Well, all i can say is thank god you, her parent, see him for what he is and dont blame her! i was in some abusive relationships...and my parents blame me for getting out of them. 'if you werent so hot headed he wouldnt do that' 'you just have to ignore what he says' (when they would put me down. because their relationships have not been healthy, they expect that mine will be like that too and it is 'normal'. So one great step is you realise. Have you tried talking to her? (im sure you have otherwise you wouldnt be asking)...in a non-accusatory way. like, if you say 'get away from him' that kind of thing, she will no doubt get closer to him. it is hard, the victim often thinks it is their fault and cant see wrong in the perpetrator. Have you tried sending her to a psychologist? that is what really helped me realsie that HE was in the wrong. NOT me. its really hard for you, but i think the best you can do is listen to her when she talks (and gently correct things she says that are wrong, like when she blames herself) say 'i know what you mean, and see what you're saying BUT its actually not your fault, you are a wonderful, beautiful, funny, smart girl and it is HIM that is treating you badly.' and 'you deserve to be treated like a princess, even when you arent acting perfectly, he has no right to say/ do those things to you. no body does.' i dont know...sorry its not much help but it is something that will take time and she needs to work on the way she is thinking about herself and what she is putting up with...main thing- try not to 'let' her go back to him (i know that is easier to say than do'...try go out and have girls days/ nights.

I don't know the answer but maybe it would help to ask her what she wants in a relationship and what does she think she deserves and what does she think she needs to do to get it? Sometimes people get so wrapped up in there feelings and don't look at themselves properly. Sit and go over the points you may feel would be negative and give her an objective view as if you were a stranger looking at her life for the first time. You can't do anything about the ex but you can help her to see she deserves better than shes getting and that its something she should demand. Good Luck I hope this helped.

As much as you would like to fix this for her, she is the only one who can fix it. If she doesn't struggle through making sense of what happened in this relationship because you do too much for her, she is at risk of entering this kind of relationship again. Encourage her by supporting her in the background and by telling her that you are confident that she will bounce back from this because she is strong. Far stronger than her abuser will ever be.