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by pouncey on October 30th, 2009

pouncey

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I never really had a mom. She was just not capable of taking care of me and I was raised by my dad. Every time I hear about anything to do with moms I get sad and feel like crying. How do I get over this?

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Answers. 10 helpful answers below.

  • by Sixty B - Commander Topcoat on October 30th, 2009

    Sixty B - Commander Topcoat

    I miss my mom, too, because she was not capable either - story aside -

    What you do is move on. You take the love with you, recognizing what emotional well was dry and what was filled up, and you live with lots of love in your heart. You don't lash out in anger and pain, but rather, you savor the love and goodness in your life and strive to be better. You make yourself whole and not damaged because... even your mom is just a person who made a mistake somewhere along the way.

    You forgive. You accept. You don't take any type of blame, and you realize that you can have a lot of people who fulfill roles of love in your life without them being your mother. Your mother is always your mother, and that can be OK.

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  • by Wind in the Willow on October 30th, 2009

    Wind in the Willow

    Get some books about people who have no parents at all. Write down all the wonderful things you have because of your wonderful dad.

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  • by Christina on October 30th, 2009

    Christina

    As much as I hate to say it, you will probably never "get over it", but if I may I will suggest that you think of all the wonderful time you had with your father whenever you start to get sad.

    I grew up without a father, it was hard, and I know the feeling you are talking about. The only thing that makes me feel better is thinking about how much my mother loved me and the great times we had together. I hope this helps! Best of Luck. +4

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  • by zwatcher on October 30th, 2009

    zwatcher

    borrow mine for a week
    if the lying, stealing, selfish greedy "i want one to, and it has to be bigger and better than yours" no matter what it is just because you have one doesn't drive you to be glad you never had one, the constant throwing your stuff away or moving it because she's bored and filling the house with everything that creeps, crawls, swims, slithers or flies that she can get her hands on (usually with your misappropriated money) surely will.
    not to mention the suicide threats if she doesn't get her way

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  • by Anonymous on October 30th, 2009

    Anonymous

    Maybe you need to find a good, positive female role model. A mentor who can partially fill that role that leaves a hollow space inside you. +5

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  • by HoboJoe on October 30th, 2009

    HoboJoe

    First of all, Congrats for reaching Sage, pouncey.
    =
    I don't think you get over it. You just learn to live with it. And be a good mother. Make your kids proud of you.

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  • by jaydee on October 30th, 2009

    jaydee

    You can get over it by realizing that whether you had a mother or a father is not the reason you are unhappy. You are unhappy because you are choosing to be and you will begin to be happy for the same reason. I had neither a functioning mom or dad and I don't sob in my pillow over that. I have a wonderful life now and I don't look back..my parents were the losers because they were too busy being co dependent with not any room for anyone else. Many others have had deficient parents and go on to be successful and happy in their lives..you can too.

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  • by DudeLer 2 on November 1st, 2009

    DudeLer 2

    you could just let loose and have that cry,
    it would do you a world of good.
    nothing beats a good cry.
    holding it back
    can do damage to your body.

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  • by Rin on October 30th, 2009

    Rin

    well, i feel the same, but about my dad. he's so immature sometimes, and i was never hugged by him. it's the way of life unfortunately.

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  • by kittygoesmoo- engaged...finally on November 6th, 2009

    kittygoesmoo- engaged...finally

    I have no idea, but I'm sure if you ever become a mother and show your kids all the love and respect they need, maybe then you'll feel better about it. You could also learn from her mistakes and promise yourself that you wont carry on the cycle.

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