Lady, you need to get some backbone before you start worrying about being all forgiving. He violated the trust of the relationship. You have a RIGHT to be untrusting, and to some degree you have a responsibility to hold him accountable for what he did. You have absolutely no obligation to forgive. If that makes you uncomfortable... then that's what you're up against -- some fixed belief that you SHOULD forgive, that it would be the right thing to do, or that you're somehow obliged to do so. That's all bunk, you are not obliged. You have a right to retribution, to have him make the scales even out somehow, or to dump him and never trust him again. Now... on the other side of all that, when you've made peace with yourself, and with the reality of what happened, and with the recognition that he actually isn't all that trustworthy, you may indeed reach a point where you are willing to let it go and create some fresh canvas to paint on. But that has to be a *free choice*, made only AFTER you have become resolved with regard to your anger, hurt, and shock at being betrayed. Sometimes you gotta beat the crap out of somebody before you can forgive them. You're resisting that part.

It's possible. I've done it. E-mail me: anonymousgirl.from.ab@live.ca. You don't have to, but I'm offering to help you out with this anyway.

The real issue of trust here is whether you trust yourself. You can't control other but you can control how you feel about them. If you trust and honor yourself, then ask whether you are honoring yourself in this relationship. If you answer "yes", then accept him as he is...as you accept yourself as you are. Who is to be forgiven here, you or him? It's not really a question of forgiving him, he did what he did. It is you who were upset. Can you forgive yourself for feeling upset? Maybe not. Maybe you feel your relationship with him is not to your best interests. Learn first to accept yourself, every thing else will fall into place.

The truth is....that there is some part of yourself that knows that you should move on. That part of yourself is your heart/mind. And it's telling you, that you can't forgive your boyfriend. You are never going to be the same as a couple because he cheated.