ANSWERS: 3
  • ...maybe something else is going on with her...I have been through this and the person was so unhappy and having issues in her life she took it out on those closest to her.. talk it out with her....that is what a friend would do..
  • I think there's basically 2 approaches to this kind of thing: 1. Dump her. Nice and simple. 2. Retrain her... that means understanding what "boundaries" means. You have to stand up for your right to be treated with respect and courtesy, and push back when someone isn't doing that. The pushing-back should ideally be done respectfully but firmly, e.g. "I'm sorry, but the way you're talking to me isn't acceptable. If you want this conversation to continue, please tone it down". If someone doesn't respond to that kind of boundary-setting effort after a while, I'd say it's back to step #1.
  • I would say that you're asking the wrong question. Asking "Why are things as bad as they are?" (or forms of that question) lead you to "reasons why the world is fucked up" (or some subset, as you noted in your own Q) ... and don't help you get to a resolution. The question you might want to consider instead is: "How can I maintain a good relationship with my friend?" That's a question whose answers will be more apt to lead to actual solutions to the problem you face. You could ask this Q in any number of ways: From: How can I get along better with my friend? To: How can I get my friend to be nicer more often? Notice that both questions contain "How can I ..." roots. These questions are for YOU to answer for YOUR OWN application to YOUR life. That is, you'll be brainstorming FOR YOURSELF to see what YOU can do to make your own life better. And when you find the answer, you'll be that much more capable in the world ... and have a better relationship with your friend. (And if you can teach her to ask the Q of herself: "How can I be nicer more often to MY good friend?", then you'll be spreading the win.)

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