My mother passed away 2 wks. ago. My parents are divorced. My father is remarried. My stepmother wanted one of my mother's tables. She asked my father to ask me if she could have it. My father also wants some of the things. Is this rude of them?
by 
annamolly
ANSWERS: 7
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No. People deal with death in different ways and although you may think that its too soon for them to be asking for these things, if you have no plans on keeping them then why wouldn't you give them away? Death is truly painful, I know as I've lost both my parents, but holding on to material possessions won't make you feel any better. What do some tables have to do with the memories you have of your mother? At least they didn't walk in the house and take those things, as many people have done to their families. Asking you seems highly appropriate, and unless you're going to be needing these tables and other things for yourself then you should give them to someone who wants them. Just my opinion, hope that helps. Sorry for your loss.
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I don't think it's rude, but I do understand your feeling slightly offended by it. It must feel as if they just want your mother's "stuff" and are not focused on the fact that she has just passed away. I'm sorry for your loss. Do what you are most comfortable doing. You don't "owe" your Dad and his new wife anything, if you want my opinion.
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If your mother had bad feelings about the new wife, I would say it was inappropriate for her to ask for the table. I think it's okay for your Dad to ask for some things, unless the divorce was bitter and contentious. It's always your decision whether to say yes or no.
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I'm very sorry for your loss. I know how it felt to lose my sweet Mama. She was my best friend and I felt like part of me went with her. My heart and prayers go out to you at this sad time. As for your father and step mom wanting different items. I know it's hard to let go but it is ok to let them have some of her things especially if the divorce was not a bitter one. I wish you the best. Time does help...
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Do you feel offended? If you do, it was rude. Only you know the circumstances completely, so trust your instinct. Having said that if these are things that you don't want to keep, let them have them. Stuff is just stuff.
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I am so sorry about your loss. Do what your heart tells you is appropriate. If what they ask hurts you tell them you will think at the appropriate time. You certainly mourn now and not into the material stuff.
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Yes, it is. If your mother intended for them to have these items, she would have willed them to your father and stepmother.
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