. I can only imagine he was looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship anyway, and seized this cowardly opportunity to get out while holding the moral upper hand. I do not know what you should do, though. My sympathies.
  • He will see it as you having lied and deceived him for the last 8 years. His trust in you will be gone and maybe he thinks less of you for the number if people you slept with??? (which is not that much) give him time to cool off then have a very open and honest conversation with him. Tell him how sorry you are and ask him is there is anything you can do to help resolve the situation. It might be some time till he gets over this as trust will now be an issue. Lastly LEARN from this as hiding things from your partner for such a long period of time was not really a good idea was it? Things like this will always be found out in the end. Best to be as open and honest as you can even if it feels uncomfortable. No worth it in the end!
  • although 3 ,8, 10,whatever should mean nothing and it was your past, you chose at the time to lie. whats the differenc? but now, hes wondering what else you lied about. remember it works both ways and youve got to get things into perspective here, if hes willing to give you up over such a trivial thing, the hes been lying too -about his love for you. if he loves you he will forgive your little white lie on your part to save face:)
  • What do you bet that was more than he had and he is macho-jealous? Otherwise, what is the big deal, it's before him.
  • Why do people ask questions such as these? "How many partners have you had?" There are things that a couple should NEVER ask each other precisely because they are a couple. Anyways I'm sorry for my digression, you lied and so now he may question everything to do with you. You broke the trust that he gave you, but he's over-reacting if that's all. He may forgive you in time, but I'm sorry to say that he may never trust you to the same degree ever again.
  • he is being whinney, it is not like it has changed you or anything. it really dose not matter. besides how many has he had? just wait out the storm and things should be alright
  • Tell him you lied to him about your previous partners, because you loved him too much for him to dump you as a slut. But you've tried to come to terms with this one untruth over the years, and your love for him cannot let you continue to live this lie. So you decided to come clean, HOPING he would understand. Tell him also that you've never cheated, and do not intend to whatever happens, and that if he could set aside this little transgression on your part, you could both have a very happy marriage. You both have many years of togetherness ahead of you. Make them happy. Also, that there isn't any thing else you've lied to him about, and that you've accepted everything he's said about himself without question. It's not something to break a marriage over. Let bygones indeed be bygones. If he's a real man, he'll come around.
  • Why does it matter? . You were popular with the guys. That means you were probably hot. If he wants someone untouched, tell him to find an ugly troll to date. Nobody wants them.
  • how many partners you had are none of his buisness... unless of course you plan to marry him, if that question came up,then he had the right to know the truth before you two made your vows... You lied to him, you failed to tell him the truth after 8 years together. THAT is the big problem, had you told him the truth, would he still have married you? You may feel comfortable being with so many men at such a young age, but he may not feel comfortable being married to someone like that... You broke his trust, probably forever, and sadly, without trust, most relationships dont last. As hard as this may seem for the both of you right now, if you have any children, they are the ones that are trully going to suffer.
  • Just say they meant nothing.
  • Thank your lucky stars you found out what a jerk he is now, instead of later, when you had alot of time invested in this so called partnership.
  • Hmmm; and how many has he had?! I'm wondering if it's a double-standard. If he's had more than just you; you could have snubbed him in the same way. Have you cheated on him? If not; why does it even matter to him since it was before you were with him? If he's this judgemental with something that shouldn't even matter; maybe you need to find someone more grown-up. I'm sorry for you. I would just try to talk to him and ask him why it even matters to him. It really, really shouldn't have any bearing on your relationship with him since it was before you were together.
  • I dont find any mistake in this as she told truth and that was also not required further it makes no difference whether 3 or 8. He should think if he were in her position what he want to do?and he should have told that 'he has nothing to do with it as already lapsed 8 years. The question is if not informed what will be the status?. The same status to be continued.

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