ANSWERS: 17
  • Humpty Dumpty (technically a nursery rhyme, but lets not get picky here). First of all, WHY would some freakish man-boy-egg be sitting on a wall in the first place. If you KNOW you are fragile, sit on a bench like the rest of us common folk, you stupid twit. Secondly, a 'great' fall? What the hell makes his fall greater than anyone elses? People have fallen out of windows higher than that stupid egg fell of the God damn wall he shouldn't of been sitting on in the first place, and we don't go 'oh, you know that Johnny whats his face. I heard he had a great fall the other week.' You say that kind of bollocks and everyone will think he's had a great autumn! Then all the kings horses and all the kings men. What the f*ck are they meant to do?! They destroy empires, not fix together brain dead cross bred egg boy men things! Have they nothing better to do? Why would the king care? Eggs get broken all the time, doesn;t mean you need a f*cking crusade each time. Imagine if that was the case, the chaos on the cookery channel, how every cake would be a war. Don't even get me started on omlettes. And then surprise surprise, they couldn't put humpty together again. No duh. It's a bloody broken egg that you have just fannied about needlessly over, wasting your time, my time and whoever is telling me this's time when it was bloody obvious that you in full body armour and a sword, 800,000 men and 800,000 horses strong are not going to repair a f*cking egg!!! And what hell kind of name is humpty anyway?
  • I think for me it is rumplesteelskin(sp?) I mean a girl that can weave hay into gold and then a nasty little man wants her first born. Someone was high when that one was wrote.
  • Little Red Riding Hood. Any girl that is stupid enough to believe that a WOLF is her grandmother.... I don't know, the story just bugs me.
  • Shrek. J/K, probably jesus and the 12 disciples. ok that's probably offensive... santa.
  • The one that talks about an evil snake convincing the first woman to disobey a simple rule, and then she convinced the first man to disobey that same rule, so they were thrown out of Paradise and that's why we have so many problems, because of women. A completely anti women story.
  • the most annoying is defiantly GOLDIE LOCKS (1or2 words?) Some stupid little girl breaks into a bears house (since when do bears have houses) and then eats their food, breaks their chairs, and sleeps in their beds. Talk about no respect. I'm surprised the bears didn't murder her when they found her. NO ACTION! Sounds just like a little kid acting stupid and annoying, where is the fairy tail/imagination in that???
  • The one in the Bible
  • Nothing. I love fairy tales. I know they are just "tales" but they make me smile :)
  • The Fox and the Hen. - animals eating other animals - cruelty to animals
  • three blind mice reading the BIBLE
  • As a child, I found Jack and Jill disturbing so I'll go with that one.
  • There's a fairytale where a farmer had a son that was so very small, but he was taken by a giant...and breastfed, by the male giant. He would take the kid to the forest and ask him to complete tasks, but the tasks skills weren't giant worthy. So the giant would take him and nurse him for a few more years and did this a few times...until the boy who due to male giant breast milk was a giant himself and could complete giant tasks...story goes on from there. Brothers Grimm, and male breast feeding? Ugh
  • the ones that are made into Disney movies and then remade every couple of years. like Cinderella.
  • Any time the protagonist (main character - usually female) needs a male character to get her out of trouble. Just once, I'd like Cinderella or Snow White to rescue herself. Ok, you can call me a Femenazi all you want now.
  • Pretty Woman
  • That Barack Obama is not a socialist and is somehow qualified to be president. Too many people have bought into the fairy tale of their new "messiah" and we are probably doomed now.
  • Cinderella. As one joker put it: He must have been completely pissed out of his skull if he can't remember what she looked like. Also nobody sane would try to dance in glass slippers, and anyway it wasn't glass at all. Some dingbat translated 'souliers de vair' mistaking 'vair' for 'verre' (glass). Vair is particoloured fur made by stitching the pelts of stoats in summer pelage (red-brown) and winter pelage( snow-white), to make a kind of fur chequered pattern. Also, in the less politically correct versions of the tale, one ugly sister cuts off her toes to try to get her foot into the slipper, and the other one cuts off her heel, and we are supposed to find this mutilation appropriate, just, or even perhaps comical.

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