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by Anonymous on March 18th, 2007

Anonymous

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Help answer this question below.

Im a 16 yr old girl and im dating a 24 yr old. we share the same interests and he gives me a lot of good advice now were dating and i know its wrong but hes given me this amazing i mean undescribable feeling. Should i keep seeing him?

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Answers. 28 helpful answers below.

  • by singwell-is off researching a lot on March 18th, 2007

    singwell-is off researching a lot

    The dating is not necessarily wrong, but it would be wrong for you to enter into a sexual relationship with him, both for legal reasons, and for the sake of your own self worth. I would tend to want to say to you, cool it for a year or so. You change so much in that time. I know that is hard, but I would not be happy at my daughter dating a man six years her senior, when she is only 16. I am not doubting that he is a nice person, but he should know better too. In another few years, the differences in age will not matter so much.
    All the best.

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  • by Ankhorite on March 18th, 2007

    Ankhorite

    No. That amazing feeling is probably combined of pride in being able to attract an older man, and feeling flattered that he likes you.

    However, both the pride and the flattery are misplaced. Your relationship has to be covert because the two of you can't make it public without expecting a lot of social condemnation and, in some states, criminal charges against him.

    There is a reason people condemn these relationships, and a reason that they are a crime in some places.

    If you were 18 and he was 26, people would still be uncomfortable, but not as harsh. Right now, Anonymous, all it looks like is a guy who, for whatever reason, is unable or unwilling to date women his own age, and is taking advantage of your lack of sophistication and maturity.

    I'm not saying you're immature for your age. I'm saying HE is immature for his.

    And I'm not saying you're immature for your age even apart from that. You may be extremely mature (emotionally and physically) for a sixteen year old. But that's not mature enough to be dating a man who is 150% of your own age.

    Anonymous, this guy has eight years of adult life. You have less than zero. There's a lack of equality there that good intentions cannot overcome.

    If you think he's important to you, tell him to come back in two years, or 18 months, or whatever it takes for you to turn 18. If he thinks you are important to him, he'll do it.

    And meanwhile, date guys within your own age range. They may not be as sophisticated as he is, but --good-- teen men have a sweetness and openness to them which is long gone by the time they are 24. You are entitled to enjoy that now, while you yourself are a teen. Once you hit your twenties, just like the guy you're dating now, it will --not-- be appropriate for you to date teens. This is your chance, and don't miss out on it because of the thrill of being with a guy who is half again your age.

    This is not a guy you can be proud of in front of your parents. This is not a guy you can expect to take you to prom, or in fact, anywhere in public. This is not a guy who can go on double-dates with your friends, or fit in at their parties.

    This is not the guy for you at this time. On some level, you know that already or you wouldn't have wanted to ask us this question.

    And remember: if both of you think this relationship is worth something, both of you should be able to muster up the strength to stop it now, and try it again in two years, while dating other people in the meantime.

    Good luck, Anonymous. Be careful.

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  • by lostj3di on March 17th, 2009

    lostj3di

    I'm a father of two teenage daughters and while I feel their time is better spent hanging our with friends in their own age range and would be very unhappy about either of them dating someone in their mid twenties, I can totally understand the exhilaration and rush you must experience spending time with your twenty-four year old.

    It's great that you draw the line of what limits your relationship will go to, and that he respects them.

    If your parents are fine with it then so be it, and enjoy your time with your boyfriend. As long as you both keep it safe and sensible there's really no reason to not continue dating.

    However if they did disprove of the relationship and insisted you ended it (even if it was a totally non-sexual coupling - or just because they don't like him) your best bet would be to follow their wishes. You have to spend your entire life interacting with your parents, while boyfriends will come and go as you mature.

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  • by Anonymous on November 13th, 2008

    Anonymous

    I've been dating a 26 year old man and im a 16 yr old girl (17 next month)
    We aren't sexually involved (and i havnt been before him so i don't plan to give myslef to anyone until im ready) I have my head screwed on and we just talk and talk.

    We live seperate lives which are busy, but we make time for each other.

    I've been competely honest with my paretns and they do not approve(as would I if i was in their situation) and I see it as very exciting/and i am honoured he likes me so much.

    Not once when we have met has he tried anything inappropriate and we've been in all sorts of circumstances when he could have been.

    I also met him from the internet which was risky in itself however i met him and its fine, we've been dating for 3 months and have only kissed.

    I think that shows both of our respect and maturity. We kind of see each other as friends who really care for each other. The conversation never runs out and i have such an open mind and he has so much life experience to tell me about.

    I am totally comfortable with the relationship. I havn't told many of my friends about it because i know they will judge me, when they're in no position to do so.

    I believe he just really enjoys treating me and we've been out for dinner in the restaurant that my uncle owns and he had no problem with going in there. He WANTS to meet my family etc.

    I do however think to myself what am i doing? is there a psychological reason why i need to do this? and i havnt yet come to a single conclusion other than i am the most happiest i've ever been when with him. and it hasn't effected his work/my college & work

    I live in the UK so legally its 16yrs to have sex and technically i could have been sexually active for 11months but have CHOSEN not to and i will continue to be this way =]

    (Hope this helps/enlightens people!)

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  • by tulipsandmusic on July 16th, 2007

    tulipsandmusic

    Is he interested in your school sports team going to State? Is he interested in attending your school plays? Is he interested in hanging out with you and your friends...at the pool...at the coffee house...at the movies...at church...with your mom and dad? These are things that you should be interested in, and after eight years he should have let high school things go. Where can you two go and be a couple? The bar...a club...your folks house...his apartment? Where can you go with him that you won't be feel pressured to be an adult or be reminded that you're a teen? My advice to you - BE a teen. Dump the creep that can't get a grip on adulthood. Because maybe he'll still have his head in highschool after you graduate. What will do then?

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  • by Luigi on July 16th, 2007

    Luigi

    I don't see anything wrong with it if it's legal! When I was 23 I dated an 17 yr old girl, and her parents knew about it and they were totally ok with it! I'm 30 and I date an 18 yr old girl, so what? Like my Mom explained to me: ''an 18 yr old girl is an adult, she can date a 40 yr old if she wants to'' My Mom helped me understand this, when she'll be 30 I'll be 42, and I look very good for my age, in fact, she is the one that fell in love with me and persued me! Not the other way around!

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  • by SusieQ on March 18th, 2007

    SusieQ

    You're young yet. That amazing undescribable feeling is because it's your first 'love' and with an older MAN at that. I don't think it's a good idea to keep seeing him. You are still changing in your life and by the time you are 20 I will bet your ideals of the perfect man will change at least 3 times. I don't know what that 'MAN' is thinking, when I was 24, the thoughts of seeing a 16 year old 'KID' would never have crossed my mind. What happens when he goes out drinking with his friends? Do you sit at home having milk and cookies with your mom? I don't mean to sound harsh, but I would like to know what the heck this 'MAN' is thinking?

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  • by PrettyPirate on March 18th, 2007

    PrettyPirate

    If my 16 year old sister started dating a 24 year old man, I would be against it with all the vehemence of an unstoppable rebel force. I simply would not allow it.

    The age difference disturbs me. I am the same age as your boyfriend, and there is nothing in any of the 16 year olds I know that I would consider to be "relationship material". That is not to say that they aren't intelligent, mature, funny people, they just have not had the life experience, nor do they currently have the life goals, that I am looking for in a partner. I want someone who has an established career and who has preferrably completed the bulk of their education - not someone who is 2 years away from graduating High School.

    I'm not saying that your relationship can't work - I'm sure people do it quite a lot - but, personally, I don't think it will last. If I was your parent, I would be wondering what this man's intentions were with my daughter, and if he was honest, I doubt they would be honourable. Good luck.

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  • by munchkin_kids_downunder on March 18th, 2007

    munchkin_kids_downunder

    what do your parents think?

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  • by bagkhan on January 23rd, 2009

    bagkhan

    If you love him and your parents allow, then date him and marry him.

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  • by joyce046 on November 13th, 2008

    joyce046

    As long as you don't do anything that you are pressured into to doing. No one can tell how you are feeling but you follow your feelings. They will never steer you wrong.

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  • by Hypocrisy_Central on March 30th, 2009

    Hypocrisy_Central

    Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Your relationship is doomed unless you want to send him to jail for a long time. Not because you don't and can't care for hum or he for you. We live in a land of sexually mental midgets. The way this society handles sex is like a man before the mirror who once he turns away forgets what he looks like. When people see a man with a young lady more than 7 years his junior or near the age of consent they can't fathom the ideal they could be attracted. She has to have daddy issues or some other mental or esteem instability, or looking for a sugar daddy. He has her just as a trophy, sex toy, mid life crisis etc. She cannot be his equal or he hers. You basically have no choice because of the haters to wait until you are of age then thicken up your emotions for all the flax you and he will get.

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  • by Shaz4726 on December 2nd, 2007

    Shaz4726

    Hunny i think u should be really careful about this decision that you are going to make.. I do definantly understand you point of view, as your proberly mature for ur age and you can relate to this person better than the younga boys, who jus play you around for fun.. But you should ask yourself this question does this person really like you for you? or is he taking advantage of you as there might be a chance or possibilty that your still naive and young.. i think you should take your time and dont rush things, and just be mentally prepared for the good and for the bad.. Good luck!!

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  • by Cindi on September 11th, 2009

    Cindi

    no! Where are your parents?
    if a 24 year old shares the same interest as a 16 year old then shame on him.He should be interested in adult things not childish things.

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  • by koldkanuck on December 2nd, 2007

    koldkanuck

    Does any of his good advise entail "maybe this relationship should wait until you are at least 18"? children having children can only lead to heartache.

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  • by Firelovez on December 12th, 2010

    Firelovez

    There are lots of things to take count of besides age, not every "adult " spends their life drinking, hanging out at bars and so on, I see no problem with a up to a 8 year age gap as long as the girl is +16, as long as the younger person approaches the older person and you both have strong feelings about each other. I think it would be a great opportunity to get to know each other and build a strong relationship I would recommend being absence. If the relationship works out as true love you will have your entire life together for sex and if sex is the main reason you date any girl then you have no understanding of what finding your soul mate means and you should not be dating the girl. Do not let age put curtains over your heart and don't allow the feeling of the need for sex to chose your soul mate. Good luck and just follow your heart but be rational to all aspects of your life and others because the right one may only ever come around once if ever.

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  • by kilkelly on February 14th, 2011

    kilkelly

    At 16 you are begining a journey, both mentally and sexually. Yes it is legal to date and have sex with an older man in the UK at 16 but does that make it right. In some staes in America it is legal to have sex with a 13yr old girl, doe that make it right just cause the Law says it is legal. he might be a great person that makes you laugh, cry, feel happy and feel sad. He might make you feel funny all over and you cannot wait to see him when he is gone but at 16 you will be and are missing out on so much that you should be experiencing with people of your own age. Ask yourself would I go out with a 16yr old boy if I was 24yrs old and why is a 24yr old man dating me. I have no doubt that you are a lovely, bubbly, carefree and normal teenager and one that cares enough to look for answers. I hate to say it but if your lucky he will not be your first or last love, he will always be someone special to you but dont give up your youth without enjoying all it holds and has on offer, enjoy your teenage years and though possibly not what you might have wanted to heark keep him as a friend but not as a boyfriend your far to important to waste your youth. Good luck and I hope you live life to the full

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  • by majfkleee on October 9th, 2010

    majfkleee

    I'm a 24 year old guy going out with a 16 year old girl and I feel no shame in it. We are both mentally and sexually compatible. I don't pressure her into anything and have already told people about it. To the people who say "Wait until 18" - What the hell? Why the heck would anyone want to wait just for the sake of it and then some other guy takes his place? Just go with your instinct - You'll risk missing out on the perfect person if you consider the age gap an issue.

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  • by majfkleee on October 9th, 2010

    majfkleee

    I'm a 24 year old guy going out with a 16 year old girl and I feel no shame in it. We are both mentally and sexually compatible. I don't pressure her into anything and have already told people about it. To the people who say "Wait until 18" - What the hell? Why the heck would anyone want to wait just for the sake of it and then some other guy takes his place? Just go with your instinct - You'll risk missing out on the perfect person if you consider the age gap an issue.

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  • by Legato9444 on May 14th, 2010

    Legato9444

    I'm a 16 year old dating a 24 year old, too. 16 is the age of consent here and if your parents are cool with it, what's the problem?

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  • by missdoubleA on January 2nd, 2012

    missdoubleA

    I'm 16. I guess you could say that I am kind of in a relationship with this 24 year old. It's more of a flirtationship I guess you could say. But he is certainly not my sugar daddy. I am not mentally unstable or have any problems getting guys of my own age. We became really close last year and would just chill and watch hockey all the time together. Then that summer he got a job and moved and now lives an hour away. I dont get to see him much, but we are in a sexually/compatible relationship. I have seeen him a couple times since he moved, but not nearly as much as I used to. You're situation sounds a lot like mine. I havent let the age difference bother me, I just think of all the good times we have. Even if it's not in public. My parents dont know, but they know the guy and his family. We used to be neighbors. I guess I kind of have the same outlook as you do. Should I keep seeing him. This question often comes up in my mind!

    Keep thinking! I'm just glad I'm not the only one.

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  • by missdoubleA on January 2nd, 2012

    missdoubleA

    I'm 16. I guess you could say that I am kind of in a relationship with this 24 year old. It's more of a flirtationship I guess you could say. But he is certainly not my sugar daddy. I am not mentally unstable or have any problems getting guys of my own age. We became really close last year and would just chill and watch hockey all the time together. Then that summer he got a job and moved and now lives an hour away. I dont get to see him much, but we are in a sexually/compatible relationship. I have seeen him a couple times since he moved, but not nearly as much as I used to. You're situation sounds a lot like mine. I havent let the age difference bother me, I just think of all the good times we have. Even if it's not in public. My parents dont know, but they know the guy and his family. We used to be neighbors. I guess I kind of have the same outlook as you do. Should I keep seeing him. This question often comes up in my mind!

    Keep thinking! I'm just glad I'm

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  • by kritical on December 2nd, 2007

    kritical

    Quite honestly... boys your age will be immature and will probably muck you around a lot...

    At 24 he should be quite mature... but at the same time you have to ask yourself why he is going out with you in the first place?

    You're inexperienced and young. I'm 23 and the idea of going out with an 18/19 year old sounds good to me... 16 is too young for me... sure it would be fun but it would be socially unacceptable in New Zealand. The reason why I would like to date someone so young is because quite honestly girls mature faster than guys.. I've only got about a year of relationship experience... most girls have my age have at least a few years experience...

    I think a lot of people will be skeptical of your relationship, my best advice to you is not to over-estimate your own maturity, take things slow, learn the basics first...

    Good luck ;)

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  • by phile4evr on December 2nd, 2007

    phile4evr

    You said it yourself, you know it's wrong, and illegal. You know you shouldn't be together. What are you hoping someone to tell you? "Yes, it's OK to go against what you know to be true?" Will you use that advice as an excuse to do what you want? Will that make you feel better? You need to grow up and mature. End the relationship or you'll realize too late what a mistake you're making.

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  • by Shelly on December 2nd, 2007

    Shelly

    If you keep it up eventually you will be seeing him behind bars. How would you feel if you had to live with that?

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  • by Jewel on July 16th, 2007

    Jewel

    Alarm bells are going off!
    The age difference is not right.
    Wait until you are 18. If you care for each other it will only strengthen your relationship.

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  • by Debris - the new slimline version. on July 16th, 2007

    Debris - the new slimline version.

    anonymous - I don't know where you live but I know that here in England it is perfectly legal for your to have any type of relationship with this man.

    I used to date older guys when I was your age although my mum didn't approve. Now that I am older I realise that the guys who I was dating were very immature at the time and looking back, I wish that maybe I hadn't gotten involved so seriously at such a young age. But then, it's easy to say that with hindsight.

    He gives you good advice - sounds like a bit of a father figure to me I'm afraid.

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  • by Legato9444 on May 14th, 2010

    Legato9444

    Share your answer...

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