I am married (12yrs since i was 17yrs) & dont think i ever really loved my H. now i have 2 boys 3&5 and am wanting to get out. i feel like i have wasted my life in a marriage that is only 1 sided but i am afraid of what it will do to my boys. am i selfish
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 5
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I don't think so. I don't believe in staying in a relationship just for the kids. One of the reasons why I don't have any kids because I never wanted that to be a reason for someone to stay with me. My parents stayed together for a long time for that reason but I wish they would have divorced sooner because my mom is a lot happier now than she was when she was married to my dad. Also, I don't say that because she told me, I say that because it's obvious.
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i don't think ur selfish at all. what i think is that u need to stop thinking about the past bc thats not going to change, no matter how much u regret it or think about it. u need to move on with ur life and find ur self. if u never loved ur husband, and now its like ur only with him bc of the kids. to me thats being selfish to ur well being and ur happiness. u need to make a change in ur life and u have to do it now, stop wasting anymore time with this marriage, that will never work out and cheat ur selfish from happiness.
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lolol i think i've messaged you before... your not selfish.. you got married to young, you've learned your lession, and you want to be happy. Leave.
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Follow your heart. Forget about whether someone may label you as selfish or not. Children can sense feelings and they probably know emotionally that something is up with you and their father. My suggestion start living your life for you and your children and let your husband know how you feel directly if you have not already. We only have a few years on this earth. No sense spending it being with someone who you have no chemistry and deep love for.
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Consider seeing a counselor about this. 'Never really loved' is a strange phrase. You obviously felt strongly enough to marry him in the first place and stay with him for twelve years. Sometimes people repaint the past with the present - it's hard not to. I would also note that you are about to be thirty which is a milestone. Some people even think of it as a variety of 'over-the-hill'. . In any event, your marriage is not one-sided if there are two people in it. He may not be holding up his end but I would imagine you aren't holding yours up either. Marriages can be fixed more easily than they can be replaced. . If you're sure of your and his feelings/lack of feelings then yes, you should probably leave but the kids will pay some of the bill for the split.
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