My GF wasnt loved as a child. Its causing absolute havoc in our relationship. Can it be solved within the relationship , or does it need to end so she can do that work?
by 
Yanstari
ANSWERS: 8
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I'm always a wee bit suspicious when someone's relationship issues can be summarized with some form of "what's wrong with my partner..." I'm not saying she isn't whacked, quite possibly she is. But the best starting point for a conversation about your relationship issues is with yourself, such as your expectations, your boundaries, your behavior, etc.
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Could it be because you are not handling her issues correctly?? Maybe you need to know how to aproach her if you know she is having "love" issues. Im not trying to be mean.
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I think blame is the number one cause of all problems soley because it isn't pointed in the right direction ! Sorry, but SHE'S causing absolute havoc in your relationship. She is.
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What's love got to do with it?? She has issues and being unloved as a child and your relationship are 2 totally different issues. If you are not in a relationship that is healthy, let her find someone that will appreciate her havocness and find someone who loves you back. I wasn't loved much as a child either, but I moved on and I cherish and love my husband and children more than words can say. Good luck! Some girls just like to create havoc and use any excuse in the book. Move on! Good Luck! Life's too short!
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Not being loved as a child may be her interpretation of the havoic that is going on currently. Being shown love in the wrong way can also cause problems but unless someone in the proffesion of human psycology makes that determination...it's sort of speculation. Some children are down right ABUSED and later on become kind loving adults so she may need to work out what shes feeling with someone that understands the human mind in depth. You can always be supportive while she's working through it all.
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Let me check my 8-ball. ... try again later.
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Since it is causing havoc in a relationship that takes 2, both people need to actively participate in the treatment and healing process. This is not a "fix her" problem, it is a fix the relationship problem. This is a precursor for you guys to deal with the reality that relationships often are not fun but work and you get out of them what you both are willing to put in. Good luck to you.
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Go with her to a shrink. A good one can help a lot.
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