So why not tell him your feelings?

I love my 13 year old male cousin, I'm 16 male, adopted at 5, bi-curious: (but only while I'm young). I'm the same person who asked the question: We wrestle before we go to sleep sometimes when our families are together so he's visiting, and we sleep in sleeping bags next to each other. The last time he was up I tried to grab his belly to see if he was still ticklish there. He never told me to stop though, then we wrestled a little bit more. I walked with two fingers to his neck, then he grabbed my hand and I tried to get at his face (like a blind person) then I massaged his neck to his back. He looked at me with his alluring dark brown eyes. Then I started to wrestle with him a little more. He took hold of my hand and we played around like that a little bit.  It led to him taking my hand and putting it down to his butt and said "there!...huhh...." then he said "oh, wrong side...oops!" then he put my hand on his crauch and said "much better" then I just laid there with my hand on top of his shorts and then he told me to "grab." I thought to myself "should I actually do this?" But I was scared, so I just left it on his crauch not knowing what to do with my heart beating intensly. I didn't know if he wanted me to grab for sexual reasons, mutual reasons, or if it was a sibling dare. So I took my hand off after a fairly short time. I don't know if he kinda wanted to try guy on guy one time or what it was he was feeling, he kind of rolled over and said good night in a meloncholy way. I thought I can't pass this up so I asked why he did that. He said that his friends did that kind of dare thing. And then he proceded to tell me that he had sex with a girl that was 1 year younger than him a month before out of nowhere and that came to me as a surprise....... He hasn't told his mom: (his only parent). So now I had many, many questions because I'm 16 and have never gotten any action from anybody: the first was how it happened. And the second was if he used protection and he had used a condom. After I found that he played it safe even though playing it truly safe is not having sex at all, I was interested what his first time was like. He said they took it slow and it was truly sentimental. That was interesting to me because they're so young, so I hope it will last for them.....until marriage even. Because with love that young, it usually doesn't last. Then it came to me telling him that I was bi-curious, and then I asked him about every detail of how it happened and how it felt and what the both of them did exactly. They were alone without any parents. She came on to him first, with a kiss and then they made out. It went from taking clothes off, then ultimately going to arrousal. Like usual first sex, with what I know and have read about it, it happened slowly and like usual first "puppy love" sex. Thus my name on this site.......It happened that I told him I was bi-curious, and that I don't tell my parents of any of my sexuality. So it came to me asking if he would like to do something mutual.... if you know what I mean. He told me "I wouldn't do that, not to be mean....I have a girlfriend." Through the two nights of talking, he kept saying he has to pee then he'd go and come back fairly quickly. The very last time he said he had to go pee I asked him before hand if I got him thinking about her and he said yes then he didn't come back for about 8 minutes (very questionable). But I still feel like all these years of doing things like "wrestling" with him with very close contact and every other thing that is very questionable between sexual and a simple guy cousin relationship is very mixed up to me and I don't know what to think. I want some possible thoughts from the people that read this and your opinions on what happened. And has this happened to you before? The very last thing I said to him was that he was a great person and he told me I was a really great person too. So I don't know......I haven't masturbated about anything (it's not like I only think about him when I have my own personal "happy time", I do it thinking about many things, but mostly about females) since the conversations we had and I have been awake longer at night. Maybe it's some kind of sexuality withdrawal, or maybe it's how deeply I have been thinking about this. I haven't just came out and told him face to face that I love him, should I? And if you get the chance, look up the song "All I Wanna Do - By:Lunar Fiction" If you like the song, that's how I feel about him.

you don't need to ask this question 4 times. 3 of them will be flagged as duplicates