- NEW!
by angus1 on October 8th, 2009
He has the right to tell everyone that she knows that she killed his child. He has the right to place an ad in the newspaper and post it on every blog on the web.
He has the right to make and wear T-shirts saying that she killed his (their) child against his wishes and that he will never forgive her and never stop telling people about it.
He can't stop her but he can make her pay.
by The Chief on October 8th, 2009
You know, this whole issue of who has what rights when it comes to pregnancy and having or not having children really P*SSES ME THE F*CK OFF!
What rights SHOULD the father have in this case? "Should" doesn't come into the picture. The father DOESN'T HAVE ANY RIGHTS to the unborn child according to the laws in our country! (America) If this "right" is so important, the time to consider this is BEFORE the pregnancy occured!
HERE ARE THE RIGHTS PEOPLE REALLY HAVE WITH RESPECT TO SEXUAL ACTIVITIES:
1. You have the right to know that ANY act of sexual intercourse MAY result in a pregnancy, whether you want it or not.
2. You have the right to know that if a pregnancy occurs, the man's "rights", the woman's "rights", and the unborn baby's "rights" are all going to be f*cked up and will NOT be fair to SOMEBODY. PERIOD.
3. If you are the man, you have the right NOT to risk depositing a load of sugar into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, which will keep the factory from pumping out an Everlasting Gobstopper that may require your undivided attention for the next 20 years.
4. If you are the woman, you have the right to deny entry into your port by any savvy Sailor on liberty looking for any port in a storm.
5. If you are the man and you DO get your girlfriend pregnant, you have the right to have a nice, steaming hot cup of "shut the f*ck up" when it comes to the womans decision to keep or to abort her baby.
6. If you are the woman and you get pregnant, you have the right to decide whether or not to have the baby over anybody elses objections.
7. If you are the man and your girfriend decides to have the baby, you have the right to pay child support for the next 18 to 22 years, whether you want the child or not, and whether you get to see the child much or not.
8. If you and your girlfriend find out about an unwanted pregnancy, you both have the right to panic, worry yourselves sick, figure out how this is going to totally screw up your plans, and finally figure out how the heck you're going to raise the baby, should he be born.
9. And finally, you have the right to use 20-20 hindsight to ask yourselves "What the f*ck were we thinking?"
BEFORE ALL THIS STARTED, you had the right to control your own destiny, for the most part. Afterwards, you start losing control.
MILLIONS OF YOUNG ADULTS EVERY YEAR end up with an unwanted pregnancy or having a girlfriend with an unwanted pregnancy.
WHAT DO THEY ALL HAVE IN COMMON?
They want the 'right' to have sex without any of the responsibilities that go along with it.
Ain't no such thing.
And millions of young adults (and to be totally fair, grown adults as well) absolutely INSIST on trying to prove to the untold millions who have gone before that they are going to be different.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 7th, 2009
when I am emperor an unbound man (not marriage or other agreement granting him parenthood) has absolutly no rights over any children made by his sperm unless the mother agrees to give him those rights... likewise he has no responsibility to those children unless HE agrees to take those responsibility. nature made child baring a woman burden and as such if there is no other agreement all rights and responsibilities fall to her.
but I do not yet rule the world and the woman can force responsibility for the baby on the man but he can not force her to be responsible for the baby.
by SABOTEUR on October 7th, 2009
The RIGHT to think about these things PRIOR to sexual intimacy.
The RIGHT to contemplate the alternative of paying 18 years of child support payments.
The RIGHT to keep his trousers up.
by Piratebooty on October 7th, 2009
It is the woman's right, but the father should be taken into consideration as well. I would hate to be cast to the side just because I was not the one carrying it. This child will be of the same blood as both people. I would say the father at least has some rights to say what he wishes and then they should discuss it.
by Marika1970 on October 7th, 2009
It's up to the woman if she wants to continue the pregnancy or not. If she goes for the abortion, I hope she does it as early as possible (first trimester). I'm pro-choice, but I don't believe in late-term abortions unless there is some extenuating circumstances such as a life-threatening situation.
by Prunesquallor on October 15th, 2009
It took two to create the child. Any decision should be made by both the people responsible. But if the father wishes her to carry the child, he must be aware that from now on he will have a financial, emotional and moral responsibility for its upbringing.
by lonelydragon on October 13th, 2009
He should be allowed to give his input, but ultimately the choice belongs to the female, since she carries the fetus in her body and will probably assume most (if not all) of the responsibility of caring for the child.
by Bob on October 7th, 2009
none. it's her choice whether to have the child or have an abortion. he might try to talk it over with her. either way, he has the duty to provide support / child support.
by Djinn on October 19th, 2009
I think he should be able to sue for the abortion. I do not believe he should be able to force her to have it, however if she wants it and he doesn't he should be able to go to court pay the highest rate for a medical abortion and then no longer have any rights to the child what so ever. If the Mom takes the money but has the kid then she chooses to have a child on her own and can not go for support. I also think this should work in reverse if the woman wants to abort but the man wants his child again he should be able to sue if he wins again no one should be able to stop the mom from doing whatever she wants with her body but regardless of if she has the child or aborts the child she would then have to pay 18 years of support to the man. Fair is fair and its sickening to see all these selfish women give there kids poorer lives than the father could have provided just because they are to selfish to let the Dad raise them. +2
by ANONYMOUS on October 13th, 2009
When the world finally realizes these are real lives they are ending and little people they are throwing away like trash... Then maybe, men will have rights regarding their unborn children. In the meantime people need to live responsibly and not have sex unless they're prepared to accept ALL the possible outcomes of that act. Which would include but are not limited to: an unplanned pregnancy, a girlfriend that doesn't want to be pregnant and will end that life. That is always a risk that you take when you have sex. Whether you take precautions or not and I hope that you do, there is always a chance of a pregnancy. Birth control is not fail safe.
by Wynper on October 13th, 2009
You had the right to not impregnate her.
There would be no question here had you been responsible.
I just love seeing comments like "the slut doesn't want to have a baby" If the male in this equation wasn't an irresponsible slut there would be no pregnancy but somehow the woman is a slut and the man is an innocent deprived of his rights? Bull!
If that is your attitude I pity your mother's, nieces, wives and daughters.
Hypocritical pigs!
by Eclipse sleeping by moonlight on October 8th, 2009
As far as I'm concerned (note - I am male), males should have no say in the matter of abortion unless they are married to or legally cohabitating with the woman who wants to have such an abortion. Otherwise, she's "Single" and it's her business (and her rights).
by randomness - is now a Maestro on October 7th, 2009
No matter what people would like to think, men and women are not the same. I believe that men and women are equal, but equal does not mean identical. Biology dictates this one, the WOMAN is the one who is pregnant, it is her body, she has the final say on what she does regarding the pregnancy.
-
However, it is also worthy to note that I think pregnant women seeking abortion should usually contact the man involved and discuss it with him. I don't think that the woman should be forced or legally required to do this, but I do think that it is a good thing to do. If I was pregnant, I would be making the final decision regarding abortion/adoption/keeping it, however, I would want to consult my partner first, and discuss his views on the subject. It's the decent thing to do.
by jin jang on October 7th, 2009
From my understanding it is the woman(single,living together,or married) that has the final say on if they get an abortion.
by Lonely - Rebel - AYPWIP on October 17th, 2009
None
by TheJoker on October 15th, 2009
Basically none. As the woman has to carry the baby, the final decision should always be hers. You would rather hope that if a couple are having sex they would have discussed this possibility so they both knew what to expect..... but then personal responsibility isn't something our culture cherishes much anymore.
by Vaporeongirl on October 15th, 2009
None, he probably won't help her take care of it. And, even if he would, it's her body not his.
by SoulSearcher on October 13th, 2009
Fathers should have all kinds of rights but should isn't good enough. Women seem to forget that the child, born or unborn is also part of the man. The laws are set up to favor women in just about anything dealing with a child, born or unborn.
by Gingerminx on October 7th, 2009
The same rights he has now.
by Devin on October 28th, 2009
The right to have nothing to do with her ever again if she chooses to abort, and the right to have nothing to do with her and the baby if she chooses to give birth.
by JenniferRuth on October 19th, 2009
Jeremy - Yes, what qualifies as a person is and will always be open for debate. So what is the point? That is the *whole* point! If you can't have the debate and have the majority come to some sort on agreement then no-one would ever be able to make decisions about anything! Also, you must realise that people often change their minds, right? If people just went "oh, no-one is ever going to agree" then the anti-abortion movement would have given up looooong ago.
And remember - no-one is ever going to make you have an abortion. Plus, you say abortions of convenience like it is a bad thing. Because if I was financially unstable or unable to provide a good environment to raise a child I would probably have an abortion - and that would be one of convenience.
Contraception is a much better solution to abortion than telling women just to go through with all their pregnancies whether it is a good idea or not. And if women didn't have abortions, who is going to pay for the welfare, the benefits, the health insurance, the mouths to feed, the crime increase, the education, the housing? Just sayin'...
by Shemarq the Wamama on February 28th, 2011
He had the right to wear a condom or get a vasectomy prior to knocking her up.
He had the right not to have sex.
He has no right over her body though.
by AnonymousGirl on February 28th, 2011
If he is the father, he should get a say. I think it would be absolutely cruel of me to deny a guy the right to have a say if he got me pregnant. It takes two, not one.
Personally, I prefer talking to a guy about what will happen if I do end up getting pregnant before we even decide to participate in activity that could end up with me being pregnant. It's a safety precaution and I'm sure that would get rid of a lot of complications. This way, we both know exactly where we stand on the matter. If a guy isn't willing to have that talk, it tells me he's not "responsible enough" to be having sex.
by strange1 still in pb on October 17th, 2009
whatever rights her society/laws has given to her i suppose, this subject is so complicated and is so diverse with every country/religeon/law
by bigsimba22 on February 28th, 2011
If it's not my kid, work it out on you own. If it IS my kid, live with my son for nine months or die with him, the choice is still hers.
Nah, just kidding, but the father should be able to put in writing that he does not want his child aborted. They should have a new law where if the father says "yes" to the abortion or provides no input, the mother should be able to choose. If the father says "no", then the mother should be forced to carry the baby to full term, with the understanding that (1) The father must provide for all healthcare costs necessary while the child is in vitro, and (2) upon birth of the child, all rights and responsibilities to the child lie with the father and his family, the mother has neither any rights to speak of, nor any responsibility or obligation to pay child support to the father.
There still may be gender biases either way, and trust me if it was humanly possible, I would be willing to take the nine month burden off my partner and carry the child myself to spare his/her life, but unfortunately, humans weren't designed that way. A law like this may be far from perfect, but it's a step in the right direction.
by mikedsign on March 2nd, 2011
On one occasion when I was 15 my GF and I got pregnant(yes I say that). I told her it would be impossible for us to raise a child properly. She was 14 she ended up getting an abortion. Her mother was willing to help her father in jail. My mother and father totally opposed. Torn already I became further depressed. she thought i didn't love her she was my first love we were both virgins before. I dated another two girls throughout HS. Both i found out recently, were pregnant and never told me, both aborted. Mind you the relationships were about 6 mo apart both lasting 2 years each. Ended possibly over the cover ups and until recently I never knew why. The last time I was in college, again with her for two years and I still love her. She actually asked me what we should do. I was a coward I said I don't know what to do and left the decision to her. She aborted. there isn't a single day i don't think about it. it tortures me. Ladies if a man wants the kid let him have the kid. sever ties if you want but its the most horrible feeling its only 9 months. I'm a killer my only regret ever. If i died tomorrow even though I have accomplished so many great things and gave so much love and hope to the world. I will feel as if I still failed at life. Ultimately it was up to her but i will never forgive myself. disagree if you will but i will never feel like i didn't stifle out the life of part of me. Please don't like, dislike, or even comment on this i may actually kill myself. i know i deserve this pain. If you feel you have to NEVER TELL HIM. Its you bed lay in it.
Who performs abortions?
by Answerbag Staff on June 16th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Pro-Choice people: Should a conjoined twin have the right to separate from their twin even if they know it would kill the twin?
by tibear on December 7th, 2011
| 3 people like this
How late can abortion be legally accomplished?
by Answerbag Staff on June 16th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
How much will an abortion cost if you are on Medicare?
by Answerbag Staff on June 15th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
would it be better if abortions were illegal after 10 weeks?
by Michael on December 22nd, 2011
| 1 person likes this
You're reading What rights should the father have if his unmarried girlfriend wants an abortion.?
Your favorite Q&A site is on Facebook! Become a fan to connect with the ever-growing community of Answerbaggers, share your thoughts and find out what Answerbag's up to next!
Comments
lol wtf? you are insane.
by Nutsy_Rail on October 8th, 2009
No, not at all. Killing a kid - now, that's insane.
by angus1 on October 8th, 2009
Aborting a pregnancy is not quite the same as murdering a middle school kid. A fetus can't walk, talk, breath, think. It's just an organism that has the potential to be a human being, just like a sperm cell, but didn't quite make it. Fortunately the world doesn't think like you do.
by Nutsy_Rail on October 8th, 2009
I think like you do Jeremy, kudos for standing up for what you believe in. +3
by Christina on October 8th, 2009
Legally and biologically, embryos and fetuses are humans, just as much as you and I. They are human organisms, just like we are. As evidence, in 36 states if anyone other than the mother kills it, they will be charged with homicide (killing of a human). Someone thinks like me, evidently.
Since babies up to 8 or 9 months can't "walk and talk", would you like it be open season on them too?
by angus1 on October 8th, 2009
Thanks Christina.
by angus1 on October 8th, 2009
Jack, the world does not agree with you.
http://www.pregnantpause.org/lex/world02.jsp
by Thriftymaid on October 8th, 2009
+3 i like the way you think:-)
by Butrfly on October 8th, 2009
while I do not condone vengance this level of anger is understandable. I took a 3 hour walk 2 hours after my wife got a positive pee test because of one sentance that came out of her mouth in anger "I hope to god I lose this baby" nearly a year later I still remember that word for word and I don't have a clue what the fight was about.
2 hours into my walk she got a call with the results of the blood test indicating that the pee was a false positive... she had the nerve to expect me to comfort her in getting her wish!!! thank goodness she did though, we are in the final stages of our divorce.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 9th, 2009
Sorry taprice for the troubles are you going through.
by Thriftymaid on October 9th, 2009
actualy... the divorce is liberating... I think I will be pretty good at not applying "lessons" taught by anne to my next wife... however she needs to be able to follow the rules of combat, if I ever hear that sentance again I may be gone for days instead of hours.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 9th, 2009
This sort of thinking, Jeremy, would make Roger Chillingworth proud.
by Fiddle Playing Creole Bastard on October 13th, 2009
he is right. the law considers a confirmed pregnancy a human. if you kill a pregnant woman it is a double homocide. if it is not human then it is only a single homocide.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 14th, 2009
If the world doesn't agree with me then the world doesn't agree with laws. Abortion is legal, the mother or the doctor are not charged with murder. Sorry fellas.
by Nutsy_Rail on October 14th, 2009
Jackstain - You have pointed out the illogical and inconsistency of US state law. If it's homicide if I kill the child, why is it not homicide if a woman kills that same child?
by angus1 on October 14th, 2009
Because if the woman wanted to birth that child then the guy deserves to be punished. Only she can make the choice to abort the pregnancy.
by Nutsy_Rail on October 14th, 2009
how is it a double homocide if the "fetus" isn't a human?
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 14th, 2009
hold on jack... her choice to keep the baby makes the guy deserve punishment? that makes NO sense.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 14th, 2009
Jack - How can it be homicide (i.e. murder of a human)?
by angus1 on October 14th, 2009
Sure, he can do all those things but all he'll achieve is making himself look like a massive dick. It will also mean that the woman will know she made the right decision in aborting his baby since it turned out he was a fucking psycho. It will probably be upsetting for her, but also kind of a relief. Who would want to be tied to a man like that for the next 18 years?
by JenniferRuth on October 15th, 2009
We are talking about rights here. The point isn't that he necessarily should do all the things listed, the point is that these things are the LIMIT of what he can do.
by Factotum on October 15th, 2009
Jennifer, Its not always the men that are psycho's you get some funny ladies as well... Im female yet i know that women can be worst than men at times.... So we cant generalize and always think the worst of males... Just my opinion :-) How do you know the women is not the Psycho?
by Butrfly on October 15th, 2009
JenniferRuth - help me understand this. Killing someone's child is OK, but telling people that someone killed your child is wrong?
by angus1 on October 15th, 2009
Butrfly - I didn't say anything about men or women. I only commented on this particular answer. There was no generalisation, no thinking the worst of men...just me thinking that a woman would be relieved not to have a child with a man who was so possessive and obsessed with revenge. People are individuals and I wonder why you read my comment in the way you did since there is nothing in there that suggests I am generalising men or women!
Jeremy - There is a big difference in how we think. You think that a fetus is a child. I do not. It is just a bunch of cells with a potential to be a child. I will not try and convince you of my view. You can tell anyone you like that someone "killed your child" but I also reserve the right to say "whoa, that dude has serious issues!" and suggest that the woman in question would be glad not to be stuck with someone who would try to take bodily autonomy away from her.
by JenniferRuth on October 15th, 2009
JenniferRuth - We're all just a bunch of cells. But we are all also human organisms and have been human organisms from the moment of conception. Your view is that a human's worth is based on their age. That is a philosophical "out" that allows a human to be easily killed because she happens to an inconvenience.
I don't deny you the right to share your opinions, nor do I deny a man whose child was wantonly killed the right to tell other people who the killer was.
by angus1 on October 15th, 2009
Jeremy - I respectfully disagree. I do not think that a fertilised egg has a right to personhood. It is not a philisophical "out" it is simply where I stand on the issue. I do not believe that most anti-abortion activists believe this either. If they did they would probably pour money into research on the 80% of pregnancies that are miscarried soon after egg fertilisation. But they don't.
Even if it was granted personhood a woman would still have no moral obligation to carry it to term, just like no-one is going to force you to give your kidney to someone else or go donate blood. Your body is your own.
I do not expect you to be convinced by my view and I would ask that you show me the same respect.
Apart from that, it seems that we agree.
by JenniferRuth on October 15th, 2009
"Personhood" has no agree-upon definition. It is based on one's individual philosophy. There's no point in even discussing that, because everyone has a different opinion, and as such everyone is right.
"Human" on the other hand is based on biology and can be easily determined. A human (feel free to look it up) is the term describing an organism of the human species. An elderly person and a fetus are both human organisms.
I don't get into the politics of this. However, truth is that abortion kills a "human." I would never try to stop anyone from exercising their legal rights but won't shy away from saying what it is.
by angus1 on October 15th, 2009
jenifer... what is your opinion on partial birth abortion. where they stileto a baby which could possibly survive outside the body while it is comming out of the vagina... a process made legal durring clintons reign.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 15th, 2009
Jeremy - I think that personhood is something that needs to be agreed on since it is important in ethical and health matters that reach beyond abortion. It is a long and tough debate (been ongoing for most of human history) but it cannot be discounted.
TaPriceCTR - It is hard to give my full opinion on Answerbag but I will do my best. Only one percent of abortions take place at 21 weeks gestation or later and almost all of them are for health reasons. Late-term abortions usually occur with either the very young who don't know better about their pregnancy or have been raped (some women are caught out by having periods all through pregnancy, a trick nature plays) or those that have discovered their pregnancy cannot be carried to term (severe disability, will be still-born or carry risk the woman's life).
TBC
by JenniferRuth on October 16th, 2009
It can also be difficult for women to even access abortion in some places and the waiting in itself pushes their pregnancy further along than they would like!
So, perhaps a 1% of partial-birth abortions (which still only account for 1% of all abortions) are because the woman was stupid. But it's STILL her body and it is her right to terminate no matter what we think of it.
If the rate of abortion is to be reduced in general then we need to campaign for better sex education in our schools and improve the availability of contraception.
by JenniferRuth on October 16th, 2009
Jennifer - What qualifies as a person is and will always be open for debate. You and I, for example, could take the argument to our graves, and still not agree. So, what's the point? Why not drop that and go the science route, where we must all agree what a human organism is and is not.
by angus1 on October 16th, 2009
Respect for human life, no matter the age of the human, would cut way back on abortions.
by angus1 on October 16th, 2009
Maybe she is not healthy enough to birth a child. Maybe it would ruin her life and the baby's life.
You are basically saying that 2 lives should be destroyed just to follow your own personal opinion? You don't care about human life, you care about your opinions.
by Nutsy_Rail on October 16th, 2009
"Maybe it (not having an abortion) would ruin the baby's LIFE?" I'm thinking that killing the baby is the only sure way to ruin his or her life.
Far less than 1% of abortions are performed to protect the life of the mother. Meaning that 99.x% of abortions are for convenience.
by angus1 on October 16th, 2009
jeremy... I think that % is off... but the vast majority of abortions are such.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 16th, 2009
~97% of abortions have nothing to do with life, health, incest, or rape. Only 3% of abortions are for those reasons COMBINED. The % done to save the life of the mother (i.e. mom will die without an abortion) is <1%.
HOWEVER, I should have said that 97% of abortions are for convenience. Good catch.
by angus1 on October 16th, 2009
Forcing unready mothers to birth childs is forcing the kids into miserable lives.
This is no longer an argument. You know it is wrong to force misery on others, but you also NEED me to be wrong so that you can feel like a winner. Keep your status quo. That's all that is important to you. Peace out.
by Nutsy_Rail on October 16th, 2009
jack... my 16 year old mother could not give me the life I deserve.... she gave me up for someone who could. but she did not count on executives creating a state of economic slaver making life miserable for 30+% of society. watch me simplify.... killing your child is wrong and you want to let people kill their children. by over simplifying you can make anything look cut and dry.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 16th, 2009
In my eyes you are lucky lol. Sorry, my views are very biased because I was birthed from a mother who should not have had the right to birth anybody. I have to live the rest of my life with memories that nobody should have.
by Nutsy_Rail on October 16th, 2009
my little sister should be sterilized... I think our nation should make vasectomes and tubal ligations free.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 16th, 2009
I am actually in the same boat you are, jackstain...
but, to the actual question... He HAD the obligation to wear a condom when he had sex. If he had been a real man, neither would most likely be in the condition. It takes two people to start the process of fertilization.
by Jackey on October 29th, 2009
Yes haha. My dad is a cancer on society as well.
by Nutsy_Rail on October 29th, 2009
cancer? please my little sister is the ebola virus
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 29th, 2009
Eugenics is a beautiful thing. Regular people with normal lives are unable to understand why it is needed, so it will never be allowed.
by Nutsy_Rail on October 29th, 2009
even if we don't enforce it... we should be happy to help those who know they want no children have no children.
as long as it is not abused it can help make up for the warning lable and other things which have eliminated "survival of the fittest". however we can't even keep an economy throving without abusing the masses, how could we possibly think to enforce eugenics without abuse. executives would find a way to make themselves the only people allowed to breed and from what I have seen that would leave the our race in worse condition than our economy.
by TAPriceCTR s son is wearing his COAT on October 30th, 2009