Ask them to hold the line for a moment.... play loud music and keep them waiting ages.

When they ask, "How are you?" Say, "I am so glad you asked." Then go into a VERY long winded explanation of every possible complaint or illness you can think of...don't give them time to interrupt or ignore them if they do and keep going.

After they say something, keep saying "and then?" over and over.

say "Sorreeeeee, meee no speaka dee language" just repeat over and over til they get the message.

Ask them for their phone number so you can ring them at home at an inopportune time.

just keep saying after ever sentence of theirs, and is this in accordance with the prophecy???

If you have a pet parrot that is very talkative put him/her on the line to keep the lonely telesales person company.

I start to describe a day on the beach with dolphins jumping in the waves and a mai tai in my hand. That usually makes them realize how much they hate their jobs

March of dimes would you like to make a donation. We accept cash, credit cards, pay pal ect. What can I write you down for today???? Or 'ring ring' hello Pizza Hut how can I take your order. Or any other fast food chain. My teenage son learned if you ask them if they've had a bowel movement was it solid or runny with a fowl smell or lightly odored, that seems to embarrass them & piss them off where they don't call back.

When u pick up say "hi may i interest u in some (fill in the blank)" and u try to be the sales person and see what happens or say... "HELLO!" really loud! and scream into the phone alot!

if they ask you a question or tell you something say something random they ask: we are selling insurance you say: me to, i love pizza. i love they kind with pepperoni on it from pizza-hut. have you tried there new cheesey bites. they're really good. what do you like

I tell them that I will actually buy one of their products. In the aftermath of their unbelievable shock, I then tell them 'hah you idiot'

... from the movie "Ruthless People" ... in the movie it was used for a wrong number ... "Who are you calling for? I'm sorry, she can't talk with my penis in her mouth, I'll have her call you back when we're through." ... and hang up.

Check out this HILARIOUS audio file of telemarketing revenge: It may be too extreme for your purposes but it might give you some ideas. http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnsfw.com/?cdb2ff9c3ac76dc3c56b9a935e2fe4da

Tell them that you will buy their product!

Check out these audio files: It may be too extreme for your purposes but it might give you some ideas. http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnsfw.com/?cdb2ff9c3ac76dc3c56b9a935e2fe4da OR: http://joshualowry.vox.com/library/audio/6a00c225203796f21900c2252ab8c18e1d.html

I don't think you should play any practical jokes. Telesales is a dog's life - a wretched way to make a buck - and mostly, if telephone sales people had any other option, they'd TAKE the other option. My response is to get off the call as soon as I can, so I interrupt pleasantly and stop their spiel, saying, "no, thanks, I don't need anything along those lines, bye now." and I hang up. They can get on to the next call then and not waste time with me (who will NOT be a sale), and I don't have to listen to them, and I don't feel like a heel. Now, that's if they're normal and will take "no" for an answer. If they try to trap me into staying on the line and listening to them, then all bets are off. I've gotten a very few of the latter type, and what I have done twice is build them up to think they're going to have a sale, and then shut 'em down. But I would do that only to a total jerk.

I ask a lot of questions and even try to recruit them for aone of my businesses. Actually, I do not go out of my way to frsutrate them. I understand what it is like to do a difficult job. But if I were going to paly a prank I would ...

Disconnect your house phone like me and be strictly cellular. I don't have to worry about nonsense calls now.

I ask their name, then how did they get my number, then do they also have my physical address. If so, I tell them to mail me the info. I ask them to put me on the "do not call" list too. They never have anything to mail, at least not so far.

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and saviour?"

1) Maybe you can make jokes about the possible answers that one would give to such inquiries. But I would not use them in real life. I think that these people have difficult jobs with much stress and probably they were forced to do it because they could not find any other job. I just make it short and say "Thank you, but I have no interest in telemarketing" and just end the call. 2) Anyway, you could have a look at these sites: http://www.boloji.com/humor/jokes/043.htm http://www.jokebug.com/joke/Work_Jokes/6_4_4823/Telesales.html

I've got two things that I usually do. Here is what they will hear. 1) Listen very carefully...AAAAAAAAA! *hangs up* 2) One thing. I'll be right back. Let me go get a pen. *hangs up* lol

My friends boyfriend did this: 'Hello?' 'Hi, my name is **** from *** and I'm calling today...' 'Sorry, can you hold on one minute? I'm putting a wardrobe together, and I'm at a crucial part' 'Certainly sir' Lots of banging, swearing, silence.About five minutes later: 'Are you still there?' 'Yes sir, now, I'm calling today...' 'Sorry, two more minutes.' They stayed on the phone 20 mins! Fool

when they start to talk about there product interrupt them and ask if they have anything to clean a carpet. Before they say anything ask if it can get blood out of the carpet. Then go on to say "Oh lord I got it all over the wall, good god the ceiling to". or When they ask for Mr. or Miss so and so just tell them "Ah hell we ran him out from down here a long time ago, sorry S.O.B."

i talk to them for around a minute then ask if they like drums, most say yes and i give them a very long very loud solo.

Well; I have a few: 1. First, pretend to be interested, and then say no. 2. When you answer, speak in your own gibberish language. 3. Act like you know them. 4. If you do good impressions, do one of them! ;) 5. Say, "I like your clothes". Then hang up. 6. When they ask if you are there, say "No, this is Hugh Jass." 7. Hang up as soon as they start talking.

Pretend you're in the middle of having sex and ask them if you can put them on speakerphone and have them join in by voice. Usually, they will say "no" or just hang up. If, by some chance, they say "yes," tell them how perverted they are and ask to immediately speak with their supervisor. They WILL hang up immediately.

I start trying to sell THEM stuff.

Ask him to "talk to your wife, she's giving birth and you need to use the rest room"...Then hand it over to the closest women near you.

I TELL THEM TO HOLD FOR SECOND, AND THEN PUT MY COMPUTERS RADIO ON AN AFRICAN STATION THAT JUSTS PLAYS DRUMS,,,NOT A RACAIL COMMENT HERE EITHER, THERE IS A STATION ON AOL THAT JUST PLAYS DIFFERENT KINDS OF DRUMS

If they are selling a cd then a good one is to ask them how the song goes often they will sing it for you or ask thier number so you can telle them

As someone who used to do that for a living, I can say PLEASE DO SOMETHING THAT WILL AT LEAST MAKE THEM LAUGH, TOO. I SPENT TOO MANY LUNCH BREAKS CRYING IN MY CAR. That being said, the whole listening to the sales pitch followed by a, "Credit card? They don't let me have credit cards anymore after the incident," usually works.

Funny you should ask...Just after I read this question,s a telemarketer called....I was thinking of what I should do, but since it wasn't for me, I didn't want to risk it.... One thing you could do is when their done with their schpeel, you can telemarket back to them or keep saying "hello?"

Sorry, This is Customer care. What help do u want from us?

change the languge you speak in several times

I ask them for their home number, and I tell them I will call them right back. Pretend you are a kid and tell them My mommy is in the shower with my daddy, do you want me to her??? Me and boys play practical jokes on them all the time. If you cant beat em, join em......

Wow, I'd say this is a very nice way of turning down the people from the telesales industry. Good job. Being a telemarketing agent is a difficult, thankless, dead-end job nobody would choose for themselves unless they had nowhere else to go. We get racist people, rude people, angry people on a minute basis. Hey, we didn't want to piss anybody off. But we needed the job, and the job description says we need to make calls and make sales or else we're out. Yes I know there are telemarketing people who are total jerks and won't take NO for an answer, but that doesn't apply to everyone in this business. Just a couple of no's usually is enough for us to 'get' the message that you don't want to discuss anything. Thanks for all the suggestions on how to make fun of telemarketers. If it helps you, I hope it brightens your day doing these things.

one my dad does all the time...he talks to them for half an hour and once they annoy him he says. oh im sorry i dont speak english.. lol

Whisper and tell them you are glad they called and would they please contact you local police because someone is in your house and you are hiding in your closet and then start cryingThen frantically and terrified scream "DOnt touch me! Get away! NONONO! and hang up.

Don't. They are just trying to do their job and earn an honest living. Just kindly ask them to take you off their list and they will.

Speeeeaaaak.........reeeaaaaallllllllyyy.....slllllloooooowwwwllllyyyyy.

Tell them you're glad that they called as you would like to help them with their sex life. When they ask you how you would do that you scream to them at the top of your voice. "Go and get F*CKED!"

Tell them they've called a homocide scene. Ask them their name and physical location. Start questioning them about their relationship with the deceased (you). In a stage wisper tell an "assistant" to have the caller picked up for questioning. Ask the caller if he/she was aware that the deceased was a well known homosexual/sexual deviant. Ask about their sexual relationship. Or, keep a Jahova's witness tract handy and start reading it to them. They a 1,000 ways to mess with these people. And they're not just trying to earn a living. Unless it's a b2b call it's a violation of your privacy.

Let out a high pitch screech and hang up!

start screaming really loudly my friend did it and the guy on the phone went crazy thinking he was being murdered also i used to answer and tell them to hold for 2 seconds and put the phone down then an hour or so later id go check if they were still there or what i love doing, when they tell me what their selling i tell them im selling something to and try to con them in to mailing me money :):)

just let them believe theyre selling you something for about 3 hours and hang up. also specific pranks i have played with windows salesman that phoned a guy phoned while i was at work and i had nothing to do he was selling windows and said theyd pay 70% towards the cost of double glazing the whole building if wed agree for it to be a show home so i let him continue until he said "so, what are the size of your main windows" so i looked out into the main foyer at the windows which just hapen to be the largest single pains in the southwest of england and said "well, theres two of them ones about 40 foot by 40 foot and the others 60 foot by forty foot, were a shop" and the line went strangely dead, id have liked to see them double glaze those windows! another time a guy from a similar windows company called and me and a mate had him on speakerphone for hours trying to convince him we lived in a lighthouse and needed round windows but he kept trying to avoid the question but we just went back to "but do you sell round windows I live in a lighthouse" this guy got seriously infuriated when he caught on the best way to piss them of is to keep them on the line and never buy anything as they make money on commision and the more time you waste the more money they lose, its mean but hell theyre telesales they deserve it.

Just keep on repeating what they say.

One time, they called while my grandparents were having dinner at my house, so he answered the phone, said, "GRANDMA, PUT DOWN THAT GUN!", and hung up.

When they call, pretend you're paying attention. Then randomly say, "I'm sorry, I got hungry," and hang up.

Tell them you want a ransom for their dog.

Ask them if they take food stamps.

Answer the phone as if they've just called a phone sex hotline.

Repeat everything they say.

Try to sell them your car.

I always say, hang on i will get the owner, then leave the phone on the side until they hang up, sometimes they wait for ages

My dad and I have a pretty mean joke we like to play on telemarketers. I taught it to him, actually. If you have some time to mess with them, like 30 minutes or more, it's pretty fun. All you do is pretend you're interested for the first 10 minutes or so, and ask a lot of pertinent questions about whatever product or service they're offering. Then, at some point when they feel like they have you on the hook, just completely switch gears and begin acting like you're retarded and have no idea what's going on. We got a call from Anderson Windows once, and my dad tried this out. He had the guy going for a while, and then when the sales guy finally asked if he wanted to go ahead with the order, my dad started just saying "I have window!" over and over again. After a few minutes of confused frustration, the guy hung up on us. LOL

Telemarketers are doing their best to make a living. It's a lousy job. No need to add to their misery!! I think it is really cruel to be mean to them. Just firmly and quickly interject and tell them assertively that you resent the intrusion and to have their company remove your name from their call list...then say "Im hanging up now" and do so!

I screen ALL my calls through my answering machine. Many telemarketing companies use a computer to dial the numbers; when it gets an answering machine it hangs up.You can also put your number on a "Do Not Call" List. I don't know how anyone would take a job in this business. Everyone knows how much people hate telemarketers. However, since you seem to like answering your phone, tell them how badly you feel that the company is taking advantage of them in a dead-end job. Then don't say anything else. That'll get em.

Say, "Sure, I've got a minute. I charge $150.00 per minute - talk away!" It ought to shut 'em up fast.

I used to be a telemarketer, and the best practical joke I ever got was people pretending (I hope) to be having sex. They were still interested in talking to me and I wasn't allowed to hang up on a potential customer.

tell them you are not the house owner and you are going to get them but they will have to hold the line then just lay the phone next to your seat and call out every minute or so to pretend you are trying to get them to come to the phone my record is nearly 30 mins before the guy hung up

when they call just say,could you buy me lunch,so we can enjoy are time talking about it?,hehe

well if they called me i would pick up the phone and say"hi, i would like to order a medium cheese pizza with extra cheese" then they usually have response like"uh what" and then u say "o sorry u must have the wrong number" then hang up this joke cracks me up

well, it depends what there a selling..a good one would be for life insurance! If that is what they are selling ask how long it takes for it to be affective and then say you are going to kill yourself and they freak out and start saying STOP don't do that!!

Hand the phone to a three year old.

every time people call our house my sister picks up the phone and acts like bunny swan (if you dont know who that is go to youtude)and my brother acts like a drunken hilbilly and keeps asking who it is

"What you are wearing today sexy?"

act as though you are writing down whatever they say and ask them to spell anything of more than 2 syllables.

Give me your bank account# so I can buy what you're selling. :)

how about a polite "I'm not interested but thanks for checking" Telemarketing is the only job alot of these people can find and at least they are working

I am not sure it's a practical joke, but when I receive a telemarketing call who won't take my first "no, thank you" for an answer, I start talking and interrupt my own sentence with a hang-up. I gotta believe that leaves them wondering what happened.

I always like to speak to them in Russian. Really loud and fast seems to be most effective.

Say "This is my business line, do you mind calling back on my other line?" Then give them a number like "dial-a-prayer"

When a telemarketer called and asked if he could speak to my fiancee, my fiancee told him to wait just minuete because his boyfreind was playing with his butt and that he was trying to cum in the most annoyingly gay voice I have ever heard. I felt bad for that poor person on the phone but man it was funny!

Act like your a policeman and the person their calling for was murdered. Then start interrogating the telemarketer.

Try playing a Dumb Redneck to them. My favorite are the satellite TV sales. I ask lots of questions, like "How much duct tape it takes to hold that dish on the roof of our mobile home?" "Do you have that channel with <country star>?" "How much NASCAR can I watch?" Finally I ask "What about HD?" They always say yes and I say "Dang, my wife won't let me have that no more cause I shot the TV during a hunting show. Bye now, I gotta go fix the El Camino."

If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder... louder... LOUDER... If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

Sing at them. I recommend Dancing Queen, Take A Chance On Me, or any ABBA songs, really. The funniest thing is, when I first did this, he tried to talk over me. I sang even louder. He was screaming in the end. Then I asked if he'd wait while I got a glass of water, left the phone for over 10 minutes, and he was still there when I came back. Then I hung up.

when they start talking bout what they wanna talk about keep yawning

Get a soundboard set up on the computer and talk to them as Arnold, or Samuel Jackson.

When they announce themselves, tell them they've reached the crisis hotline and they're on the air.

this

say would you like fries with that order

Tell them they've called a murder scene. I send you an actural recording of someone who did it.

Say you really want what they're selling then go on about how you have all these collectors after you because you dont pay your bills, but insist that they sell you the product. Or, act really confused, ask too many questions so they hang up on you.

I recognized their number from my Caller ID so I answered as the County morgue. They never called back.

I used to telemarket. It sucks and is stressfull hearing all those 'click's on the other end of the line. People can be rude and hatefull towards them. But a funny prank even to them could make their day. All they hear all day is "No thankyou" or "Why do you keep calling me?!" or "Leave me alone" So.. to make them laugh I would say something like this. (dont give them time to answer any of the following. just keep talking until you hang up) Hi, I have a question for you. Are you lonely? Do you hate your job? Would you rather be taking a nap instead of having the phone glued to your ear? Feel like your gonna explode if you hear one more no? Let me help you. YES, I dont want anything your selling. I wish you well through the last hours of your horrible job and thank you for taking the time to listen to me. Have a great day. Then hang up.

well if there selling home appliences...say (and sound sad)is this some kind of joke? my house burnt down! and hang up. if there selling flamable items like liters or welding irons or something with fire also tell them the applience was the cause of the fire

become an answering machine. and take their message.

I tell them my parents aren't home and I am only 13 years old and I will be glad to take a message. They hate that!

Play them a song with the touch tone. Mary had a little lamb is a classic favorite. http://www.frivolity.com/teatime/Songs_and_Poems/phone_songs.html

Google Tom Mabe.....his are great

Ask them how many bucks.lol

Why waste your time screwing around with someone who's just trying to make a living? Just politely say you're not interested and ask them to take you off their list. If you haven't already put youself on the Federal and state "Do not call" list you might consider doing so.

Make a recording of a previous telemarketer and play it back to every other telemarketer.

Get on the national "do not call" registry and they will have no one to call.

If you can be bothered: keep them talking, tell them about your family, your grandparents, your house, your job, your town. Tell them your star sign, your food preferences, your favourite brand of yogurt. Tell them about your favourite TV programme, film, tell them why you love the sound of the bagpipes, and ask them to hang on because your uncle will be over in twenty minutes and he can give a demonstration. They hang up and never call back.