Surprisingly birds have sex very similarly to the way which most mammals do, with the male mounting the female from behind and inserting sperm into the female with the avian equivilant of a penis.

Surprisingly Mr McLaren's answer; "Surprisingly birds have sex very similarly to the way which most mammals do, with the male mounting the female from behind and inserting sperm into the female with the avian equivalent of a penis. " was correct but surprising; "... most mammals " at first, being an idiot, I read that as birds are mammals; "avian equivalent of a penis " a mammalian equivalent? reptilian? a penis is a penis. Robert, I'm just pullin your... chain! chain, I'm just pullin your chain! But Robert is succinctly correct and complete, and I got no problem with it, there are a few interesting details, however. Some birds mate on the ground, chickens and grouse and pheasants obviously, but also "English Sparrows," they cause quite a ruckus, a flurry of flapping and chitterings of a group of males 'fighting' and chasing a female, somewhere in all that commotion a mating or more than one takes place. After all my years, when I see that I still wanta shout "Bird fight bird fight!" and all the townspeople gather around to cheer and place bets. The Bower bird of Australia clears a large area of bare ground in the trees and tries to entice a female into his bachelor pad by decorating it with flowers, leaves, and even bits of glass and other shiny objects. The Blue Bower bird is called that as much for his color as for the fact that he will fly miles to find bits of blue glass. Some water fowl, especially them big white ducks at the park, mate in the water. The drake (male) climbs on the back of the duck (uhh, a female duck is called a duck), she starts sinking and trying to get away with a lot of squawking and wing flapping, the drake grabs aholt of the feathers on the back of her head and neck so he don't get tossed off. In crowded ponds, which is typical in city parks where people think they can get rid of the "Easter ducklings," some females are picked bald before mating season is over and some even die of exhaustion.( Don't even buy ducklings if you haven't room for a full sized duck. Or drake.) Some birds mate in the air, swifts do, and some raptors. Falcon females climb higher and higher and the males try to get above her. If one does he settles on her back and they plummet towards the earth as they mate. ( Did the wind blow for you?) Eagles and some other birds build nests high in the trees that are way too big for the purpose of raising young. The male starts the nest trying to impress the female with his handyman skills, then they both start working and add to it year after year. They use the big wide top as a mating area. Dodge, yes it is a 'long drawn out explanation,' long time baggers have learned to expect, and some to accept, that from me (and I've just made this one longer). I am frequently in error, due to omission or over simplification, with my answers; maybe even 'fully out wrong'; I am always appreciative when my errors are pointed out in comments or another answer. In this instance, at least, I am NOT 'quessing,' ( guessing? questing?) I am knowing. I have personally witnessed all the forms of mating I mentioned, except the Bower bird. I am not the only witness, I direct your attention to The Life of Birds by David Attenborough or any of Roger Tory Peterson's Field Guide to the Birds. From the answer you have given, it appears that you do not know that some birds have a 'penis,' you are correct that 'birds have only one "hole," ' more correctly called the vent, which is the opening into the cloaca. The cloaca is basically a sac into which the urinary, alimentary, and reproductive systems open. In the case of males the reproductive system ends at a phallus in side the cloaca, allowing minimum wage employment to many chicken sexers. In many birds this phallus never extends beyond the vent, in that case the birds do mate with the 'cloacal kiss.' This kiss varies in duration among various species, sometimes an instantaneous 'peck', as with the 'fighting' sparrows, in others a longer time, as when eagles mate on the nest platform. Other birds have a phallus that can extend beyond the cloaca, as in the ducks, an external phallus is usually called a penis. Check these links; http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/EnviroRepublish_366856.htm http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2001/10/1023_corkscrewduck.html http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/animals/features/237index.shtml which describe a South American Duck that apparently "runs around with its seventeen inch penis hanging out." That whooshing sound you just heard was all the female ducks leaving my local park for South America. (I've corrected some of the spelling in my original answer, left in my irreverent and irrelevant comments RE Mr McLaren, and changed "Some birds mate in the air, swifts *probablly* do, and the raptors," to "Some birds mate in the air, swifts do, and *some* raptors."[3-21-06 nmj])

They ask the "bees". The birds and the bees are always together so that they can trade information. They often consult with the flowers and the trees too. And the moon up above and a thing called love.

This is simple question to awnser, both male and female birds have only one "hole" to poop, pee, and for sex, male and females look identical underneath. when the birds are comfortable with each other and "in love" so to speak the female will tilt herself forward and lift up her tail as high as she can, the male then comes up behind and "folds his tail feathers up in front of himself and tries to line up his "hole" with her "hole" once lined up the male pushes out siemen and the female opens up her rear end to recieve.... you can actually find footage of birds mating if you look up videos on the subject in yahoo search

...when they think nobody is looking and it seems they are pretty good at it (avoiding being seen.)

The only bird with a penis is a swan. The vasa parrot has a cloacal swell, but it's not a penis. Other birds reproduce the way that snakes do: they rub cloacas. The cloaca is an orifice through which sex fluids pass. Males have two functional internal testes that send sperm to the mouth of the cloaca. Females have one functional and one rudimentary ovum. The cloacas rub together when the male mounts the female and curls his tail under her, and they rub cloacas. It's called a "cloacal kiss."

anyone got any swans they can give my mate? she wants to try out this kind of foreplay with other different kinds of creatures. humans doesn't turn her on. maybe a swan will do? they have penises. she doesnt like the idea of rubbing. if so :) add me. gofuckyourself@hotmail.com.

I'd disagree with Avian-Crazed that the swan is the only bird with a penis. I've seen an ostrich penis before - believe me, not something you forget easily!

very simply... they do it very carefully.

http://lansingwbu.blogspot.com/search?q=sex Over 90 percent of birds are considered monogamous. Most birds keep the same mate for the entire mating season and some stay paired for their entire life. Courtship, generally the male’s responsibility, usually entails singing but can also consist of tail drumming or dancing. During breeding season, the male's testes which lie within their body at the end of each kidney become several hundred times larger than normal to produce sperm which moves to the cloaca where it is stored until insemination (the act of sex). In bird anatomy, a cloaca is the posterior opening that serves as the only opening from which they excrete both urine and feces, unlike mammals, which possess two separate orifices for evacuation. The female bird's ovaries are also enlarged during breeding season to produce the ovum. The ovum is a single cell that we recognize as the yolk of an egg. The female bird unfans her tail, moves it to one side while the male climbs up onto her back or gets close to her. Their cloacas are pressed together and the sperm moves from the male to the female. This act is called a cloacal kiss. The ovum is fertilized in the female bird's oviduct by a sperm cell from the male bird. The oviduct is a tube that transports the egg from the ovary to the cloaca and where the white of the egg and shell are formed. In most birds, the ovary releases an ovum at daily intervals during the breeding season until a complete clutch of eggs is laid. Once fertilized, the ovum becomes the nucleus of the egg. The egg will be laid by the female into her nest, incubated, and then the baby bird will hatch. Sperm is stored by the female for at least a week, in some species over a hundred days. Then as each ovum from the ovary moves into the oviduct, it gets fertilized with the stored sperm, producing a clutch of eggs, all with the sperm from that one cloacal kiss. There are a few species of birds where the males do possess a retractable penis that can be pulled back into the bird. These birds include ostriches, cassowaries, kiwis, swans, geese, and ducks. Since waterfowl sometimes make love while in the lake or pond, the penis helps ensure that the sperm is not washed away by the water. And, although it is not necessary to copulate frequently since the sperm is stored within the female, remember those hormones are still making the birds excited. Many pairs of birds will mate numerous times within a few days. http://lansingwbu.blogspot.com/search?q=sex