If marriage is what she wants and you can't see yourself ever going there with her... then you're just wasting both yours and her time.

desicions. which outweighs the other?? the good?? or bad??

Ouch. Sounds like you've been given one of those "rock and a hard place" type deals. For me, I would break it off. I don't take well to people ordering me to do things that make me uncomfortable. But if you still DO want to be with her, (as a boyfriend and not a husband) then I would tell her something like what you said in your question. And keep in mind that people DO date for more than three years sometimes before they get married. Good luck! +2

You definitely don't want to take the step towards marriage if you are hesitant towards it. She has to understand that if you aren't ready then thats that. Marriage is supposed to be forever and you want to make sure your with the person you want to be with for the rest of your life.

Marriage should be the next step, putting the icing on the cake so to say. A joint decision - not a forced do this or else situation.

I've been in that same exact situation! Bail!

Get out whilst you still can...

Every relationship will have it's flaws. Do you truly love this woman? Would you consider yourself to be fence riding in a state of non-commitment so you can have the "best of both worlds," with the "easy out?" Living together? Are you acting as a good leader in the relationship? Is it worth investing time into to making it work with less of those bad times? Are both of you teachable? Would you be willing to make the commitment if both of you were proactive in learning how to be a better spouse (i.e. less arguments)?

Welcome to real life. No relationship is always wonderful. A bit nasty is a relative term. Do you mean she is abusive and violent? Or do you mean that she gets tired of waiting for you to get of the couch and dump the trash sometimes and nags or makes a snippy comment? Where do you come in in this? Do you do anything to contribute to those times when she is nasty? Or are you just all sweetness and light and she has no call to get annoyed with you. If she is abusive and violent, by all means, get out while the getting is good. But if you are not living up to your half and she is getting tired of it from time to time, well, when you leave you'll be taking yourself with you and you'll find the next relationship will be the same. You may spend your life looking for something better and never finding it because you'll be contaminating every relationship with your problems. In that case, she make actually end up grateful if you decide to leave. Only you can know which is the case here. You need to search your heart and your behavior carefully. If your behavior is the problem, then you need to get it together or you'll have one bad relationship after another all your life. My first clue is that a girlfriend of three years should be a wife of a year and a half or two years. I don't blame her if she is tired of waiting after that long. I would be too. I don't think asking for marriage after three years is out of line or demanding in any way. I think not having offered it or moved on after three years is being a bit of a cad.