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by gtravels loves her life penguin on March 27th, 2007

gtravels loves her life penguin

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I have a great-aunt in a nursing home. I know how much she needs company, but I find it incredibly difficult to visit her. Brings up all of my worst fears about sickness and death. How can I get past my selfishness and see her more often?

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Answers. 9 helpful answers below.

  • by Anonymous on March 27th, 2007

    Anonymous

    I think we all feel this way about nursing homes. but, what price can you pay, for the smile we receive, when someone we love sees us walk in the door, at a nursing home?

    Its priceless.

    Nursing homes are downers, but remember, one day we may be sitting in a wheelchair, hoping to see someone walk in the door to brighten a very gloomy, elderly person.

    Don't just visit, take them small things they enjoy, like photos of the family, body powder etc.

    You may be looking at yourself one day, in the same wheelchair.

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  • by Fun on March 27th, 2007

    Fun

    Okay. In the grand scheme of things, yes everyone dies and gets sick. But your time for that is probably not for a while. Hers is right now. Think about how lonely and sad you would be if no one visited you. Just think, you visiting could bring joy and wellness to her LIFE.

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  • by Rinky Dinky Do on July 23rd, 2009

    Rinky Dinky Do

    Get drunk before you go see her

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  • by Grammy Robin on March 27th, 2007

    Grammy Robin

    I work in a nursing home. When I first started almost six years ago, I thought "You'll never be able to work here, seeing all these people get sick and die!" Not just the elderly, but people as young as 40. I really didn't think I would last six months, let alone six years!!! It has really helped me to grow and understand that everyone has to die at some time.

    Everyone in a nursing home needs outside influence. Even the residents who have members of their families and friends visit them EVERY day, still love it when someone else goes out of their way to say "Hi, how are you today." I try to get upstairs and least once a day, to say hello to those I have gotten to know over the years. We have a brother and sister, who still visit our facility. Their brother passed over four years ago. Most of the staff would lost without seeing them several times a week, greeting staff and visitor who come to our facility every day.

    Is it hard when they pass? OH GOD YES!!! But they have to be in a better place or at least not suffering, as I've seen.

    If it's really that difficult for you, PLEASE ask to speak with a Social Worker, explain your fear. They WILL help you! I send people to see ours every day.

    Try it, it might just surprise you, the friendships you can make.

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  • by Nellie Wise Gamgee on March 27th, 2007

    Nellie Wise Gamgee

    i think the more you go the less difficult it will be and when you look back on it you will be grateful for the time you were able to spend with her. You may even wish you had spent MORE time with her.

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  • by iDeath on December 26th, 2009

    iDeath

    Drink heavily first

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  • by Angelsite on July 23rd, 2009

    Angelsite

    I see alot of answers that say about basically grinning and bearing it. How sick is she? Have you thought about takeing her out? Talk to the people that work there and see if it is possible to take her out to lunch or something, if you are able to safely transport her that is

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  • by Sosueme on January 30th, 2009

    Sosueme

    You just have to bite the bullet. I did it for five years with my dad before he passed. No two ways about it, it sucks and is quite depressing. I used to bring my dog with me. She distracted my thoughts somewhat and also made a lot of the older people smile. The smiles distracted me from the fact that most were in wheelchairs and half of them were senile. Best of luck with your aunt.

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  • by ccpen123 on January 30th, 2009

    ccpen123

    Death and Sickness is a fear I think 95.9% of the people on this earth have... So your not alone... You need to see it from your aunts eyes, I am sure that seeing you come in to visit makes her day.. she most likely alone most of the time and seeing you makes her smile... YOu can have your fears, but think of hers as well... I am sure that being in a home is not the place she wants to be... So put aside all your fear and see her... If not once a week, once a month... Remember this, I don't want to be harsh or upsetting, but think, if the tables were turned and you were the one in the home, how would you feel if no one came to see you????? I wanna you would feel alone... See her for 30 minutes, bring some cards and play a card game with her.. Show her that she still matters and that you are gonna be there for her... You don't have to get over any fear, just see that your fears are yours and that staying away from her when she needs you the most is selfish, but I know what you feel... I can't tell you how much I fear dying or being sick.. I can just tell you that your not alone.... I am sorry if I am being you know ewwwwwwwwwwww, but I am just saying that with my fears I would have to go aside of them... So you know, I am sure that you do. Sickness and Death are part of our lives everyday... I wish I had hours to tell you how death has effected me, but I don't. See her and love her thats all I can say. good luck !!!

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