- NEW!
by Gracin the Strange on March 17th, 2007
I have layed in the isle of a store and pounded my fists and kicked my feet just like my son was doing at the time. He saw how stupid I looked and must have figured he looked just as stupid since he never did it again... in public anyways.
by Yeux on March 18th, 2007
The more you continue to throw fits at him, the more he will continue to throw fits. Try ignoring him and see his reactions. Maybe this is his way of getting your attention.
Thank goodness it's fits you throwing back at him and not fist lol.
by Jessicax23 on March 18th, 2007
Excellent modeling of appropriate behavior! It's been proven over and over again that children of that age learn primarily by imitating the adults in their lives. If you maintained your calm and treated him respectfully, he just might get some crazy idea in his head that it's that kind of behavior that people are expected to display. *shudder*
by BigDaddyBS on April 26th, 2008
Nah... You're not mean... IMMATURE, but not mean.
by PoundPuppy on July 23rd, 2008
You're not mean...creative, but not mean. You're just showing your kid in a way he can understand that such behavior is not acceptible.
Tantrum away, man. :-)
by AnandaMom on March 18th, 2007
I'd have to say that, yes, it is a bit mean! Put yourself in his place -- most 3-year olds have tantrums because they don't know how to process their emotions any other way. When you son is having a fit he likely wants to be taken seriously and is looking to you for help. Your job is to help him make sense of his emotions and to find more mature ways to dealing with frustration/fatigue/hunger/whatever....
When you throw a fit back at him you minimize the validity of his emotions.
by wobalome on March 17th, 2007
If it works then use it
by aspcia on September 14th, 2008
I'd say some kids definitely need to see to believe. For some kids, in some situations I'd say it's a great tool. Like if they want a cookie before dinner and throw a huge tantrum because you say no. But if you're doing it when they are throwing a tantrum because they're tired, hungry, are forced to wait in a long line, have been out running errands with you all day, it's not really fair to them because those are valid feelings. They just have to learn how to express them correctly.
by Anonymous on May 20th, 2007
You are not being mean. You are mirroring their behavior so that they can see what they are doing from another perspective. With some children it is a very effective technique. For the parents who are too embarrassed to try this, the child learns that the parent will give in if they embarrass the parent enough.
by Penny The Wise on April 10th, 2007
My best friend and I would do the same thing. It definately worked on the older kids, too. They would see how ridiculous I looked and would stop. Also they were so entranced with this big adult flopping on the groung wailing that they forgot all about their fit. I even got some to laugh.
by bagless77 on March 17th, 2007
You're not just mean, but it would be better if after throwing your fit, you also helped him to deal with his emotions more appropriately. He needs to learn how to work through them without throwing fits.
by advracer on October 1st, 2008
No, I do that, too. Sometimes when one of my kids is crying, I'll cry too, and they'll start laughing at me.
by Slowlygoingcrazy on October 1st, 2008
You're not mean at all. I've heard this is very effective. It takes the child's mind off what he is upset about, and eventually he's okay, and thinking your pretty funny.
by machinerat on September 19th, 2008
I've seen the same thing also work on babies. So long as it's not a physical discomfort issue, if you cry louder than the baby does, it will be perplexed and quit... for a period.
by MERNIELIZBETH on September 19th, 2008
I'VE DONE IT. WHEN SHE THROWS A FIT OUT OF BOREDOM OR EVEN HABIT. MOST OFTEN IT STARTLES HER ENOUGH THAT SHE FORGOT WHAT SHE WAS PITCHING A TANTRUM ABOUT. BUT NOT IF IT IS AN OBSTINATE TANTRUM.
by mrtoolman on September 15th, 2008
When my son throws a tantrum, we just ignore him for a few minutes while we go about our business. Kids usually do it for attention or to get there way, so if you ignore them each time, they seem to realize that throwing a fit isn't getting them anywhere.
It seems to work in our case anyway :D
by Mommyof2 on September 5th, 2008
I have a 3 year old and she throws fits too. Usually I will ignore them but sometimes it harde because she will follow me around just to let me now that she is mad at me. So usually I end up screaming at her because she just won't stop and then sometimes I put her in the corner for 3 minutes and then she know I mean what said. She doesn't like the corner. So that's what I do. I hope this helps you.
by lekililina on July 18th, 2008
LOL I used to do that when my daughter was a baby and wouldn't quit crying, but she was too young to know what I was doing. I think once in a while it's relatively harmless, but I think there's probably a better solution in the long run. Then again, if your choices are to throw him out the window or have a fit back at him, then by all means, have a fit :)
by Phillis - Zacks little sister on June 7th, 2008
If it FEELS mean to you, then maybe there is a better approach. I don't think you're wanting to be mean at all...you're questioning this because you want to do the best for your son. That deserves recognition. Way to go, mom!
When my child starts pitching fits, crying or whining (she's 3, after all) if it isn't something that needs to be addressed I tell her to go cry in her room and come see me when she's done. It cuts the fit, crying, or whining down to a minimum because she wants to be with mommy.
by Audiotron on April 16th, 2008
I have used a similar method when Kitt and I were watching our 3 year old nephew, while his parents were at work.
When he would start to cry, for whatever reason, as long as he was not hurt, I would just look at him and go "waaah waaah waaah". After the first couple of times, he never continued crying, but rather started smiling and laughing, even saying "waaah waaah waaah" himself!
You are not mean. You are just using his own weapon against him!
by seximama94 on May 20th, 2007
i sort of do that when my neice/ nephew throwws a fit i annocue it to the world
by zee-ster on April 10th, 2007
i don't know about anyone else who does this (and am not a parent myself). i have to admit it find the concept kind of humorous, but i don't know that it's a good idea...
by doodlebug on April 10th, 2007
Noi don't do that. I have a 3 year old and he throwsfits too. Maybe I need to do that tohim.
by jamamiss on March 18th, 2007
It would be much better to take him and put him in his room until he decides to stop. With all respect, throwing a fit yourself is rather childish. If you are in a public place, then you should leave. It's a pain, but it's part of being a parent.
by Bluerose on March 17th, 2007
I think it depends on what he is throwing a fit about. If he has just got a strop on then I don't see any harm, but finish with a smile to let him know you're not being too serious. Too serious could stress out a small child. If it's something more serious than a strop, it's important to find out what the problem is. And be aware that you throwing your fit might look like you are making fun of him.
by Teri on October 1st, 2008
I've also done this with adults....it is hilarious...but sometimes it does backfire....
by zazzy_one on October 1st, 2008
Both me an my husband have done this when my daughter was younger. This usually lead to all three of us laughing on the floor in the end. It is not mean. It points out to a child how riddiculous they look.
by malevolentbutticklis on September 5th, 2008
Just close them in a small empty room and ignore them for an hour. Then come in and throw a fit after they are all done with theirs for as long as you can keep it up in the same tiny room and leave for another hour.
by Ray Ray on July 23rd, 2008
I would lay low, hes only three! I would find maybe a new method that works. He might get into the habbit of picking fights, and he might soon think its funny. He wont really take you seriously.
by Michou on July 18th, 2008
No you are not being mean but you are showing him that it is okay to throw a fit, instead the moment he starts a fit pick him up and put him in time out for one minute per year of age, in his case 3 minutes. Another thing you can try is to just walk away and show that you are not impressed by his actions.Make sure he can't hurt himself.
by Owl Zero on July 18th, 2008
I think your 3 year old son should count very slowly from 1 to 50.
by CJennings on July 18th, 2008
Your child is just trying to express himself. His dialog isn't as matured as an adult and I'm sure this is frustrating for them. Try to use words to understand what is bothering him and it will encourage the child to do the same!=)
by Gold_Autumn on June 7th, 2008
I think it's a great idea. There's an ad on tv at the moment where the mother does that to her son who's about to throw a fit in the shopping centre, it's great!
by Simply99 -- Not a fan favorite. on June 7th, 2008
I do that with my 2 year old girl. When she sees I can do it for longer then her, she will give up (eventually).
by PaigeKittles on June 7th, 2008
When your son throws a tantrum, he should be disciplined for it. If you believe in spankings, then threaten a spanking if he doesnt clear it up in 5 seconds... and count out loud 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. If he is better, praise him for calming down. If he is still tantruming, follow through with your threat. If you do not believe in corporal punishment, then find another VERY EFFECTIVE and very immediate alternative punishment. If time out is not effective.... then don't use it. Or make it more difficult, like instead of being sent to his room, make him sit in the corner, etc. Getting up from time out b4 being told is a big no no and inflict further discipline for doing so. Tantrums should not be tolerated and are easily nipped in the bud if you stick to your guns and follow through with disciplinary actions for such behavior. Always praise your child when he is displaying appropriate behaviors and encourage him to talk to you about what's bothering him. Whatever the reason for the tantrum, by all means DO NOT EVER GIVE IN! If they didn't work for him, he wouldn't use it! The child must learn to communicate through words and also to accept that no means no. In all, it's important that the child learns appropriate behaviors and it's up to you to teach him, otherwise he's only following his own instincts and tantruming is what he has learned is an effective communication tool. I certainly would advise AGAINST tantruming back at him. It makes light of something that should be taken seriously and it's displaying wrong behavior, regardless of your intentions.
by messyme on June 2nd, 2008
you are not mean for this and I know one pediatrician that says this is what you are supposed to do. Google "the happiest toddler on the block".
by shammers still slogging along on April 26th, 2008
You're a role model for your son. If you keep mimicing him, he will keep throwing fits. The only time a behaviour changes is when there are consequences to that behavior. 3 minutes on the naughty rug.
by Anonymous on April 26th, 2008
As a teacher of children with behavior issues I can tell you that 3 year olds do not have the cognitive ability to reason, their brains just aren't developed enough for this higher order thinking.
Children at this age learn through cause and effect. It is much better and longer lasting if you simply leave the public place, put the child in their room or ignore. The one thing you should never do under any circumstances is verbally engage the child. Remember even negative reinforcement is reinforcement.
Remember it is up to you as a parent to model the behaviors you feel are important to the development of a productive adult.
by Claire-Bear on February 20th, 2008
Personally, i feel that this is not good. Not only would you look silly doing so but also, it is going to show him that if mum does it then it is ok for me to do it.
by Beauty Queen on December 29th, 2007
RELAX...we all do it...no you are not mean.
by polly_pearl on November 21st, 2007
I am around 3 yearolds every day, I work in a daycare. When they throw tantrums, I tell them that they can be mad all they want, and that I don't care. We can talk when they calm down. It usually works, seeing as they've gotten used to the fact that we do talk about it afterwards. 3 yearolds are not to young to know that they can't just throw a fit to get their way.
by Jade on May 20th, 2007
I did that once...he was so shocked that he forgot all about HIS tantrum. I did not do it again because I did not want him to get the idea that this was acceptable behavior. But from then on, when he would begin a tantrum he would stop and see if I was going to throw one as well. His continued for a little while but he never quite put as much "heart" into them. And he finally saw that they were not getting him what he wanted so he quit.
by charis on May 20th, 2007
nope. but i think a more mature way to handle it is to stick him in time out until he manages to control himself.
by LadyLuck on April 25th, 2007
I think that it's a great way to catch their attention - my theory is that is shows them how crazy they look. I use the same theory w/my daughter, especially when she starts crying for no reason (she's 18 months, but acts more two...). I scrunch up my face and start fake crying, with the loud sounds and everything. She gets so startled by it she does stop crying to laugh at me. And, another great thing about it is, since I started this she doesn't cry as much unless there's a good reason for it.
The only time I don't do it, of course, is in a very public setting (grocery store, restaurant, etc) - those are the situations where I put on my mean face and use the "mom voice" with her.
by mekare on April 10th, 2007
he probably stops because he is surprised. by throwing one back you're teaching him that throwing a fit is acceptable.
by john pennington on September 19th, 2009
Children learn from their parents.
If you are acting the same as your child, he will continue to believe his fits are okay, since mom has them.
I would do something different.
by Miss Complicated on June 28th, 2009
I have def tried that on my son but it only seems to make him more mad... so i use the time out chair ALOT
by Baccduckus is a Carbonproduct on February 28th, 2009
I'd just throw the kid. But that's me, maybe I'm mean.
by Yhtomitzlots on February 11th, 2009
I do like your style!
by novemberlove on January 25th, 2009
No, this is actually a great way to show children what they look like when they behave that way. I work in a day care and the best way, I have found, to stop children from crying is to pretend you're crying yourself. It's hilarious.
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You're reading When my 3 year old son throws a fit, I like to throw one back at him. It usually makes him stop. Does anyone else do this, or am I just mean?
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Comments
That's kind of what I think I'm aiming for. Thanks!
by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on March 17th, 2007
I just got -4 for this... It was effective and he was not hurt in any way. When I was done I asked him how he felt when I acted like this and talked to him better ways to demonstate his feelings. No one else in the store saw me except maybe security cameras. I dont see what the problem was.
by Gracin the Strange on March 18th, 2007
I did it to him in public like that the other day. He hasn't even tried the "I want that". i think it helped. He is sooo good in the store now. THANKS! (I'd give you more points if I could)
by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on March 19th, 2007
poo on poopy downraters. I actually laughed at my son's first tantrum because he looked silly. I'm sure there are people who think I hurt his feelings by not addressing his needs or insulting his attemps to make himself heard. Poo!
by mousegirl27 on April 10th, 2007
that is funny! i would have loved to have seen that in person.
by zee-ster on April 10th, 2007
The intervention technique is known as "mirroring" I've used it a number of times as a behavioral intervention with success.
by Anonymous on May 20th, 2007
is "mirroring" usually done with adults or kids?
by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
Both
by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on May 21st, 2007
thanks miss zibby!
by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
Works for me!
by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on May 21st, 2007
zibby, want to do me a favor and check your email? :)
by zee-ster on May 21st, 2007
Sure will......!
by Zibbys Mind Is In the Gutter Today on May 21st, 2007
I've never gone that far, but have thought about it. Good for you!!
by Wickels on April 26th, 2008
I might have tried that at home.
by Tenaciouscj on September 15th, 2008
Thanks for making me laugh! +2
by Sand Cat on November 2nd, 2009