If you feel like your marriage is over after 21 years but you cannot let go and nor can your husband. What do you do? If there is someone that has said they want to be with you and wants to know the marriage outcome.Can you believe them?
by 
hchie100
ANSWERS: 5
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I would suggest you go to marriage counseling for you and your husband.
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Get counseling and see if the marriage is over first. You don't want to move on and then have second thoughts later. Do the work now. If it works out great. If not, then you know you did everything you could.
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I know very well where you stand. It's, at best, very awkward to put an end to a relationship which has been the center of your life for so many years. It's like grabbing hold of half your heart and tearing it out of your chest. It's effectively become part of you. Knowing it is over though and you want to move on is something you can't control. You need to end it for yourself, not because someone is showing you interest. I know everything you just said on a very personal level. I don't know if you can believe them but I understand your desire to want to believe. If you move forward and end the marriage you need to do it because you want a different life. In your circumstances it might be easy to get attached and I know how much your heart yearns for something you don't have. End it for yourself if you choose to end it. That person may or may not be there for you but someone will be at some point. Don't do it for someone else. Do it for yourself on your terms and when you feel comfortable and you won't look back and feel you made a mistake.
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nothing good ever came out of jumping out of one relationship to be in another. If you want to break it off....do it. You dont want to just go out with someone because they pay a little attention to you and make you feel good. There will be plenty of that when the judge signs the decree. You see, by jumping from one relationship to another, you dont allow yourself enough time to deal with the aftermath. You bring in that baggage to the next relationship and you didnt have enough time to process it.
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You made a promise to love each other in till death. I think of that and I have been married 23 years. There will be rough spots but you need to work a bit harder and try to overcome them. Leave this outsider where they belong... outside. Sound like they are waiting for your marriage to fail.
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