I've been 'the other woman' with this guy for about a year, but he came to my house recently and wrecked my shower while he was drunk and on drugs. Should I tell his girlfriend?
by 
Angelina Stillgo
ANSWERS: 30
Non Contact Infrared Thermometer -- $19.99
While Supplies Last
13deals
.png)
Ad
-
This relationship is worth ending on it's own merits, but this guy sounds dangerous. Make a clean break from him, but I would not advise contacting his other girlfriend. First, you risk enraging him, the end result which might be him coming after you. Second, remember that YOU are the 'other woman', and his girlfriend may decide to blame you. No, my advice is to cut your ties permanently and have no contact whatsoever with him in the future. You deserve a trustworthy guy in your life and he will NEVER be it.
-
i was the "other woman" for 12 years and went through the same thing you are and yes we are together now as a couple but believe me I went through hell and am telling you to not go through with this relationship. My relationship is fine but could be better. After all the stuff I went through I find I always go back to those days and the hurt and anger always stays with you. And the thought of I wasted all those years waiting for him to leave her, I couldn't been with someone who treated me more decent and with more respect (you don't feel respected do you?) Your the one hiding your love and relationship. If he's violent on drugs and alcohol thats not good BELIEVE ME>I KNOW!!!!! My man changed for the better but like I said I will never forgot and you never really do forgive (you just put it aside). Thats one of the reasons I will not get married I am fine just the way things are. PLEASE DON"T SETTLE FOR BEING THE OTHER WOMAN!!!!!!! Even if you feel he'll leaver her, you most likely will regret it.
-
I would tell his girlfriend, but be careful not to make it sound like you are doing it out of anger. She needs to know somehow (if she doesn't already), that her boyfriend is a cheat, a drunk, and a drug addict since that not only makes him a bad boyfriend, but could also lead to health problems for her. Let her know that you are breaking it off for good with the guy, but wanted to let her know for her sake. Doing so in a letter is probably the best bet since she will have time to think about it before responding. Just make sure that he doesn't get it instead. If you are concerned for your own safety, be sure you are prepared for the outcome before you've decided for sure to inform her. It might be a better idea to anonymously tip off the police about his drug habits. Of course, while you're at it, you might just want to get a police report filed for the incident and get a restraining order. Of course, do use your best judgement since you know them both better than I about what either one of them are capable of.
-
Have you seen that those who deliver bad new that generates a emotional reaction from the receiver really with they where somewhere else. It happens enough to see that delivery of honest helpful bad news (we have to amputate to save a life) does not mean a recipient will think so, at least the first few minutes before logic returns, but that is a long time to fend against a emotional outburst against you. And if you think taking precautions will work, you are right, but that means you are seriously trying to tell the girlfriend about this and that means you are still in pretty deep. The minimum requirement for two people to be around each other is respect and that is physical respect as a foundation. If that is skipped by physically damaging you or what you hold important to your well being, the rest of it is a time bomb that will go off and if you miss it, it is because you removed yourself from it or you never saw it coming.
-
Dear all Thanks for all your responses regarding this! I am way past the experience now! Anyway, I did send the girlfriend a SMS message telling her. I got no response, no comeback - nothing. Although it was not from my phone but his that I sent it as he had stupidly left it at my house, the night of the shower wrecking. I have nothing to do with him and wouldn't be able to pick him out of a line up if I tried! Thanks again. xx
-
If you weren't willing to tell his girlfriend about the relationship when things were good, I don't feel you have any reason to tell her about things being bad. She almost certainly knows what he's like, as well or better than you do. Worry about your own situation with this guy (I can't call him a "man") and let his girlfriend deal with her own problems.
-
um..first of all..u dont need to be with him. For one, it makes it kinda nasty because you know for sure he is sleeping with someone besides you, and maybe even more and for two it is being wrong to his girlfriend, and for three why wouldnt you want to find someone who want you and all of u and no one else. U should definately come clean to his girlfriend and leave him completely.
-
Tell his girlfriend? your sense of priorities is way out of line. you should call the police and have him arrested! you apparently have been dealing with his alcohol and drug addiction for quite a while. like the saying goes, "you live with pigs and you're gonna get dirty".
-
The answer depends on certain facts that aren't given. If you want to tell her to be a tattletale then no. If you want to tell her to get revenge at him, then no. If you're truly concerned for her safety, want to repent and make things right, or care enough about her feelings to come clean so she knows she's dealing with a cheater, alcoholic, and drug user (Assuming she doesn't already know these things) then yes you should tell her. But be aware of the risks and possible consequences, always weigh that into any decision.
-
I would not say anything to his girlfriend, but I would certainly tell him where to get off and not see him again ever. But that is just what I would do.
-
What was his first name? Just curious..lol..?
-
Why would you do that? you think shes gonna fix your shower or something?
-
Why are you going to tell his girlfriend *now*? Revenge? Because he wrecked your shower? I think you're a cheater and sort of an enormous jerk. You don't mind messing around with this other woman's man, but you're going to go tattle to her when he screws up your stuff? You need to think about your life a little bit. Just a little. Maybe.
-
I think you have no sense of right and wrong, black and white, pride and shame. No one in your life ever told you that it is a shame to be "the other woman"? How dare you face his girlfriend - the innocent one? What kind of family bring you up? What type of friends do you hang around with? Did you finish high school? Anyway, you end up with such kind of man. But he's not even yours, he's another woman's man. Please, do something right in life, will you?
-
He's not doing anything to you that you're not doing to yourself
-
Why would you tell now and not then? End things with this guy. He has the both of you for crying out loud. Ask yourself, DO YOU REALLY LIKE BEING THE OTHER WOMAN?
-
tell his girlfriend what? that you are the other woman, that he wrecked your shower, or that her boyfriend is an addict? i'd keep my mouth shut and ditch him FAST.
-
Just kick this man out of your house and your life. do not give him another chance. there will only be a repeat performance. do you really need a drunk man who uses drugs in your life who has a gf on top of it??!!! you can bet his gf has seen his drunken, on drugs fits. just take care of your life and forget him and his life. if you call the gf you'll get pulled further into the drama. I wouldn't do it.
-
hmmmm... a home wrecker that got her home wrecked ..... poetic justice i think ;-)
-
Why would you hurt her anymore than you already have? The biggest loser is you.
-
I would just break it off with him, then get help for myself. My question is why in the world would you settle for being second when you can be first? In that I mean personally I would feel as if I was his "second" choice it is obivious his 'girlfriend' is his first choice or he would have left her long ago.
-
You are the other woman, and you know he uses drugs and drinks... No you should not tell his wife or S/O you should go to counseling and figure out why you are co-dependent +5
-
Don't you think she already knows what a loser he is? She is sitting there night after night waiting for this pig to come home. He's playing you both. Maybe even a few more woman. If he cheats on her, what makes you think he doesn't cheat on you? This guy is a player and your a fool. You need to find out why you would denigrate your self this way. Don't you think you deserve better? Why give her more grief? You should both give him the gate.
-
im sure you need to let that event for now, maybe that guy is still assuming that you liked what he did. . . Once he get back to his sanity, explain things to him, that you hate how he acted and you felt the urge to inform his gf. on what he did. Because you don't want him anymore. . Put an end, a dot by making clarity, dont let him assume "making an ASS-out of yoU and ME". . and if he did the same to thing. . . then it's your time to report. . . to his GF and to the NYPD. . . Trespassing, and attempted rape. . . :)
-
How about you should be getting rid of him. You sound more concern telling the girlfriend but you're not concern that you're the other woman dealing with a loser. Seriously, love yourself because if you truly loved yourself you wouldn't be dealing with that bullshit and you would think highly of yourself to not want to be the other woman but want to be the only woman.
-
If you have been the other woman for a year, there is more to discuss than his behavior. The guy sounds like a con artist and freeloader. Does he ask for money too?
-
Tell his girlfriend? How about telling yourself and dumping this loser!
-
Not if your reason is only to benefit yourself.
-
Forget his girlfriend and forget him. They must both be losers, why are you lowering yourself to that level?
-
I dont understand why people like this dont just go to a mental hospital or something. Being "the other woman", does that turn u on or something? Cause idk about u but id be pretty pissed to be the other person, especially for a year. The guy on the other hand has no life, and is a player playing one (hopefully only one) mentally ill woman and another girl who also has her priorites out of wack. The guy is obviously an idiot and his life is going down the drain as we speak. Tell the Girlfriend? Tell her what? That your a cheater too, or that he wrecked your shower? If i were u id go with both and then id go to a mental hospital because of my own stupidity to allow such a situation to arise in my life.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC