ANSWERS: 9
  • 100% i would. it sound like if he were there he would cause more heart ache and hurt...i dont think that he should be there.
  • To add more, my dad is/was extremely abusive to my mom and me, and much less so to my younger sisters. I don't speak to him, and my mom only tolerates his calls when he calls to speak to one of my sisters. He hospitalized her more than once because of his beatings and she ended up shooting him when I was 10 (over 30 years ago). I detest him. He drinks daily, uses crack, LSD, marijuana, etc. He's verbally and physically abusive. He's 66 now and mom is 62. She deserves some peace. I plan on banning him from her funeral, as she despises him so much, and he has to be the center of attention and a male drama queen. Do you think this is wrong given the circumstances?
  • I know that abused women seem to have a hard time of cutting off all contact with their abusers, but I would see how my Mom felt about it first. It sounds like he was a total scumbag, coward ... but your Mom may want him there. While I agree with YOU, I would still ask.
  • I am so sorry for your situation - it's very sad. That being said... your mom has 2 years. Please, enjoy it. Prolong, embrace positivity. Before you let go, let love. Your mother is your mother. Your father also gave life to you. You are not the official representative of all things - even if you think you are fulfilling a diplomatic role. You are feeding your pain. He can be the worst man in the world. Right now, his presence or absence from the funeral is not as important as you living out today in complete love and acceptance. You have to accept your parents as they were, are, and always will be. No one ever wanted to be a monster in their child's eyes. I think the right thing to do is to let go, move forward, and embrace the most positive route you can. The path of least resistance and the least drama will make your mother stronger right about now. Good luck.
  • why would he want to be there, if he wasnt good to her when married or after theres no way i would let him be there.he might be your father but that dont mean you have to like or love him .my dad was an asshole , the older i get the more pissed off i get at him and he isnt missed at all .
  • Good for you !! That sounds like what I would do too. +5
  • Absolutely.
  • Your mom should make that call, not you.
  • Unless your mother wants him there I think you should ban him. But if he tries to come there might be a scene. So hire some security.

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