ANSWERS: 33
  • Either help out of get out! That is what I would tell them. But, in a more correct way, of course.
  • Ouch! Tell them its time for them to move out on their own. If they can't help with the bills knowing you two are struggling, than they are totally taking advantage and should just go out on their own. That is completely selfish of both girls and heartless. If they want to be tight with their money, have them spend it on their own bills. Good Luck!
  • Tell them to rent an apartment and make it on their own. It will be a valuable lesson in life.
  • They got to go. Simple as that. Tell them you can't afford to keep them. They need to be out on their own anyway but for that especially.
  • Doesn't matter if you need help or not. They're adults, and need to start paying their own way.
  • Give them 30 days to start helping, at the end of that 30 days, put their belongings out on the lawn, change the locks and say vaya con dios. Obviously tell them that before you do that. Or just charge them rent, make them sign a rental agreement, put their stuff out on the lawn and change the locks. Good luck,
  • All I can say is if I were in your shoes, and they were my daughters that would never fly with me. They'd have no choice but to pay rent and purchase all of their own food and household items/needs or they could find their own place.
  • They are both adults, if they don't want to pay rent and groceries in your home, let them rent their own and learn that life isn't free on their own.
  • I agree with the others. They don't have to pay and they don't have to stay. You'd spend less on utilities and food if you weren't feeding and sheltering them.
  • My son is 28 now, we are roommates, each paying a portion of bills. But he has helped pay bills since he started working at the age of 16, had no choice. Have been a single parent since he was 3. Have always had a struggle. So when he started working, he paid bills with his money, not partied or bought things like other teenagers were doing. He knew we were struggling. First sit them down and talk to them. Explain your financial situation and let them know since they are adults now, you expect them to pay their portion. You don't 'ask' your daughters to help pay, you TELL them they are going to. Yea, maybe they are 22, but they still live under your roof, and you are still their parents. Then, if they refuse to help pay utilities and buy food, then charge them rent. They can pay or move out. Tough love is required here. You are no longer actually 'responsible' for putting food in their mouths, clothes on their back, and a roof over their heads, they are adults now and thats their responsibility. Living under your roof scott free is a privilege. Time you revoked their privileges if they refuse to help out. You buy food for you and your husband (keep where they cannot get), and tell them if they want to eat, buy their own. Don't do their laundry or wait on them in anyway (clean their rooms or anything). Don't give them gas money, if they have cell phones that are in your name, confiscate them unless they are willing to pay their portion of the bill (cause you can bet they use it most). Only have cable in you and your husbands bedroom (or put a lock on one in living room/den). If they want use of it, they have to help pay. Don't furnish them anything. They are grown, young adults, old enough to be taking care of themselves. If they want the honor of living under their parents roof, they have to abide by your rules. And they need to help with the expenses. They are taking advantage of you and time you and your husband said "enough is enough, we love you both very dearly. But we need help, it's time the two of you started paying your share of the bills around here. We've done for you all these years, now time for a little return". There is nothing wrong with doing that. It can be done in love, not hateful, but love. But should be done.
  • Get rid of them! I'm 22 and give money to all my family every week! They need to take care of themselves and are using you by the sounds of it! I'm also 22 but help in everyway i can. +5
  • Ok; First ..IF they are living in YOUR home , it is time to kick their asses OUT if they refuse to contribute to the FAMILY finances / Bills .... You will need to go to the clek of court in your area and find the proper proceedure there and then ..FOLLOW THRU ... Those two selfish girls of yours obviously don't care about anyone BUT themselves ; so let them go out into the world and PAY their OWN WAY ... Do NOT chicken out ... TOUGH LOVE and a LESSON is NEEDED !!! +5
  • They are 22 and both working. Its time for them to grow up and be independant. Maybe a little dose of the real world will jump start them into being adults. On the other hand, you can not enable them anymore. Don't give them money, don't buy anything for them, only get enough food for you and your husband, etc.
  • Sounds to me like a little heart to heart is in order here. If they are residing in your home and not abiding by your rules and refusing to help out, it's time to move on and let them get acquainted with the real world. You are not obligated to them at 22 years of age.
  • I AGREE 100% but hubby will not say a word against them. He acts like it is my fault since I am NOT working. Now what do I do......... I have threatened to just move out and leave the free loaders move it. My one daughter has now moved her boyfriend in.!!!
  • They are old enough to get a job, why not help you? if they are not willing to help you warn them that if they don't to get an apartment together and get out!!!!!!!!!
  • it is a hard thing but you may have to either kick them out or make them pay you are the parent not them
  • OMG! I would be like then get the eff out, and pay your on way . They are adults and have jobs....they should move out anyway
  • Go to the circuit breaker and cut of their rooms. Let them know that when utilities aren't paid, things get turned off. If they have their own bathroom, turn off the water and power in there too. That is disrespectful to you and your husband and it's high time they help. I got a job when I was 16 and bought my own food, clothes and what-not that I wanted. I'm 28 now and my husband pays our share of the bills (still living with Daddy, but only because he can't take care of himself anymore.) Don't let them girls walk all over you, you are the parent, not them.
  • at age 22, you are no longer legally responsible for them. You will feel are b/c they are always going to be your children. However, they are now adults and need to be pushed outta the nest. Talk to them again, if they still refuse, then I would put locks on the fridge, the cupboard and anyplace you store food. I would charge them $5 a meal if they want to eat at home. To be paid upfront! Some situations call for tough love. This is one. I would also remove lightbulbs and any light source from their rooms. If they cant pay, service has been removed.
  • If they live with you pack some plastic grocery bags with only the belongings they purchased with their money and leave it by the front door. Tell them they can't take anything that was bought by you because you need to sell it to help pay the bills and you can no longer afford to keep feeding them or incurring a bigger electric bill because of them. And if you paid for their cars than take that too and sell it.
  • Well let me just tell you that they need to grow up and snap into the real world. I am 21 years old and I am out on my own...work 2 jobs, pay my bills and when my mom needs help if i have it then so does she. family will always be there no matter what and they ought to be thankful that you are allowing them to be there and not pay anything in the first damn place. you been providin for thier asses so they need to help...i ain havin that BS wit my kids
  • Start selling all of their shit on Craigs List. Be very honest with no remorse if they ask where their stuff went. Phrases like "I don't give a shit" go a long way in situations like this. When they complain, this would probably be the proper response.
  • they are ungreatful daughters , they should help u . u gave them both a life , u rasied them , and fed them and took care of them , they are the worst daughters in the world , its sad to see that childern dont appreciate what their paretns do 4 them .
  • I think it's time that your daughters move out and see what the real world is like. There are no "free" rides ...
  • first don't buy food.. you and the husband go out to eat.. then don't do their laundry etc for them.. good luck
  • to be honest, I am surprised that you have two working adults in the house who do not contribute to the household expenses! I suggest you present them with a weekly bill of their share of the household. And frankly, you should have been doing that since they got jobs. I know, you do not want them to move out and you want to be supportive parents etc, but how will they ever learn the value of money, the cost of living etc, if all their salary is basically "pocket money"?
  • When I was 20-21, working full-time and living at home, my parents charged me rent. I was living in their home, using their electricity, water, etc. Tell them to start paying or start moving.
  • Start treating it like a real landlord situation. If they dont pay the electric, cut off their end of the electric in the house. If you bought them cars and they dont pay for them, take the keys. Etc. I understand it's easier said than done when it's your own children, but if you dont stand up for yourselves they will walk all over you. If I got free food, free living, utilities, etc. I would probably do the same thing!
  • First, nothing will change if you allow your kids to divide you and your husband. Sit down with him at a time when you are both calm and relaxed. Ask him what his expectations are regrading the kids and how much they should or shouldn't contribute. If he doesn't think they should currently be paying any rent or buying food ask him at what age you think it would be appropriate? Does he intend to let them stay there indefinitely without contributing? Negotiate with your husband until you arrive at a shared goal. If you approach your children together and let them know you both agree they will have less room to take advantage of you. Give them a clear time table. If you will not contribute to the family budget then you have 1 year or 3 months...whatever you decide to find other arrangements. Explain that the time frame will not change and that they should save their money so that they can find something nice. If your husband isn't making them accountable there might be some other issues here. Do you think he is holding on to keep them kids or because he is afraid of what will come next when its just the two of you home alone? Maybe you could make the prospect of being home alone more appealing to him? Get a job even if it's part time. Start doing things with him. Hobbies, walking, bike riding, trips and sex! Make him look forward to time alone with you. Oh, and the moving in a boyfriend? He isn't your off-spring and you owe him nothing. Pay to play you know?
  • at 22, you have every right to treat them as full fledged adults ... if they don't like the requests you have made, then set a deadline and have them out by that time ... let them experience the "real world" out from under the umbrella of your protection ...
  • begin by showing them apartments for rent and appliances they can buy. they'll get the picture.
  • You requests are perfectly reasonable. Simply tell them that you can't afford to house them if they don't help out.

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